


Crime and Punishment

by Conduitstreetcat, TheGreenFaerie



Series: Symbiotic Criminal Psychopaths [6]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, BAMF Jim, BAMF Sebastian Moran, BDSM, Feels, Jealousy, Kidnapping, Killing, Love, M/M, Mexico, Stripping, mormor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-09-23 01:36:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 64,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17070998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Conduitstreetcat/pseuds/Conduitstreetcat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreenFaerie/pseuds/TheGreenFaerie
Summary: This is Book Six of the Symbiotic Criminal Psychopaths series.We suggest you read them in order, as it's a continuing story, and you'll enjoy it more.The previous books are:1 Kiss or Kill: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14583459/chapters/337018082 Unholy Union: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14923773/chapters/345719613 Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15368880/chapters/356632624 Paradise Lost: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15987896/chapters/372982015 Roses and Tequila for Santa Muerte: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16217366/chapters/37906076





	1. In a Different Light

_Tiger is back... I can sleep now. I think I was already asleep... but it’s not proper sleep without a Tiger to cuddle._

_You pull me close and it’s nice and soft and warm... and I’m sinking deeper into sleep._

_My dreams are embarrassingly mundane. The coffee maker breaks and we are forced to use instant. A black kitten turns up and you feed it too much so it grows four foot tall. We’re back in London and I’m cold because I blew up the apartment so it doesn’t have any walls._

_I wake up and realize I’m cold because I worked myself out of the blankets and too far away from you. I move back to my rightful place in your arms, and your eyes open, and the world lights up when you smile at me._

_“Hey there, Kitten...”_

_God, you’re beautiful. How could there be anything better than waking up to that smile?_

_I feel my mouth stretch as I smile back. “Why hello there Tiger... come here often?”_

 

 

"I come here as often as you let me," I grin, and lean in to kiss you.

Your lips move against mine gently, and then more firmly.

"Mmm... that's nice..." I murmur, when we part. I lay my hand on your cheek, and you nuzzle against it.

"I assume we're on the same page about not leaving the villa for the rest of the day?" I say softly. "One outing was enough... I want you all to myself for the rest of the day..." I kiss you again, and caress your face.

 

 

_“I’m yours, Tigger... I did enjoy visiting Lady Death, and getting a bike, and especially our lunch,” god your lascivious grin would be X-rated if it were filmed... “but I have no desire to go out of our bubble again. But, it did work to get us out of that odd mood we were in. Though I’m no less in love with you...” I pull you close._

_“God, Tiger, you’re heaven... let’s be teenagers in love; all tangled limbs, earnest words, walks on the beach hand in hand. I fancy giving my old self the finger by doing everything that would disgust him..._

_But let’s start with coffee...”_

_I speak bravely, but make no attempt to move. It’s much too good lying in your arms, your thumb absentmindedly stroking my neck._

 

 

"I'm right there with you, babe..." I say softly. "I enjoyed being out with you, even though it felt hard to be separate. But it felt like a palate cleanser, somehow. It's easy to believe the entire world is us, but then it's also easy to get all swept away by our feelings, like this morning. Now that we've been out, I feel more grounded and less surreal, which is good. Being teenagers in love will not feel like a stretch at all... sounds perfect."

I kiss the spot I've been stroking, move my tongue against it. "And you know I can get behind giving your old self the finger... but I'm OK with fingering either of you, really. Coffee?" I grin.

 

 

_“Careful, Tigger... you might not make it downstairs if you keep licking me and making innuendos... though that was hardly an innuendo, really...”_

_I roll myself upright and get up, grab some items of clothing that are lying around (the cleaners have been told not to do our bedroom any more), stare at you until you do the same, as well as strap on your gun - for you more natural than putting on a shirt - and we make our way downstairs, where you sit on the top while I make us coffee, with much touching and kissing whilst waiting for the machine to do its thing._

_“It’s still quite warm... want to sit outside?”_

_You nod and we walk out to the beach chairs, sit down hand in hand, my leg thrown over yours, staring at the sea, looking so different under the overcast sky - more like the Irish Sea, I think with an involuntary shiver. Why the Irish Sea, of all the seas I’ve seen in my life? It could be the North Sea, if we’re thinking of bleak grey seas... but this still looks different, more tropical, even when it’s grey. I do hope it will be nice again tomorrow though - everything looks better when it’s not grey..._

 

 

"So... we've reacclimatized to the world after leaving the realm of the dark lord... with a death saint ceremony, motorcycle ride, and a wank in a restaurant lavatory... followed by an aggressive fuck and a nap. Seemed to do the trick!" I lightly stroke the thigh that's resting on me, revelling in our physical proximity. "We'll have to remember this formula for next time we fall into the dark realm... I wonder if it's OK to mix the order? Wank, ride, death saint, fuck, nap? We'll have to experiment... but fucking and napping go so well together."

I squeeze your hand. "What shall we do with the rest of our day, babe? I'm so happy to be home with you again..."

 

 

_"Me too... just you and me; no nympho nurses or homicidal locals... a big improvement on our last outing._

_I don't know Tiger... I'm happy to just laze about with you and be hopeless romantics, dancing to another song on your playlist, watching the sunset, though it's going to be rather underwhelming today I fear, watching some Game of Thrones, touching, kissing, and fucking whenever we feel like it..._

_But I'm open to suggestions...?"_

 

 

"My mind is delightfully blank, and anything and everything on that list sounds like perfection. _You_ are perfection... I'm looking forward to our evening of doing nothing except being together... Now come here..." I kiss you, and lose myself in the sensation of your lips against mine. "I love you, Jim..."

 

 

_It still makes my heart soar to hear that... "I love you, Sebastian... Sebastian Moriarty, né Moran, the only man I've ever loved... the only man I've ever kissed and meant it... the only man I've ever made love with... the only man I've ever trusted... You are so many things I'd never have thought possible, Sebastian." I realize my eyes are getting damp, again._

_"You're also the only one who has made me cry after I was twelve... but all tears of love."_

_I stroke your arm, your beautiful arm... suntanned now, with its light blond hairs and its scars, paler than the rest of your skin. The arm that has held me so often, that I trust completely, that I know will kill my enemies and hold me safe regardless of threat. I weave my fingers in between yours._

 

 

"Baby... you know I feel the same way..." I bring your hand to my lips and kiss it tenderly. "You're all I've ever wanted in this life. And I have the perfect song from my playlist, if I can have this dance...?"

I stand up and you follow. I select a song on my phone, and place it on the table.

Sounds of muffled traffic or machinery fill the air for a few moments. "You'll have to replace 'she' with 'he'... I did..." I murmur as I take you in my arms, and Martin Gore from Depeche Mode begins to sing Somebody:

_I want somebody to share_

_Share the rest of my life_

_Share my innermost thoughts_

_Know my intimate details_

_Someone who'll stand by my side_

_And give me support_

_And in return_

_She'll get my support_

_She will listen to me_

_When I want to speak_

_About the world we live in_

_And life in general_

_Though my views may be wrong_

_They may even be perverted_

_She'll hear me out_

_And won't easily be converted_

_To my way of thinking_

_In fact she'll often disagree_

_But at the end of it all_

_She will understand me..._

As we sway, I whisper in your ear, "Although in my case... I'm easily converted to all of your perverse ways... my deviant darling..."

 

 

_I cry, again, like I do with all your songs. Just listening to the lyrics, knowing that you will have chosen these, played them, listened to them intently, maybe even sang along..._

_You had *this* on your playlist?_ 'I want somebody to share the rest of my life _'!? Me?! God, Seb... how did you ever think that that was a good idea? Of all the people... and you must have *known* it wasn't realistic... you mad, insane masochist... how could you *listen* to this?! Knowing it was unreal, knowing you would *never* have what you longed for... driving the point home... you madman..._

listen to me when I want to speak...

_Oh Seb..._

_I am so sorry..._

_You seem to be surprised by my tears - really? How can you show me what you were subjecting yourself to and expect me to not feel - all this...?_

 

 

Oh - you're crying as you listen to the song. I keep thinking this will be a happy experience, to show you that I got everything I was dreaming about... but instead you're imagining what I went through then. Well, at least I know you're capable of feeling empathy - for me, anyway!

I kiss your forehead. "It's OK, sweetheart... these songs make me happy to listen to - my dream came true..." I whisper.

_I want somebody who cares_

_For me passionately_

_With every thought_

_And with every breath_

_Someone who'll help me see things_

_In a different light_

_All the things I detest_

_I will almost like_

"Wanna know a secret? I enjoy listening to your terrible music sometimes..." I murmur. "Don't tell Jim..."

 

 

_I grin through my tears. "I won't..." I smile._

I don't want to be tied

To anyone's strings

I'm carefully trying to steer clear of

Those things

_"Well, that doesn't quite apply..." I remark._

_You chuckle._

But when I'm asleep

I want somebody

Who will put their arms around me

And kiss me tenderly

_I wrap my arms around you and kiss you. My Sebastian... you will get anything you want, anything I can give you. Anything to make up for the time when I was horrible to you, left you hanging…_

Though things like this

Make me sick

In a case like this

I'll get away with it

_My turn to chuckle now - this sounds a lot like me... always refusing anything that reeked of love, romance, sweetness... unless I could sneakily get away with it, like pretending to be asleep before I could push your arms away from me... insisting on playing the loving couple when playing characters for a job..._

_Oh, Sebastian, you've fallen for the most idiotic genius on the planet. But thank god you have._

_The song is over, we're standing on the beach, holding each other, gently stroking each other's back. I feel your heart beat steady and strong in your chest, a soothing rhythm..._

 

 

I sigh shakily. “That one was a big deal. I used to listen to it as a teenager... and when things went horrifically wrong, I couldn’t listen to love songs anymore. It had to be metal, the harder the better, that’s what I needed. You can imagine my surprise, when I started listening to love songs again after a _lifetime_... in my late 30’s, as a fucking assassin!! Longing for the last person in the world I should have been dreaming about. And now I’m slow dancing to these love songs on the beach in the arms of the man I adore? How did it turn out this way, Jim? The odds were not in our favour...”

 

 

_I shake my head. "Miracles, Tiger... You were the miracle. You really were... still are. Me being attracted to you - that wasn't so miraculous, there are plenty of hot guys out there, and most of them are willing to put out if you throw enough money at them. But you being so incredibly talented that I had to restrain myself from trying to get into your pants - that was already a rather improbable combination. And then - me relaxing my rules enough so that I could shag you as well as employ you - well, that was unique. And you falling in love with me? With *me*?! The coldest, cruellest, most insane psychopath you could find? I mean - really!? That is quite a miracle. No one has ever loved me except my mother and my brother. And they didn't survive the experience..._

_And then I did the most terrible thing I could do to you. And when I came back - you didn't kill me. You didn't stomp out of my life forever. Oh, you tried - And exactly that, the threat of losing you, is what my stupid brain needed to realize that oh, look, we can feel feelings after all, who'd have thunk it. Now we're really talking miracles that should get the Vatican involved..._

_And then you manage to survive and counteract numerous meltdowns on my part, and here we are, still together, still alive, still in love._

_Tiger, my incredible Tiger, you are a miracle on Earth and deserve to be venerated as a saint, and I will spend the rest of my life doing so..."_

 

 

I'm listening intently, while holding you in my arms. "So it all comes down to a series of miracles, each more improbable than the last? I'm not sure who we have on our side given our amoral code... but obviously it's not someone to be trifled with. Despite all odds we're still together, still alive, still in love... as you say...”

I kiss your hair. "I'm no saint though, my sweet - unless there's a patron saint of fucking and fighting? Then Saint Tiger would fight anything that comes at you... To protect you, and keep you safe...” I kiss your neck, and move my hands along your back. "... and keep your thirst quenched... your hunger satisfied... your desires satiated... whatever my dark lord orders... whatever my beloved husband longs for..."

 

 

_"Mmmm... you are incorrigible, Tiger... and rather delicious with it..._

_So… actually… I was thinking... yesterday when I first asked for a story, you mentioned a fantasy of dominating me for an evening - and to be fair, I'm intrigued... We have never done that... and I have no idea how I'll like it, but I have to admit that the idea seems... quite hot._

_The thought was inconceivable when I was desperately holding on to control, but now... why not? I don't think I'm going to turn into a switch, but I'm quite keen to give this a try... What do you think, Tiger?"_

 

 

My eyes widen. "What do I think? I thought maybe one day down the road, if I was lucky..."

My fingers trail down your back lightly. "Really, you want to try?? I guess today's my lucky day... and I feel so honoured that you would trust me with this, I know what a big deal it is. Thank you…" I kiss you gently.

"I know I can't hold a candle to you, but - I would love to do this with you, Jim."

I gaze at you, feeling so moved that you would surrender your precious control to me.

"And I'll make it good for you, baby..." I whisper in your ear, and kiss your hair.

 

 

_"Of course I want to try - I'm always interested in a good experiment - haven't you worked that out by now? It's just that when we used to do such things, I had so many *rules* I needed to abide by to keep in control... I'm eager to see what will happen if I can let go of that for a bit._

_And if it makes you happy - I'm even *more* keen to try it. Worst case is I won't like it - well, then we know. I know I can trust you completely, I know I can release control to you - I've had a few tastes along the way - now I'd quite like to see if I'd be able to do so in a sustained manner, for an entire evening... and to be honest, I'm *really* curious to see what you'll come up with. And quite eager to experience it..._

_And I know you'll make it good for me, Tiger... " I grin. "Because if you don't, this is going to be cut short and never repeated... so no pressure there then..."_

_I kiss you deeply, mentally gear myself up - this is a big deal indeed, but I'm determined to give it an honest try now..._

_I move my mouth to your ear, whisper, "How do you want me?"_

 

 

Oh, _right now_ … this is happening right now?? I fight back panic as I feel my brain freeze up... How do you manage to be a control freak even when you're ceding control?? And why'd you have to say the thing about this never being repeated if it's not good for you? Yeah, no pressure _at all_ , Jim...

It's as if an amateur chef were dating a professional who was in charge of all the meals... and then the professional one day says, 'Why don't you make dinner tonight, sweetheart? And if it's not good enough, I won't finish my meal... and you'll never cook in this house again... no pressure, haha!'

And why am I wasting time thinking of analogies for myself?? You're waiting for an answer!!

"How do I want you... that's a very good question, baby..." I say in a lazy voice as I look you up and down.

"Why don't you start by removing these?" I pluck at your shirt. "Clothing is so over-rated, isn't it?"

 

 

_All of a sudden I am quite turned on. How is that? It’s you... you are so fucking hot, and somehow seeing a new side of you... one where you are in control... makes you even hotter. You’re so strong, so competent, and I only ever let that side of you come out aimed at others, under my control._

_Seeing you like this... is like seeing you in an entirely new light; this is a Sebastian I haven’t explored yet... no wonder I’m getting excited. It’s like having a new lover, except it’s still my Tiger. And I always *love* doing something new..._

_I stare into your eyes, indubitably hungrily, as I peel off my shirt, then my shorts and pants, and stand before you naked._

 

 

Desire burns through me, catching me off guard. I step towards you, devouring your body with my eyes. It’s not like I haven’t seen your naked body countless times. But _this is different_... oh _fuck_ , is this different...

I move my hands down your chest and abdomen... down your thighs and up again... then I gently take your cock in my hand, and move down to hold your balls.

“Oh... this is going to be such a pleasure, my love...” I murmur, gazing into your eyes. “Go into the bedroom, lie down and wait for me.”

 

 

_Fuck, your touch is electrifying... my cock is already showing definite interest._

_I feel the expected indignation when you tell me what to do - but it quickly morphs into a frisson of excitement._

_I sneak a quick kiss on the corner of your mouth, and walk into the villa, go up the stairs, to the bed we left quite recently. I pull the duvet straight, lie down on top of it._

_Now what does one do?_

_One waits for Tiger, as instructed._

_Really? That seems a bit boring._

_How often do you make him do this?_

_True... it’s exciting to know he’s waiting for me, ready for me whenever I choose..._

_OK, so that’s what I do... lie here, ready for my Sebastian..._

_This is ridiculous! I’m too important for this._

_Interesting... what important stuff have you got to do that means you can’t wait for Sebastian?_

_I don’t wait for people. People wait for me._

_Yes, quite. And now *you* are waiting for the *one* man who deserves that..._

_He does, yes... and he is awfully hot when he gives orders..._

_Isn’t he just... So just lie here, relax, and wait for your gorgeous husband and his pleasure._

 

 

I head upstairs, your laptop under my arm, and carrying two drinks.

Am I really going to do this? I knock back some of my whisky.

Yes - _we're_ really going to do this. And if you aren't into it, you'll tell me so... we'll have our usual mind-blowing sex and that will be that...

I see you lying naked on the bed, and my eyes light up. You look tense and intrigued.

I grin at you and hand you your rum and coke. You sip it and watch curiously as I open up the laptop, tap a few keystrokes, and set it up on the bed.

"I'm not going to tie you up for the moment. Or hurt you... for the moment. I'm going to be downstairs, telling you what to do and watching you on camera. You'll be able to see me, too. We're going to have a fun little conversation, you and I - telling each other what we want each other to do. Only, I'm the one in control. If you're very good and you do what I say, then I'll give you what you want. If you don't do as I say ... well... then I'll just have to decide a suitable punishment for your wilfulness. Are you ready to play, baby?" I lock eyes with you and smile seductively.

 

 

_I hear your footsteps on the stairs, and I feel a small shiver of excitement. You do look pleased as you walk in - why did you bring my laptop? Are we going to watch porn? Why did I tell you my password anyway? Oh yes, part of the no secrets from each other thing..._

_I take a sip as you open the thing up and tell me what's going to happen._

_*Ooooh*... intriguing! I could have thought this up myself - but I didn't. You're making quite a good dominant, honey..._

_And that smile - rawr. Can I ravage you here and now and then get back to our scheduled programme?_

_I guess not... too bad._

_I grin at you. "You know I *love* playing games... especially with hot soldiers like you. I'll be good for you, honey..." I sit up and kiss you._

 

 

I kiss you back and my tongue slips into your mouth. "I know you will, baby..." I whisper darkly. My hands cup your sweet arse and I dig my fingers into your luscious cheeks. I make a noise in my throat, then pull away from you, breathing hard.

"Oh, no... not _yet_... where would be the fun in that, you minx?" I kiss you and tug on your bottom lip with my teeth. "You'll get more if you do as you're told..."

I walk over to the closet, and drag a suitcase over to the bed.

"I may be asking you to use something from here... we'll see what comes to me." I wink, and walk out into the hall.

I lean into the room and run my hand along the door frame. "I'll see you soon, my dark angel..."

And I turn and walk downstairs.

 

 

_That embrace was *hot* - I'm left panting, my eyes glued to yours, which are large and dark. For a moment I think you're going to pounce me, but no - you drag yourself away and leave me - and I feel bereft, even though you're just going to be downstairs. I like the idea of this game, but I do long to have your body back here with me on the bed._

_I look at the laptop and a Skype call comes up. I pick up, am treated to your wide grin. God, somehow you look just as hot on a screen as in real life..._

_"Alright, my Tiger, and temporary lord and master... how may I entertain you today?"_

 

 

“Mmm... where to begin. Why don’t you sit kneeling, with your thighs apart. I want to see that beautiful cock of yours, front and centre...” I watch you on the screen positioning yourself, and I just barely manage to keep my mouth from falling open. _Holy fuck_ , this is already so hot...

“Damn, baby... you are fucking gorgeous, you know that...?” I purr. “Is there something you’d like me to do?”

 

 

_"Return the favour - take off your top, free that erection that's straining your shorts - make me see how I excite you..." I reply._

_"Remember how we used to do this when one of us was away? How we'd watch each other masturbate on Skype... tell each other dirty stories... not how much we missed each other, of course, back then we were still hardened criminals and not soppy love birds, but it was there between the lines, I realize now... and that time the *fucking* internet kept cutting out when you were in Rome... talk about coitus interruptus!"_

_You take off your top - is it me, or does your torso look even more impressive when watched on screen - and then your magnificent cock is revealed... I realize I'm licking my lips._

 

 

I slide off my clothes, grinning at the screen. “Baby... I remember every single fucking dirty call we made, they’re burned into my neurons. There are probably scorch marks on my brain from that time we were texting each other while you were in a business meeting in Geneva - and you were getting so frustrated, because I kept texting you tawdry pictures and giving you an erection under the table... and then you just went with it, and told me to do the sluttiest things and send you videos...” I laughed. “You kept them all, didn’t you...”

 

 

_"Of course I did. As well as the recordings from the Skype conversations. How do you think I achieved orgasm when you weren't available for a chat?" I grin._

_"So, my dirty caller... anything else you desire from me?"_

 

 

“Oh honey... you know we’re just getting started... I want you to put your dominant hand on your cock but don’t move it yet.” I watch intently as you do. “Mmm. Very nice. Can you wet your finger a little and rub your nipple for me?”

 

 

_I wet the finger of my non-dominant hand - I did chuckle a little at your terminology - and rub it on my nipple. That feels nice..._

_"Mmm... can you do the same, but trace your wet finger along your cock, like I was giving it a good lick, from bottom to top?"_

 

 

I chuckle. “I’ll do just that...”

I watch you as I lick my finger and drag it along my cock.

“It doesn’t hold a candle to being licked by you... but still... very nice...”

I tilt my head. “Stroke your cock for me... very slowly.”

 

 

_I can't seem to stop licking my lips... interesting, I'm sure, if I would have any inclination to stop to analyse it. But I have no time - I have a command to obey. Interesting feeling..._

_I move my left hand slowly up my cock, then stroke it down - only touching it lightly, but it makes it harder nonetheless - my breath getting even faster –_

 

 

I watch, feeling light-headed. Jesus... get it together, Seb...

“Stop.” I say, firmly. “Reach into the suitcase and get those nipple clamps you like using on me... get your other nipple wet too, and then slide them on, baby...”

 

 

_Ooh... nasty. I'm not a masochist... and where there's some delight in feeling you inflict pain upon me, feeling your strength; putting little nasty instruments on myself is something else entirely..._

_I look in the suitcase, find the clamps exactly where I put them, of course, I'm so fucking neat, and take them out._

_Damn. I'm not going to enjoy this, am I? I can block out pain, but that means blocking out *everything*, and that is the opposite of what I'm after. So, experience pain it is..._

_I lick my finger and thumb, wet my other nipple, then put the first clamp on. *Damn*... it's already fucking nasty, and these things get worse over time... fuck Sebastian, what do I do to you?_

_You're looking at me intently through the camera, and I take the second one, put it on my other nipple - ouch._

_I breathe, in and out._

_I can take this..._

 

 

I watch you closely. Oh, you are not enjoying this... my poor Kitten looks ornery. Well, as much as it would make a point, I want you to enjoy yourself too... especially if I want to be able to do this again. I’m _very_ aware that this position is temporary.

I wait a moment, watching you breathe through the pain.

“All right, baby... take them off. I’ll soothe those nipples for you when I see you, don’t you worry... you’re _so_ good, let me do something for you now...”

 

 

_Aw you're so much more merciful than I am! Bless you my sweet Tiger..._

_I gasp when I undo the mean little clamps and put them back in their little container. I regard you with renewed awe... I keep these on you for a long time. I even pull on them - take them off and put them back on - fucking hell Tiger. You do go through hell for me... god I love you._

_"You're amazing, Tiger... I can't wait to have you here... feel your hands on me, your warm body all around me..._

_Flex your muscles for me, honey... let me see the strength in that amazing body of yours..."_

 

 

I _am_ amazing, aren’t I... I’m glad you see it, Kitten!!

I feel swamped by affection for you. This is not exactly how I expected things to go, but I’m enjoying myself and I like being able to boss you around.

I grin at your request. You always were a fan of my muscles... and I love to show them off to you. I think back to the times I was unnecessarily shirtless in the apartment, reading, making breakfast, working on my laptop, all so I could feel your eyes on me. It wouldn’t take long for you to drag me into the bedroom, or the sofa, or even across the kitchen counter. You must have been aware of what I was doing... but it didn’t stop you from indulging in your desires.

I hold my arms in front of me, flexing. Then I stretch my arms back over my head, before slowly turning around. I finish with the classic pose of forearms at a 90-degree angle from biceps. This will give you a nice view of back as well as biceps... I turn and look at you over my shoulder. “Is this to your liking, Kitten?”

 

 

_“*Very* much so, Tiger..."_

_I am practically drooling over here. I want to order you to come upstairs so I can fuck you, but that's not what we're doing tonight, Jim... keep calm... you will be rewarded._

_"God, you're so hot... so strong, so beautiful..." ... and all mine. Oh no, can't say that now. It's hard to cut the habit of a lifetime..._

_"What would you like me to do for you? I'm all yours tonight... use me however you want."_

_That's better._

 

 

Desire floods through me. _Use me however you want_?? Jesus, I actually felt myself starting to rise, so I could run upstairs and throw you down to fuck you. I thought it would be sweet torment for you knowing we were in the same house and not touching each other, but I didn’t think about how it would affect _me_...

“Mmm. Why don’t you lie back, get comfortable... just make sure I can still see your face. Very nice... Your hand has been still long enough, Kitten... you can stroke that gorgeous cock for me. But go slow...”

 

 

_I lie back onto the pillows, look at the laptop parked between my legs, slowly stroke my cock, which is twitching..._

_"I'm longing for you Tiger... as is my cock. See how hard you make me, and you're not even here... wouldn't you prefer to be here and use my body?"_

_Is manipulation banned too when you're the submissive party? So many questions I've never thought about..._

 

 

My cock twitches in response to your words, and you look smugly into the camera. “Ooh - not playing fair, Kitten. Spread your legs wider. Now stop moving your hand.” I shake my head. “You are so fucking beautiful... What would you like me to do?”

 

 

_“Come up here... show me how strong you are. Kiss me possessively as you push my wrists down onto the bed, immobilizing me... rubbing your hard cock against mine... make me moan with longing for you... and then decide if you want to fuck me first to let off some steam before you tie me down and thrash me, or the other way round..._

_But you decide, of course...”_

 

 

My mouth drops open as I listen to you speak. I close my eyes, feeling heat surging through my limbs. My cock gets swollen and unbelievably hard. My muscles tremble with effort to keep me on the chair.

“Oh, you little fucker... “ I mutter.

My eyes fly open and I slam the lid of the laptop down before storming to the stairs. Of course, you would manage to take over my game with only a few words...

“You’re gonna get what you asked for, Kitten,” I shout as I walk purposefully towards the bedroom. “Let’s see if you’ll want what you’re gonna get...”

A thrill moves through me as I stalk towards the door like a predator. I burst in and see you lying there with glittering eyes, your hand resting on your cock.

“Come to me, my Kitten...” I growl softly.

 

 

_I can’t help but get a huge grin on my face as I see you smash down the laptop and hear your footsteps on the stairs, with your delicious threats..._

_Ah, Tiger... I’m so sorry, I’m really not good at letting you be in control, am I?_

_Manipulation is just part of who I am... I’ll be a good Kitten for you now, I promise... or well... I’ll try._

_And there you are, my magnificent Tiger, looking every little bit like a hungry predator who’s cornered his prey._

_I get up and strut towards you, licking my lips._

 

 

“Such a pretty Kitten, looking so pleased with himself...” I say gruffly. I reach out and pull you towards me. I kiss you hard, digging my fingers into your back. My tongue claims your mouth and I groan against your lips.

“Fuck... well, now you’ve done it, baby...”

I pick you up, carry you over to the bed and throw you down on it.

“ _Yes_ , I need to let off some steam... thank you for your helpful suggestion...”

I crawl over you like a cat, and stare down at you, my hands on either side of your head.

“My beautiful, clever Kitten... you’re _mine_... and tonight I’m going to show you just that...”

I kiss you hungrily, my cock rubbing against yours. “What do you think of that, my sweet thing?”

 

 

_*Yes*... that’s my Tiger... lifting me up and throwing me onto the bed like I weigh nothing._

_Hearing you say I’m yours sounds unexpectedly hot... I smile up at you._

_“I think you’re a lot of talk... show, don’t tell... show me what you can do, Tiger...”_

_I’m *really* not cut out for this submissive stuff, am I?_

 

 

I throw back my head and laugh. “Is that what you think; I’m going to talk at you all night? You are sorely mistaken, baby...”

I devour your lips, and stroke your cock. “Fuck... you feel delicious... good thing I can do whatever I want, being so strong and in charge... don’t worry, Kitten. I’ll show you what I mean...”

 

 

_Mmm, yes, Tiger, that is more like it... I love feeling your strength, your power, your skilled body..._

_... and I love you stroking my cock... I moan at your dexterous hands caressing me - and hear a little mew when you stop. Was that me?!_

 

 

I grin at your adorable noise. “Oh, we don’t want to get too excited yet, do we? I would love to feel your lips on my cock, gorgeous... if you would indulge me, my darling...”

 

 

_"Certainly, my dear..." I manage to draw my dignity back - well, *some* dignity at least..._

_"I would love to..." I lick my lips again - there's been an awful lot of lip-licking going on. But then how could I not, with such a delectable husband unleashed..._

_And I do love sucking your cock. It's a gorgeous cock, and you make such *delightful* noises when I bestow my attentions upon it..._

_You sit back, I get up onto my knees and bend towards my delicious prize, kiss it lovingly, slowly opening my lips, letting my tongue come into play, circling quickly around your tip..._

 

 

As you get to work on my cock, I have one hand behind my head as I lean against the headboard... one hand lightly on your hair, caressing... and your mouth on me, doing that magic you do with your lips and tongue...

Oh fuck... It’s good to be the King, even for one night... (granted by the Emperor’s generosity, I remind myself, over and over)

I find myself moaning as I feel your lips stroking up and down, and my fingers tighten in your hair. I gently lift your head off my cock, and smile at you.

“That feels fucking amazing, baby... But I don’t want to get too carried away. After all, you dropped some very enticing images in my head, and got me all hot and bothered... my sweet serpent, coiled around the tree... flicking your honeyed tongue, and whispering in my ear to give in, _give in_... Well, I hereby succumb to your luscious temptation...”

I beckon you with my finger. “Get your sweet arse over here, my dark angel...”

 

 

_I'm disappointed when I'm callously torn from my coveted prize, but your words sound promising... Succumbing to my luscious temptations, are you?_

_I move up to you, embrace you, kiss your delicious mouth. "What can I do for you, mighty Tiger?"_

 

 

I flash a flirtatious smile at you and caress your cheek. "Oh, where to begin... We are going to experience such pleasure tonight, you and I... and some pain, too... But first-" I yank you to me, hold you against my chest in the cage of my arms. "There were quite a few suggestions coming out of that mouth..." I say playfully, pressing your bottom lip with my finger. "Someone was being a _wilful_ kitten... not that I mind a little wilfulness... but there _are_ consequences..." I slide my finger into your mouth, and gaze at you intently as you suck it seductively.

I grin. "But there's plenty of time for that later..."

I flip you over so you're lying down, and I press my pelvis against yours.

"I believe one of your helpful suggestions was to use you... now what could I want to do with this beautiful body..."

With an easy smile, I raise your legs onto my chest and reach for the lube on the nightstand.

I squirt out some lube and slide one slippery finger into you, then two... then I scissor my fingers inside you before I do a slow circling motion with my wrist.

When I feel your muscles surrendering to me, I slowly guide the head of my cock to your entrance.

"Mmm... Kitten..." I breathe. "I'll have to make sure you stay hydrated... It's going to be a _long night_..."

Slowly, very slowly, I begin my advance into your body.

 

 

_Wilful Kitten, am I? Well, fair enough - it seems to get me what I want, which is a hot hot Tiger._

_I moan as I feel you enter me - felt so often, so good... but it does feel different now you are in charge._

_I swore I’d never let anyone else take charge of my body again... and I haven’t, not really, if I order you to stop you will..._

_But I won’t. Because I can relinquish control, apparently, in very specific circumstances - and you are that circumstance._

_This is a big thing for me - I won’t have surgery under anaesthetic. I hate even having to sleep - and I don’t think you have ever grasped quite how big a deal it was for me to let you sleep in my room. Helpless and unconscious in front of another? But that in itself was a logical follow-up to the whole bodyguard deal - needing someone *else* to guard me. I’d got so big that I alone was not enough any more... the whole thing of having to get a bodyguard who was always *with* me was a *huge* issue. I think I’d have killed anyone else within the first week… I was very lucky to find you._

_Incredibly lucky, as it turns out... because here you are pulling off yet another miracle... dominating Jim Moriarty, and having him enjoy it..._

_Tiger, my miracle man..._

 

 

We don’t do a lot of slow-fucking... trying it the night you sang to me in the kitchen was a big deal, and it didn’t last very long...

I have always loved it... and based on previous partner’s responses, I’m _fucking_ good at it. But I certainly wouldn’t have attempted it with you for most of our relationship... and even in the last couple of weeks, it’s not been a regular feature in our sex life. I’m realizing now I want to bring it in more... there’s nothing like it. Losing myself in the rhythm, the movements, losing myself in _fuck_...

Especially with the one person who has turned me on more than anyone else on the planet.

I wonder if you’re surprised, if you pictured me going all fast and furious on you... that’s fun too, but we do that a lot. I want _this_...

I look down at you through half-closed eyes, breathing deeply as I rock against you slowly.

“Oh my fucking god...” I groan, pulling your hips up against mine. “You feel so good on my cock, my angel... my sweet thing... my Kitten...”

Yeah, it’s probably clear to you by now I won’t be dominating like James Moriarty does... this Tiger’s going to do it his own way... and enjoy the fuck out of this night.

 

 

_Mmmm... Tiger likes it slow... and why not, he's a romantic boy..._

_And it's not like I've given that a lot of room to come out in the past - any thought of romanticism was anathema, *especially* with you._

_It's not quite what I'd expected from your first attempt at domination - but hey, it's your party, and you can do whatever you want... that's the point._

_And it's good... feeling you inside me is always good, but this slow, sensuous rhythm is very pleasing... it gives one the time to slowly sink deeply into the spell of the fuck... looking into your lidded sapphire-blue eyes, looking at me with such lust, longing, and love..._

_"I love you, Tiger..." I purr._

 

 

"I love you too, baby..." I murmur, and caress your face.

I close my eyes and lose myself in you, your body, your sounds...

My hands are roaming over your chest, your abdomen, your cock...

"Oh Jesus..." I moan... "I just want to stay here forever... Can I stay inside you forever?"

I need to be closer to you, still - I pull out, I slide your legs down so they're bent and pressed against my chest...

I push in, pause, grind against you, push out...

When I'm buried in you to the hilt, I stop so I can _feel_ it... feel _you_ trembling against me.

rub against you, mmm, rub against that sweet spot, make you moan...

pull out, push back in, lean in and kiss you lightly, tease you with my tongue...

"Jim..." I groan, rocking against you harder... "Oh god, Jim...”

 

 

_Yes... beautiful Sebastian, beautiful Tiger, beautiful husband... I am your god, Jim..._

_You are all over me, inside me, and I feel my body relaxing in your grasp, my mind relaxing more and more, as I'm getting used to the not being in control... The marvel of this not being in control is that I don't have to *think* all the time, don't have to plan, to plot, to foresee, to strategize... all I have to do is lie here and take what you're giving me, and what you're giving me is no less than perfection - because it is *you*._

_I let go a bit further, relax my muscles, lie back, just *feel*... feel your love, your passion, your gentle moves, enticing pleasure from me in such a sweet way... I could get used to this..._

 

 

I feel shivers moving across my muscles like ripples on the surface of a lake...

"Oh fuck..." I groan loudly. "Not nearly forever... but you feel so damn good, Kitten..."

I hook one of your legs under my arm to move into you deeper. "Oh _god_..." I murmur as I go harder and faster. "Babe, you have the _fucking_ hottest arse..." I grip said arse and pull it firmly back and forth on my cock.

Ecstasy has been building higher and higher, until it finally crests and spills over into you. Gasping, I come inside you in shuddering spurts.

"Oh... baby..." I murmur. "You're fucking amazing..."

Your leg is still hooked over my arm. My fingers are still digging into your luscious behind. I can't seem to let go or move, but I force myself to ease your leg down. Then I slowly pull out, and curl myself around you.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you in a bit..." I say drowsily. "If you're a very good Kitten..."

 


	2. Fucking, Booze, Food, and Sleep

_You're coming inside me... against all the rules that I come first... and it's luscious. Your face contorting as you fill me up, the most beautiful sight in the world, a Tiger face screwed up in ecstasy._

_Panting, slowly, you come down from your high and cuddle up to me, promising me my own release if I'm a... good Kitten?!_

_“Is there a limit to how far one can go in this domination lark? I mean, fucking, thrashing, tying down... but 'good Kitten'!?" I grin, turning over to snuggle up to you. I am not in a hurry to have my own petit mort, I'm quite happy in this slow, sweet, hazy mood... almost as if I'd taken a tranquillizer or something, a pleasant one that makes everything soft and rosy and full of Tiger... and rather horny, but in a quiet lazy way._

 

 

"Fuck off, my darling..." I grin back at you. "Like I ever set limits with you? You could take a lesson from me, I'm a _spectacular_ sub. You on the other hand are being _terribly_ mouthy and wilful... and you better believe I'm keeping track so I can take it out on your arse later, beautiful..." I reach my arm down to give your arse a slow sensuous squeeze, and then I deliver a sharp smack.

" _Ohh_..." I gaze at you, smiling. "That was _nice_... Maybe I need less recovery time than I thought..."

 

 

_Mmm? Spanking, is it? Not something I usually indulge in - a bit too gentle for my personal tastes - besides, a small guy spanking a big guy would look ridiculous - but you're big and strong, and that might actually be quite pleasant..._

_mind you, I think in my current state of mind I'd find anything you chose to do pleasant..._

_I wiggle closer to you, keen to find out whether you are interested in pursuing this particular train of action._

 

 

I watch you closely as I fondle your arse. This probably seems so tame for you... but I would love to go deeper than we normally do, so I can wring every bit of pleasure and ecstasy from your body that I can. I want to take you to the edge and beyond... I have no idea if I’ll be successful... and I’m concerned I’m risking your disappointment by not doing what you’re used to... but if I only get one shot at this, then - I want to do what I want, so I’ll have no regrets.

“Let’s go out to the balcony, baby - we can feel a nice ocean breeze while I’m working you over...” I wink at you, and paw through the suitcase. “Go on out... I’ll join you in a moment.”

 

 

_Ohhh, what are you planning, you delicious devil? I kiss your cheek, walk out onto the balcony. The sun, if it were out, would be behind the house, nearly behind the horizon. The clouds are darker than they were earlier, as is the sea. It's still warm though, and I enjoy the very slight breeze on my sweaty skin._

_My cock stands firmly erect, reminding me that I've been handsomely fucked but have not been relieved myself yet. I remember I used to enjoy keeping you in this state sometimes... you're not going to do that to me, are you? The thought is... vaguely exciting in an 'oooh, that's so dominant' way, but I really don't think I would actually enjoy the experience..._

_But you did mention working me over... what does that mean, Tiger?_

_I find I enjoy the anticipation, not knowing what is going to happen, what you are planning... but knowing I don't get a say in it. Interesting... I put it into the mind map, the area marked 'Tiger - X-rated'. It's a large and *very* pleasant area, dark as it may be... though there are some corners that I don't dare look into, where memories lurk that make me want to cry, or rage, or hurt the person responsible, who, unfortunately, is me._

_I turn my thoughts away from there - not now, Moriarty. You're about to experience a newly opened section of this area - Dominant Tiger, formerly kept well-guarded behind barbed-wire fences, only now opened to be explored..._

_I turn as I hear your footsteps approach._

 

 

I walk out onto the balcony in my leather biker trousers, carrying a black plastic bag. You look at me questioningly.

“You’re not the only one who buys things, darling...” I give you a mysterious smile.

“Why don’t you stand in between the posts... I’ve installed hooks for just such an occasion. Although I did assume it would be me being strung up...” I flash you a smile, and pull leather restraints out of the bag along with long cords to attach your wrists to the hooks.

 

 

_You're wearing your leather trousers... oh god..._

_You... 've been buying toys? Oh, you naughty Tiger... I'm enjoying this new, pro-active side of you..._

_I walk to the middle of the balcony, stand still, and stretch my arms out to either side._

 

 

You’re looking hungrily at my leather trousers... I guess that was the right choice.

I look at you standing silently with arms out, trusting me... I feel swamped with love and desire for you. I let my hand caress your chest as I move past you. Then I get to work, stretching up to attach hooks to cords, cords to restraints...

I stand in front of you, admiring my work.

“Jesus, you’re fucking hot...” I breathe. We lock eyes, and I place my hand on your cheek.

“So you know if there’s anything you don’t like or that makes you feel uncomfortable... just tell me. I can cool it with the ‘good kitten, bad kitten’ business...” I grin at you. “but you know I’ll be thinking it... now, what am I missing?” I pull a leather blindfold out of the bag, and hold it in front of your face. “See you on the other side, baby...” I say softly.

I fasten the blindfold around your head.

 

 

_I know. I know, Tiger, and that's the only reason this is happening... It's really not my style, letting myself be tied up, immobilized, made vulnerable... it's scaring me, a bit. I won't admit this, even to you - but it is. It was different the other day, somehow - I needed to let go, to be hurt, and I *asked* you to do it. This is - completely handing over control and though intellectually I *know* that you're not going to do anything I don't want, that you'll stop the moment I tell you to, that it's *you*, the man I trust with my life... the actual giving over, being tied, being blindfolded... it does make my heart rate rise. On the other hand, I *do* find this exciting; it's entirely new territory, new sensations, new explorations... and I know all you're going to do to me is going to be pleasurable._

_*But you're tied. You can't defend yourself.*_

_Come on. When have I ever needed more than my voice to defend myself? Besides, this is *Sebastian* - he could overwhelm me without tying me down any time he chose. It's really not that big a deal... just breathe, Jim. Just relax... relax and enjoy what your Tiger has in store for you..._

 

 

I’m watching you closely. Now that you’re blindfolded, the smile slides off my face. There’s a tension and a slight trembling in your muscles that is not going unnoticed. The last thing I want is for you to feel re-traumatized by a sex game.

“Jim, darling –“ I whisper, stroking your shoulder. “You know you’re safe, right? If you want me to set you free, if you need to take a break, you just say the word. We can be downstairs watching Game of Thrones and ordering food within minutes. Or you can take over and fuck me good and hard. I have the reigns only as long as you want me to... but if you _want_ me to... You may just like it...” I kiss you on the lips longingly. “Do you want me to continue, baby?”

 

 

_Oh, my darling Tiger... You know me so incredibly well..._

_Also, I'm losing my fucking poker face where you are concerned. Oh well._

_Anyway, this is ridiculous. I've been tied up before and always remained stoic. Why am I fretting now?_

Because this is different... before, you were fully the unfeeling psychopath in his ivory tower... no one could get to you, no matter what they did... now you do have feelings, and you're remembering things that happened when you were restrained, things that made you feel, that you suppressed for years... that's why this is scary. Because if they’d done any of the things to you that they did to you when you were restrained without you being safely inside your many layers of armour... _I shudder._

_Right, that makes sense. And - that also helps to make this less scary. Now I've identified the fear, I can see how it does *not* apply to this situation. Tiger is not going to torture me, not going to rape me, not going to kill me. And he will kill anyone who might come close and try. I'm as safe as can be, much safer than this morning in town._

_And - I *do* want to try this out, explore this new and potentially exciting territory... with my beloved and trusted husband..._

_"I know, Tiger... I know I'm safer with you than anywhere else. It's just - it was a bit disconcerting, being tied down, for a moment... but I do want this. I want to explore this with you. You're... fucking hot when you're dominating, Commander Moran. And I long to let go of my constant need for control, because it feels really, really good when I do. And I completely trust you, Tiger. I know that if I were to give the smallest peep of discomfort, you would have me untied and safe in your arms in a second._

_But trust me - I'm not uncomfortable. And I'm *very* keen to find out what you have in store for me... Sir."_

 

 

I can’t help it -

When I hear ‘Commander Moran’, I stand taller. My shoulders go back, my muscles get hard...

When you say, "You're fucking hot when you're dominating", my heart beats faster, and heat rises to my skin.

And then - when I hear “Sir” -

my eyes pop.

my mouth falls open.

I’m so glad I put the blindfold on you...

It takes me a moment to pull myself together, and when I look back up at you, I’m Commander Moran, I’m a prowling Tiger, and I’m fucking Sir.

I lean in to your ear, and I whisper, “I’m so glad to hear you say that, Jim... I’m so looking forward to this...”

My tongue darts out and licks your earlobe. I grin when I see you shiver.

“Shall we begin?” I purr.

I circle around you.

I move my hands slowly down your back and cup your arse.

“So beautiful,” I breathe.

I draw a black wooden paddle out of the bag, and gently rub it against your bottom.

“I’d love to make it red...”

I smack it hard against your arse - the sound is glorious.

“Mmm... if it’s all right with you, I’ll have some more...” I purr.

 

 

_Your words in my ear, your tongue - not knowing what's going to happen - it all makes me hypersensitive, and I feel gooseflesh all over my body, a slight tremble running from my neck down my spine._

_I feel and hear you walk around me, and you grab my arse. Yes - that's what you were doing earlier, what you talked about earlier - it feels so responsive now, extremely aware of every movement, every touch; I can feel every one of your fingers and I long for *more*, I long for the intensity of sensation that I know you have planned for me -_

_The bag rustles - what have you got for me? What did you buy, expecting it to be used on you, desiring to feel it?_

_A wooden paddle... mmm... I think I like the idea..._

_*OW*! Alright, that stings... I think I gasped a bit there - wasn't quite expecting it yet... but the sting quickly subsides in a glow that permeates from my arse through to... other areas of my body... hmmmm..._

_You are purring that you'll have some more, and I find myself wantonly pushing my arse back towards you, willing you to smack again, to rekindle that glow._

 

 

I lean in to see how you're responding. I may not dominate as a rule, but I know it's a dance - and I may be leading, but I need to be in tune with my partner's body, thoughts and emotions. Especially given your past.

You seem curious...

and then surprised at the pain... _Oh, sweetheart_... I restrain myself from chuckling.

and then responsive...

and then _very_ responsive, as your arse moves towards me.

Mmm. _Jim_...

I press the paddle to your arse, make a gentle circling motion, and _thwack_... the paddle comes down hard on your flesh.

Oh Jesus, that sound... the redness spreading across your skin... the feeling of your cheek in my hand...

Get it together, Moran - _Moriarty_.

As I fondle your arse, I lean in to your back and kiss your neck.

The paddle moves gently up your hamstring.

You're quivering. I smile as I press my lips to your neck just underneath your hair.

"This arse is so delectable," I whisper. "And it's _mine_..."

 

 

_Ow! - mmm..._

_This is an interesting sequence of sensations. First there is the pain, which makes one's body want to flinch and move away from the source. Then there is a rapidly spreading glow that soon becomes quite pleasant... and reverberates through to my cock and makes it stir... and that is only encouraged by your luscious fondling of the afflicted spot, rekindling the sweet fire..._

_You're moving against me in those trousers and feeling the cool leather against my hot skin does quite unspeakable things to my insides. I had wondered why you'd put those on, if you were going to blindfold me... but now I get it - it feels decadently delicious... the contrast with your warm chest against my back... and then the cold hard wood stroking my thigh - your hot breath in my neck - so many *sensations*!_

_I'm glad I'm exploring this - I feel I've been missing out on a whole range of experience. Of course - when exploring *feelings*, one must not forget the physical ones..._

_Yes, my arse is quite delectable, thank you for pointing it out... and it's yours Tiger... for now... I almost smile at my brain's prim caveat. Yes, brain, for now..._

_"Yours..." I breathe._

 

 

I smile at your response. _Sir_... _Yours_... oh, _Jim_...

Once again I drag the paddle up the back of your thigh, making a dull scraping sound against your skin.

"I'm so glad we agree..." I murmur, cupping your chin with my hand, and turning your head so I can kiss you deeply. I slide my tongue into your mouth possessively, and a deep rumbling sounds in my throat.

 

 

_Mmm... deep predatory Tiger kisses... complete with growl._

_I lean my head back, surrendering to your possessive kiss. Yours, Tiger... make me feel it._

 

 

I press my leather-clad pelvis against your luscious rump. My free hand crosses over your cock and presses your hip back against me. I grind my cock against you, holding you firmly in place.

My nose presses into your hair and I breathe in your scent deeply.

Oh god, I'm going into full predator mode, growling, sniffing you...

biting you...

my teeth have sunk into your neck before I realize it.

You suck in your breath and go very still.

I bite and suck at your flesh for a moment, then pull my teeth away with a grunt. I tongue the reddened area within the bite marks.

My hand moves to your cock, and covers it.

"Mine..." I growl.

 

 

_Ohhh, we're going *there*, are we, Tiger? You want to claim ownership of my cock now?_

_Well, I guess - it's not like anyone else will ever get to touch it... But we're not going as far as with your cock, alright? I do like to keep primary ownership, thank you very much. Of both._

_I don't reply, just move back against your delicious leather-clad hips, your cock noticeable even through the stiff leather._

_Is there anything more delectable in this world than a leather-clad Tiger?_

 

 

Grinning, I catch your ear in my teeth. Can't go so far as to agree to that... even for one night? Aww - my sweet little control freak. Let's see if we can melt away some of that control...

I move my hand possessively over your cock, and begin stroke it firmly.

I wait until I feel your breathing shift, and then I move my hips back and smack your arse with the paddle.

I continue to stroke, and move my tongue along the outside of your ear.

 

 

_Hmmm... lovely lovely strokes..._

_It's easier to lose yourself when you're blindfolded, apparently. There's nothing to be scrutinized, so at least that part of the brain is forced to relax._

_And your hands upon me do definitely help... and knowing that what's going to happen is in *your* hands; you're the one who has things planned, meaning that I don't have to think about that either... hm, this submission thing is quite relaxing..._

_*Ow!* Oh yes, there is that aspect... the pain... which, paradoxically, is more relaxing as well. Not when it happens, but the moment after, when everything is nice and warm, and you stroke me, and your breath is coming into my ear, and your tongue circles round it..._

_I moan softly._

 

 

My tongue gently touches inside your ear, and then sweeps down to your neck. I push it hard against the spot where your neck meets your shoulder muscle, and suck on the flesh. Then I move around to your front.

"Oh... I did say I was going to soothe these, didn't I... you didn't like mean little implements on those sweet, sensitive nipples, did you?" I move my hands down to your nipples and pinch gently. Your breath hitches.

"You prefer it when I - " Gently I flick out my tongue and then swirl it around each one.

"Don't you?" I pinch them more firmly, and watch you, smiling.

 

 

_I don't mind it when you pinch them, Tiger... because it's you, here, using your hands on me... so much nicer than impersonal little implements and a voice on the other end of a Skype call... even if you were just a floor away._

_"I prefer you over any of my other toys any day..." I smile._

 

 

“Mmm... that’s sweet,” I murmur, and catch your left nipple in my teeth. I suck and pull gently, with my teeth and then let go quickly. “You’re so _sweet_ ,” I breathe. “I could eat you up with a dollop of cream...” I give the right one the same treatment, taking pleasure in your gasp.

I look up and lick my lips. “Oh no... I’ll have to soothe them all over again...”

I circle each one with my tongue until you’re breathing harder.

“Hmm... where else would you prefer me to a toy?”

I grasp the cheeks of your arse, and slowly ease them open. I raise an eyebrow.

“I think... yes.”

I circle you quickly and drop down to my knees. Slowly my tongue explores your opening, laving it firmly before slipping in and out rhythmically.

One hand grasps your cheek firmly, digging my nails in, and the other returns to stroking your cock. I moan, delighting in taking my pleasure with your body.

“I love having you at my mercy, baby...” I whisper.

 

 

_I love it too, Tiger... it's enchanting to have you all over my body, kissing, licking, biting... never knowing where and what the next thing will be..._

_And then my arse... your tongue tickling and playing - are you going to fuck me again? I mean, it's your choice, of course... but you *just* did, and I'd like to experience some more of this... playing with me that you've been doing... definitely would like to experience some more of this cock stroking..._

 

 

Abruptly I stop, and stand up.

"You're not going to concede to me owning your cock for _one_ evening...? After you told me you wanted me to dominate you? Come now, my sweet..." I purr, and rub the paddle on your behind.

_thwack_

"I can be so accommodating, Kitten..."

_thwack_

"But I would _very much_ like to hear that your cock is mine..."

I rub my hand in a slow circular motion around your cock, and then stop. I lightly tap the paddle against your arse.

"Indulge me, darling?" I growl and slowly lick the back of your neck.

 

 

_Ah... the pain is starting to feel better... so much better... mmm, Tiger..._

_... yours, yes, of course..._

_"Alright then..." I concur. "But be careful with it. I'd like it back in one piece..."_

_I shiver as your tongue moves to my ear and you nip my earlobe._

 

 

I know I asked for it, but I’m still taken aback when you agree.

 _God_... you really just gave me temporary ownership of your cock and your arse. I’ll try not to faint from the shock...

Once again I’m relieved to have put a blindfold on you... A dom looking surprised and delighted probably doesn’t inspire greater depths of submission...

“Oh, sweetheart... leave that up to me. I will take exquisite care of you...”

I return to slowly stroking your cock, and I reach over your shoulder to turn your face towards me. I lean my face over your shoulder, and kiss you hungrily.

“Fuck... you look damn fine tied up, gorgeous...” I murmur.

 

 

_"So do you..." I can't help but grin._

_I'm *really* not cut out for this submission thing, am I..._

_Mind you, you are snarky as hell as well, usually..._

_I have to admit that you *are* taking exquisite care of me indeed... stroking me so wonderfully. My cock is hard and eager, but I will wait patiently to see what you have in mind..._

_Well... kind of patiently..._

 

 

I roll my eyes. Little shit...

"Oh, I know... but tonight is all about you, angel... "

I stop stroking you, and I'm pleased to hear a little sound of frustration in the back of your throat.

"If it gets to be too much, I may respond well to _please_..." I say, grinning.

I pull my next toy out of the bag - a sensory wheel, sleek and black with a red handle, and nine shiny micro-spiked metal wheels - sharp, but not meant for piercing your pristine skin.

I start at your lower back and roll up and down lightly, delighting as I watch you shiver.

"Good? Where else should we try?" I walk around you, and dig the wheel into your skin above your nipple and swipe down.

 

 

_You'll hear please over your dead body, Sebastian..._

_The bag rustles - what is that? Metal clinking? Oh - some kind of pinwheel? Mmm - that's not too unpleasant..._

_You walk to my front - wait - what are you planning?_

_Oh - that's nasty... I gasp as the sharp pins prick my nipple._

_Still, the sensation sends a ripple through me, that reverberates to my cock... I pant softly._

_I'm sinking deeper and deeper into this soft blackness that occasionally is pierced by something stinging, but mostly is full of a pleasant glow and hot, sweet Tiger..._

 

 

I gently place the paddle on the table. You're slipping slowly into the realm of sweet submission... I had no idea if you would. I wrap one arm around your chest, and kiss your neck - the other arm rolls the sensory wheel up and down your thighs, getting closer and closer to your the tender skin of your inner thighs. I brush the wheel so lightly for the briefest moment along the side of your erect cock, and then look at your face.

"Mmmm? How does it feel?” I whisper.

 

 

_"You feel wonderful, Tiger..." I breathe. I know it's not what you asked, but it is what I feel. Your arm around me, your breath on my neck... I'll never, never get used to how incredibly hot you feel whenever you touch me._

_Your evil wheel is making its way over my thighs and I can't quite decide if it's pleasant or painful or both... and then you touch my cock with it, and again I'm torn - my cock is so eager for touch that *any* sensation is welcome; but a metal stinging wheel is not quite my first choice._

_I relax. I'm in your hands. And I trust you. I know I can trust you completely, even if you're wielding an evil pinwheel. My cock stays proudly erect, I relax in the restraints, lean my head back to give you easier access to my neck._

_"Yours..." I breathe._

 

 

I make a sound deep in my throat. Jesus...

I find myself completely swept away by you, and my cock throbs painfully against my leather trousers.

I throw the sensory wheel at the table, and return to stroking you.

“You little shit...” I groan, pressing my face into your hair and my groin into your arse. “I don’t know if you’re doing this consciously or not - but you’re subverting everything I do. Every fucking thing... you always have to direct _everything_ , one way or another - don’t you...” I laugh darkly.

“Well, you’re going to get what you want, don’t you worry. I can’t deny you for long because your desire is the hottest fucking thing in the world to me... But I can give myself a little something too... if that’s all right with you, darling...” I growl and let go of you so I can pull my trousers off. I throw them to the side, staring at your arse with narrowed eyes.

I unhook your restraints from the hooks and quickly wrap the leather cords around you so your arms are tied to your torso, and your legs are loosely tied together.

I pick you up and carry you inside, place you leaning over the bed - knees on the floor, chest and cheek against the mattress.

There’s enough slackness in the cords that your legs are slightly apart. I slide my arm back snugly around your chest. My other hand grasps your arse.

“You prefer me to toys and implements? I can give you that, baby...” I bring my hand down hard against your cheek. “Fuck... yesss... I’ll give you that...” I breathe. My hand smacks deliciously against the skin of your luscious bottom, and I let out a soft moan.

 

 

_What? I was being all compliant and docile there, Tiger... how am I subverting you? There’s no pleasing some people, is there..._

_I’m being trussed and manhandled into the bedroom, which is kind of hot. Then placed over the bed... hmmm... what’s going to happen here?_

_*Oh*..._

_Yes..._

_That is perfect, Tiger..._

_Yes, I prefer you to toys and implements... you’re sublime, Tiger; sheer bliss in human form._

_This is just exquisite - I’m in submissive enough mood to really enjoy being tied and kneeling over the bed, and for the smacks on my arse to be the perfect mix between ouch and ohhhhh..._

_Your hands are big and calloused, and your arm is strong... it’s harsh enough to make an impact, but not painful, not really._

_Your soft sweet moan makes me shiver - knowing that you are loving this as much as I am, that you enjoy having me at your mercy..._

_Your hand lands again and again, my cock rubbing against the duvet, my mind sinking deeper into the blissful darkness, soft little moans leaving my mouth._

 

 

I slip my cock in between your cheeks and rub it firmly against you.

"There's something about you tied up and bent over..." I say in a rough voice. "Arse all red from my hand... makes me want you so badly... I just fucked your arse a little while ago, and I _need_ it again..."

I reach out to the nightstand for lube. After some exploratory circling with my finger, I pull it out.

"Mmm... you're still nice and relaxed from last time... " I purr. "Shall we?"

My cock prods your opening and slides partly in. Then my hand smacks your arse again.

My eyes widen. "Oh... fuck..."

I push in further, smack again... the impact reverberates throughout your pelvis, vibrating through my cock. You clench your muscle slightly and my cock feels wedged in momentarily, immersed in sensation.

"Jesus Christ..." I breathe, and move in further.

 

 

_You're going to fuck me again? Without letting me come? Hmmm, you're a horny bastard when you're dominant... But yes, I want you, I want to feel you, now I've slipped into submission land... or forayed as far as I am going to, anyway..._

_Hand spanking is not something I've ever indulged in, baring the occasional smack against your arse when I'm giving you a command or when I'm fucking you, but I have to say it's enjoyable... and your cock in my arse is even more so._

_You slide in so easily, like I was made to accommodate you... and you keep slapping me, which seems to delight you..._

_Go ahead Tiger... fuck me, smack me; I'm yours tonight, and I'm loving it._

 

 

I lick your ear and I whisper, "You know how this works - don't come until I say you can..."

I reach around and return to stroking you.

"I like having you tied up and at my mercy..." I breathe. "But I really should have brought that paddle in with us... And I can hardly ask you to go get it, can I?"

I nip your neck playfully. "Hmmm... I'm not quite finished with you yet. After," I decide, and increase my pace. I slide one arm around your chest, and the other hand continues to stroke you firmly.

"There's plenty of time for more fun, baby..." I sink my teeth into your neck.

 

 

_Oh that's not fair... you came not an hour ago, I haven't come in *ages*... and your stroking feels so good, you know *exactly* how to handle me, I've trained you too well._

_I'm being held safely in Tiger's grasp, he's inside me, around me, *biting* me..._

_I moan at the teeth in my neck - I never used to let you mark me normally, only sometimes, after a particularly exciting killing spree, when you'd be in a bloodthirsty mood... I would never admit it, but I loved you in those moods, all predatory, possessive, hungry, all teeth and claws and proprietorial cock... I'd often come out with bite marks and bruises in visible places, disconcerting my other minions, who'd look at you with increased fear and respect in turn... everyone won._

 

 

 _Fuck_ , it feels good to be off the leash once in a while... to let the predator out for a prowl, and drag a willing Kitten back to the den.

My teeth in your neck, my cock in your arse...

I move back and forth inside you, breathing deeply.

Your cock feels good in my hand, you feel primed and ready... but not yet.

I let go, and grasp your hip - and I begin to fuck you good and hard.

"Mmm... Kitten," I groan.

 

 

_I'm being fucked, again, by my beloved horny predatory Tiger... how could I have doubted that if I let you be in charge for an evening I'd be fucked six ways from Sunday. My delicious always-randy husband... You do love fucking me, and it's a treat you got *way* too little Before, so it's only fair that you catch up. And I can't say I have any complaints..._

_I let go in your arms, under your teeth, my hips being gripped tightly, my poor cock neglected for now; you're pounding away, making the most gorgeous Tiger noises; and I'm good here - I don't need to come, not yet, I'm perfectly happy just lying here being used as a vessel for your pleasure._

 

 

My hips piston against you, my cock slams into you, and you moan softly as I do. Mmm... I am so ready to work you over a bit more, all tied up and compliant as you are... the thought is enough to make me groan loudly, and then I'm coming, I'm coming _so hard_ inside you... My body spasms as I hold onto you so tightly. "Oh god... Jim..." I moan, shuddering against you.

I rest my head against your shoulder as my breath steadies.

I make a contented rumbling sound in my throat, and then I kiss your neck, noting the bite marks with satisfaction. I go out to the balcony and return with the paddle.

I grasp your cheeks and squeeze them. "Would you like to come, my sweetheart?"

 

 

_You've come, again... Well done Jim, giving your husband such pleasure... your beautiful, strong, masculine, masterful husband... who you can completely let go to... release all control, all tension, all restraint..._

_I could lie here forever, on my knees, resting on the bed, awaiting your pleasure or pain. It's such a free, sweet feeling, being in someone else's hands, not needing to think, plan, lead..._

_Would I like to come? I'm not that fussed, to be honest... yes, it would be nice, and I am very turned on... but only if it fits in your plans..._

_"If it pleases you, my love..."_

 

 

I chuckle. "You and I are so different, my dear... I can't exactly threaten you with not coming, can I?? Not if you're going to be, 'all right then, my love'... Maybe _I'm_ the wilful sub, after all... and you could teach me a thing or two?" I turn your chin towards me, and I kiss you fiercely. Suddenly I feel so swamped with love for you, so overcome with adoration... it actually feels painful.

"I love you, my angel," I whisper, gazing at you.

Slowly I move back behind you and pick up the paddle.

"It _will_ please me greatly... and so will this."

I bring the paddle down hard on your luscious rump.

"Oh god, _Jim_!" I exclaim. "I'm feeling so _fucking_ pleased, darling..."

 

 

_Of course you are wilful... my beautiful love... "I love you too, my Tiger..."_

_The sensation of the paddle is delicious - painful still, you have a strong arm, but delightful in its reverberation._

 

 

The paddle makes a cracking sound against your cheek, and a rosy flush on your skin.

Your other cheek is given the same treatment.

A couple of weeks ago, I never could have imagined this...

A couple of _days_ ago, I could not have imagined this...

And the thought of my former self seeing you like this renders me speechless...

Naked on your knees...

tied up and unable to move...

Red marks on your arse...

Blindfolded...

There are more toys in the bag, but you seem to have a low tolerance level for the use of implements on your skin...

Maybe I'll just turn them over to you - I'm sure you'd be more than willing to use them on me and I've never said no yet to whatever you've tried on me. Hmm... a stimulating thought.

I bring the paddle down over and over, until your skin is bright red. Oooh - that's going to sting. Poor Jim - between the paddle and my cock, you're going to find it uncomfortable to sit tomorrow. Ah, well - you fucking cut _my foot_ and I'm still limping... so I don't feel at all guilty.

I throw the paddle to the bed, grinning.

I rub my hand over your arse, cupping your cheeks and digging in my nails. My chin is on your shoulder, and I'm pressing my cheek against yours.

"Jim... my Jim... I love you..." I breathe deeply and kiss your ear.

My hand grasps your cock and I stroke.

"But if you come before I tell you to..." I whisper. "Someone's going to bleed, and for once it won't be me."

I look at your face, and smile to myself. "Or is that what we want, Kitten?"

 

 

_No... no, I'll leave the bleeding to you, my love... it is really more your thing. You look so beautiful..._

_Was that only last night, that you hung on that post for me, bleeding for me? Wow..._

_My arse smarts, a deep red glow seems to permeate from there throughout my body, making me feel warm - hot..._

_Your stroking of my cock is sensuous and lovely, and your sweet threats in my ear make me even harder. I don't *think* I'll come before you let me... this is something that's hard for you, isn't it? You are always so very horny, so keen to come... my beautiful randy Tiger. But basking in this lovely glow, my arse throbbing slightly, held by ropes and a blindfold in a restricted peaceful place, having my cock rubbed... I could stay here for hours, my love..._

 

 

I move my nose against your hair, and breathe you in. "Mmm. Maybe not blood..." I whisper.

"God, I could just look at you like this, touch you like this for hours ... naked for me... blindfolded... tied up for me," I breathe. "You're so fucking beautiful, it hurts to look at you sometimes... and I haven't forgotten for a second, for a goddamn second, that you're my dark lord... and before too long it will be me tied to something, being thrashed within an inch of my life, being fucked up the arse, and filled with your semen... _fuck_ , Jim..." I gasp, and wrap my arms around your bound body. "I love what you do to me... but it's pretty sweet to be able to do what I fucking want once in a while..." I say hoarsely, and stand up. I pull you up, throw you over my shoulder and head back to the balcony.

I lean you against one of the posts, unwrap the cords from your torso, and wrap your arms together before stringing them up to the hook. I pull off your blindfold and throw it to the ground. I take your chin in my hand, and gaze at you hungrily.

"So let's not forget - tonight you're _mine_... and I'm not finished with you yet..." I growl, tapping your bottom lip.

I grin, slowly brush your cock with my outstretched fingers and walk away.

 

 

_Yes, Tiger... yours... and loving it._

_Seeing the world again after so long in the velvet blackness of the blindfold is a bit of a shock, but you are so beautiful, with your eyes all big and hungry even though you've just come for the second time. I smile at you - I'm happy, Tiger. You're my magnificent strong soldier, and I'm your plaything for the night._

_I tremble when you stroke my cock - so sensitive - but then you walk away._

_Oh. Now what?_

_I remember that I do that quite a bit - walking away, leaving you tied up, making you wait for me - it's like earlier tonight, Jim. You just sit - well, stand - and wait. He'll be back. He'll take his pleasure. That's all you are tonight - a tool to give him pleasure. So don't worry, Jim... just relax..._

 

 

I return a couple of minutes later with a tray. I lower it to the table, looking at you.

"Thought you might need some refreshment, my darling..."

You look like you were feeling antsy, but I made sure to not stay away too long. I caress your hair and face, noting how your body relaxes in response.

I had arranged for food to be delivered to the house while we were out yesterday - I was looking forward to sampling the assortment of tropical fruit that grows in the coastal regions of Mexico. I take a few slices from the platter of beautifully arranged fruit from the table.

I pop a piece into my mouth, and groan with pleasure. "Mmm... _so much_ better than imported..."

I bring a piece up to your mouth. "Star fruit...?" I ask softly, and slowly slide it past your lips.

I caress your face as you chew.

I try a different slice, sigh with contentment and hold up a piece to your lips.

"Mango, baby?" I whisper.

I slide it into your mouth. As you chew, I rub a mango slice over your nipples, then squeeze it - the juice trickles down over your abdomen

I bend my neck and suck your nipples before dipping down to lick the narrow streams of juice.

I lower the mango and let it drip over your lower abdomen - I watch as rivulets make their way down your pelvis and cock.

"Oh no..." I murmur, looking up at you. "What are we going to do about this?"

 

 

_Mmm - fruits? Well, that is unexpected. Not something I usually employ when I’m dominating you... we’re so different, aren’t we, Tiger?_

_It’s rather delicious though... seeing you enjoy the fruity delights so much, tasting the rich flavour, the simple delight of you stroking my face as I’m enjoying it..._

_Trust you to combine food and sex... two of your favourite things. My lower belly ripples as the juice trickles down._

_“Mmm... you might want to save that juice... it would be a shame to waste it...”_

 

 

I chuckle. " _Shameful_... let me just..." I crouch down on one knee and lustily lick the juice of your cock. Then I tongue the juice from your lower abdomen, before returning to your cock to suck it. I'm hearing delightful soft noises from you, and I stop and stand up.

"What else is there?" I ask cheerily. "I believe these are chokecherries - you should approve of their violent name, anyway..." I try one, and discover they're already pitted.

"Mmm. Good. Tart but sweet. You'll like it - " I hold it against your mouth, and watch you slowly chew.

I bite one in half and rub the juicy red fruit over your nipples and abdomen. I cock my head. "Oh, beautiful - I like that..." I say and rub it over your cock.

"Now what do we need?" I regard you, and reach for the bottle of wine. I take a swig, eyeing you. Then I hold the bottle of red wine to your lips, and watch you take a deep drink. Then I tip the bottle over your chest, dousing you with wine, and move it slowly down over your abdomen and cock.

The scent of red red wine fills the air, and I shake my head. "You look good in red," I quip, before hauling your hips up around my waist and licking wine and chokecherry juice from your chest in long languorous swipes of my tongue.

 

 

_My cock is so sensitive to your touch by now I moan as you’re licking me... *sucking* me... oh god Tiger..._

_No don’t stop... I don’t need more fruit, I need you..._

_The cold wet fruit makes my nipples hard, the wine makes me heady - and then I’m in mid-air feeling your strong hands on my arse, your warm lips and tongue over my chest, trailing sweet paths._

_I’m not sure how efficient this method of drinking wine is, but it feels pleasant, my beloved husband..._

_My husband. I actually married you. You’re mine. For ever. This impressive, gorgeous man._

_I look at you with what I can’t help but realize must be large admiring eyes._

 

 

"I could just devour you," I murmur, pulling on your nipples with my teeth and licking them hard.

I look at you, staring up at me. My hands fondle your arse. I gaze at your wet cock, and within an instant I've lowered you back to the floor and I drop to my knees so I can suck the wine and sweet juice from you.

I moan with pleasure. "You must know it's not all about submission..." I pant. "I just love to have my mouth on you... and that doesn't change when you're the one tied up..." My tongue moves around your cock in lazy circles, then I lick the remaining wine and red juice from your lower abdomen. "I could just do this for hours... should I do this for hours, Jim?" I ask innocently, and press damp kisses all along your cock.

 

 

_I know you love this, Tiger... you love it almost as much as I do. I used to push your head to my cock if I wanted to be sucked off, but all too often I wouldn't need to, because you'd fall to your knees and take me into your mouth every half chance you got... And that *mouth*, Sebastian, that mouth... that mouth alone should secure you a place in heaven, if god has any sense. But chances are I'll have to fight Satan for your attentions... well, he better watch out. I'm not ever willing to give this up..._

_I moan at your kisses. "Yes, please..." Are you thinking I couldn't bear this for hours?_

_Well, you might be right.._

 

 

I look up at you as I suck your cock.

I got a _please_ , I think with delight. But I thought that would be for letting you come, not going for hours...

Oh, Jim... How am _I_ going to have the patience to keep you from coming in my mouth?

Don't go too far, Seb... you'll need to stop soon...

Just a little bit more...

I grasp your arse and moaning, I pull you deeper into my mouth.

 

 

_God - will I be able to hold back if you keep this up? *So* good... your mouth... I hear myself groaning, my fingers grasping aimlessly at empty air. You're *moaning*... the vibrations adding to the delight. How will I ever *not* come when you're doing this? I could force myself, switch off feeling - but that's the last thing I want._

_"Seb... I can't... If you keep this up too long, I won't be able to hold back..."_

_Normally I hate having to admit defeat, but to you it's already lost much of its bitter taste._

 

 

I watch you as you groan and your face strains from effort. You're so goddamn beautiful...

"I should really make you wait for it, Kitten..." I purr, pressing my lips to your cock reverently. "But then I'd just be denying myself what _I_ want..."

Our gazes lock. "Fuck it," I growl. "Come for me, Jim..."

And I shove my mouth over your cock, and suck it hard and deep into my throat.

 

 

_Oh *god*..._

_"*Sebastian*..."_

_Bliss, utter bliss, complete unadulterated bliss -_

_My body starts trembling, sweat drips down my face. My nails dig into the palms of my hands. My eyes are screwed shut, otherworldly sounds are escaping from my throat._

_The shivering gets more pronounced - your hands on my arse, pushing me deeper into the paradise of your throat - I can't - I'm glad I'm tied up, I don't think my knees would be able to hold me -_

_"*Sebastian*..."_

_The name is cut off as my throat is tightened, as I feel myself explode in wave after wave of ecstasy shuddering through me - oh GOD..._

 

 

Oh Jim... I watch your face straining now in ecstasy, your mouth opening as you unleash a torrent of beautiful sounds.

Beautiful sounds and my name...

God... I made this happen.

 _I_ make this happen, I am the _only one_ who leaves you mewling, groaning, gasping...

my beautiful one, my _Jim_...

And through it all, I suck and moan and swallow your delicious seed.

I suck as you tremble and whimper.

I watch you, looking like you want to beg me to stop.

I smile. You don't need to say the words, my beautiful love...

I slide my mouth off you, breathing hard. Then I wrap my arms around your hips, and press my face against your abdomen.

"Mine," I whisper, and close my eyes.

 

 

_Stars circle around me as I lose my breath, lose my vision, lose the strength in my muscles, lose the feeling of anything but the ecstasy in my cock. Surge after surge of orgasm blasts through me and I think I will fall apart, will come undone, will break..._

_I try to moan your name, but nothing but incoherent mewling comes out._

_You *will not* stop... Please Sebastian - but I can't even plead -_

_You look up at me, and smile, deservedly smug. Oh god Sebastian - please - I'm trembling with the sheer effort of existing..._

_'Mine'..._

_God, yes..._

_"Yours, Sebastian..."_

 

 

I sigh in contentment. I feel like I could stay here forever, except my knees and your arms probably won’t be too happy.

I haul myself up and gaze down at you. My hands move caressingly over your arms and I kiss you longingly.

Then I unhook your tied hands, lift you up gently and carry you to the bathroom - where I turn on the shower and once it’s nice and hot, I place you under it.

Humming, I clean off all the stickiness and kiss your nose.

 

 

_You loom into vision, and I only barely have the strength to push my eyelids high enough to look at you. Your lips on mine, your tongue into my mouth, and I open, feeling your tongue exploring, caressing mine..._

_I'm released, and lifted up, and put down inside a bathroom - I'm still only half aware of my surroundings. I was so comfortable, not thinking, just feeling..._

_I'm being placed under warm wetness, washed, cleaned, warmed, caressed..._

_A kiss on my nose - Tiger..._

_I lean against you, resting my head on your strong shoulder._

 

 

Once you're showered and cleaned, I towel you off thoroughly and carry you to the bedroom - where you're cosily bundled into bed.

"I'm going to bring in the fruit platter before the insects devour it. Would you like any more, Kitten? There was also a delivery of catered food and groceries yesterday, if you're hungry..."

 

 

_I’m still bound, so I don’t need to have a say in what happens with me. It’s up to you, my love..._

_I’m bundled into bed like a poorly kitten and I nearly purr. I love you taking care of me... I always loved it. I’d sometimes allow it if I was sick, and you are so good at it... if only I let you..._

_Do I want food? I don’t know... I can’t do decisions..._

_I guess it’s been a while since lunch._

_“Some cheese sandwich or something? Nothing heavy,” I say. I don’t want you to leave for too long..._

 

 

"Some cheese sandwich you shall have," I murmur and kiss you.

I look back at you from the doorway. You're bundled in a white duvet up to your chin, and underneath your arms and legs are bound. I have no idea how long I'll keep this going, but for right now, I'm enjoying you being my captive Kitten. So bound you shall stay.

I flash a flirtatious smile at you and leave.

In the kitchen, I throw together a tray of sandwiches quickly. I climb upstairs, leave the tray on the bed, kiss you, go to the balcony for the fruit platter I had forgotten, put it on the bed, kiss you again.

Then I help you sit up against the headboard and a mound of pillows. You look at the sandwich, lift your bound hands, and look at me.

"Shall I just - help you with that?" I lift the sandwich to your mouth and you take a bite.

My heart melts as I watch you chew. Fuck. I could hand-feed you for the rest of my life and never tire of watching you eat.

"I'll let you go soon enough. But for now... you're my prisoner." I smile and take a bite of my sandwich.

 

 

_“You’re the best warden I could wish for...” I say after I’ve swallowed my bite._

_“Sweet, caring, strong, and incredibly hot...”_

_You hold out the sandwich for another bite, and when I’ve finished that give me a bit of star fruit, lick the juice off my lip._

_For a moment we just sit, staring into each other’s eyes. I feel drunk with love, and you look pretty much the same._

_God. Here I am, bound (!), in a bed in our villa in Mexico, being fed by my husband (!!), nearly crying with love (!!!). I think I *did* kill James Moriarty, psychopath, on that rooftop... it was just a very delayed response..._

_But no..._

_I am looking into the blue eyes of the best assassin in the world. It was you who killed him... of course, my beloved talented Tiger... you’ll kill anyone who’s a threat to me..._

 

 

For the next little while, I eat, feed you bites of sandwich and fruit, dribble juice onto your lips, and kiss you soundly.

By the time we've had our fill, we're both lying facing each other under the covers. I have a leg thrown over you, an arm caging you, and our kisses are growing longer and dreamier.

"God, Jim..." I breathe. "This is not how I was expecting this evening to go, but - I feel _drunk_ , baby. And all I had was one drink earlier and the wine I licked off you..." I grinned. "Which could very quickly become one of my favourite things, dousing you with drink, licking you clean and sucking you dry..."

 

 

_"I approve of this new development in your drinking habit," I smile._

_I feel so safe and held, your arm and leg around me, my hands and legs bound - all I need to do, all I can do, is lie here and gaze at you, gorging myself on your beauty, letting myself drift away on your kisses, feeling your caresses, so much more poignant when I'm not able to reciprocate._

 

 

I murmur with pleasure against your lips, close my eyes.

"I would love to fuck you again," I whisper, pressing my face into your neck. "Or have you ride me... but the last two times kind of took it out of me, and I'm starting to fade. Maybe a little nap is..." I trail off and tumble into blackness.

 

 

_Oh my sweet sweet Tigger... It's a good thing I'm in charge usually, or our life would be reduced to an ongoing cycle of your four favourite things: fucking, food, booze, and sleep._

_Well - I'm bound and at your mercy, so there is nothing for me to do but have a cat nap myself... what hardship..._

 


	3. Love of Violence

The first thing I become aware of is a nose buried in my neck. Then I realize it belongs to a Kitten, and I smile. I open my eyes and see you sleeping practically on top of me. _God_... that’s so beautiful.

Should I wake you up, or let you sleep? Well, technically this is _my_ evening and I can do whatever I want, I think, grinning. Actually, I should really check your bindings to make sure your circulation is ok... how long did we sleep anyway? Do I have any domination time left??

I crane my neck to look at the clock - 10pm. Just enough. I feel you stirring and I turn to see you open your eyes.

 

 

_Hm... what time is it? Where am I sleeping? How am I -_

_*I'M BOUND*_

_*I can't move my hands*_

_*I'm suffocating drowning helpless killed covered smothered asphyxiated*_

_I thrash about - got to get *out* –_

 

 

My eyes widen as I realize...

Oh _FUCK_...

" _JimJimJim_ , it's okay, baby - you're ok! You're with Seb..." I soothe, trying to stroke your arms but you're thrashing so hard...

"I'm so sorry, baby - let me get you out, OK... Jim, Jim, it's OK..."

_fuckfuckfuck_

I take hold of your arms firmly and begin to unwind the cords, crooning to you as I work.

"Almost done, baby - I'm so sorry, I'll untie your legs next and you'll be free..."

 

 

_*I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't BREATHE*_

_*I'm dying they're killing me I can't move I can't scream I can't breathe I'm stuck no air my face*_

_*THEY'RE HOLDING ME DOWN*_

Wait -

Tiger?

Tiger killing me?

No -

_*soothing words.*_

_*get you out.*_

_*untie.*_

_*free*_

I gasp for air -

there is air, see Jim? You * _can*_ breathe - it's ok - it's ok, your hands are free, your face is free, there's air, so much air, it's ok...

I gasp, gulp, desperate for the air that I've been lacking -

 _*fuck*_...

 

 

Seb, you FUCKING idiot... what were you thinking, letting him fall asleep tied up??

I'm managing to keep from crying, as I'm in soldier mode doing Kitten triage.

One: Reassure Kitten everything will be fine; orient Kitten to location and your identity

Two: Continue to reassure Kitten while untying cords on wrists

Three: Continue to reassure Kitten while untying cords on legs

Four: Reassess mental/emotional state of Kitten

Five: Do whatever it fucking takes to make Kitten feel safe

You can cry after Step 5, and not a goddamn second before, _hear me_?

 _Loud and clear_...

Right, I'm onto Step Three, we're more than halfway there...

"Jim darling, are you all right? I'm so sorry, that was completely my fault... be as upset at me as you like. There, your hands are free, now I'll do your legs..."

 _FUCK_... what's the likelihood I can convince you to beat the shit out of me so we'll both feel better?? I think it depends how angry you are...

 _NO CRYING_ while you're only on Step 3!!!

 

 

_My hands are free - let me GO -_

_I punch as hard as I can -_

_The pain in my hand smashes my consciousness back into my body. The adrenaline rush stops abruptly, the black mist in front of me drops, and I see - you -_

_You're looking at me, blood on your lip. You don't even look surprised._

_Oh god Seb -_

_Seb is hurt -_

_"Sebbie..."_

_I burst out crying, reach out for you._

 

 

Oh god... the explosion of pain is a relief.

 _I want more_...

But you're crying now, and Jim, I'm not sure what step I'm on anymore... do I comfort you or untie your legs? When can I offer myself as a sacrifice? Jim??

No, Seb - this isn't about you! Focus on comforting your Kitten!!

I'm holding you, kissing your face, but my chest is so tight; I fucked up, I failed you, this is all my fault...

"I'm sorry, baby - this is all on me, I shouldn't have fallen asleep. Please let me just untie you... You're safe, baby..."

I'm blinking back tears as I hold you.

 _I'm sorry, Kitten... I'm so sorry_...

 

 

_"No, Seb..." I cry, "I'm so sorry - I panicked - I shouldn't have... I'm sorry... I didn't know what was happening, I'm SO sorry..."_

_I move my face back, touch your lip, kiss the blood._

_"I really don't know what happened - I - don't respond well to being held down. But I was so comfortable when we fell asleep... I felt so safe and so held... I really had no idea... I should have woken you, Seb, I'm sorry..."_

 

 

“NO, Kitten, this is not your fault. I was in charge, I let this happen..." I cover your face with kisses. "Please, please let me untie your legs, I can't bear to see you upset..." I sniffle.

I can't seem to pull myself away from you, but - I need to get you free - need to complete the steps so I can be punished.

With a moan I pull away and throw back the covers and furiously unwrap the cord from your legs.

"I'm so sorry..." I say in anguish, pulling the cord off you and dropping it onto the floor. I gather you against me and begin to weep into your hair.

 

 

_Oh my dear Sebastian... I’m sorry my sweet... we were having such a good time and I went and spoiled it..._

_“Sebbie, Seb, my darling, my sweet... please don’t cry...” I whisper as my own tears are dripping onto your chest._

_“I didn’t know I would respond like this... how could you possibly know?! Please don’t feel guilty... don’t cry, my love... I love you so much...”_

 

 

"Should have - anticipated - " I say, my voice raw with emotion. "I protect you - I don't _hurt_ you -"

My eyes blur with tears. "I'm sorry, I should be taking care of you! Not freaking out myself! I just - can't handle being the cause of your pain..." I sniffle into your hair, and breathe shakily as I try to pull myself together.

"Are you all right, Jim?" I murmur against your ear.

 

 

_"I'm fine... Fine..._

_Sebbie... my love, my darling, my Tiger... how could you have anticipated? You are great, but you're not psychic. I'm supposed to be the genius around here, remember?"_

_I stroke your cheek, your tears, your poor lip..._

_"And I didn't think about it... I know I'm not too keen on being held down - you know how I'd always tell you not to hold me in bed, Before... that wasn't just because I wanted to seem cool and distant, it was also because I really don't deal well with being restrained, it makes me feel like I'm suffocating._

_But I *knew* that, Tiger. You didn't. Please, *please* stop feeling guilty... Please stop crying..."_

 

 

“I should have accounted for it,” I protest, my voice shaking. “I take care of you. That’s what I fucking do. I don’t fall asleep and leave you _tied up_ to have a panic attack or a flashback or whatever the fuck. Jim, can you do me a favour and just - hit me again?? Please.”

 

 

_"Seb!" I exclaim, shocked - I stare at you wide-eyed. "Sebastian, NO - you always take care of me, you always have, *so* well - you have tonight, too... *How ever* could you know that I would have a panic attack!? It's not like I have them all the time, is it? It's not like I've never been tied up before - *how* could you know?!"_

_I touch your face, your beautiful face, which I punched just now._

_"Please, Sebastian... it's not your fault..."_

 

 

I look at you mournfully, tears flowing. “I’d feel so much better if you hit me. _Please_ , I need it...”

 

 

_"Sebbie... Sebastian, I... you know I'm normally happy to hit you, but... I can't because you're feeling guilty, it's not your fault... I can't *punish* you, you have done nothing wrong, nothing..."_

_You still look at me pleadingly - yeah that's not helping, is it? Like I could ever punch those puppy eyes..._

_Like I ever had an issue with that..._

_Yes well that was in the past. Before puppy eyes could move me. Before *anything* could move me._

_"Sebbie..."_

_I stroke your face._

 

 

I look at you in disbelief.

"I hit you when you asked..." I say softly.

 

 

_*Oh*..._

_Oh you bastard._

_I *know*, but that was different - I was feeling guilty about my *Mam*, not about something I thought I'd done to you..._

_Oh fuck..._

_"Tiger..."_

_Oh fucking hell._

_I steel myself, punch you in the jaw again. Tears jump into my face as I see fresh blood well up from your mouth._

_Please - is that enough?_

 

 

I rub my jaw and lick my bloody lip.

Smiling faintly at you, I murmur, "One more, baby... for me..."

 

 

_"*Fuck* off, Moran..." I squeeze out, raise my fist, punch you in the ribs._

_This used to be so easy... used to be as natural as breathing. Pissed off? Punch Moran. Now... seeing your face screw up with the force of the punch..._

_*Please*, Sebastian..._

_"No more. Hear that?"_

 

 

"Well yeah, I'm not deaf..." I say hoarsely, struggling to take in a deep breath. I cradle my ribs, panting.

"Whose domination evening is this anyway? Ordering me around, you recalcitrant Kitten..." I look up at you, laughing softly through my tears. "I know, it's fucked up. But it helped..."

 

 

_I fall to my knees in front of you, throw my arms around you, kiss your face, your poor lip..._

_"Please don't make me do that again..." I hear myself plead. *Really*!? *Really Jim*!? You're asking Sebastian not to make you *punch* him any more!? You must have punched him as often as fucked him - he never complained. Punched you a good few times, too. Why is it suddenly so abhorrent to you?_

_Because I don't want to hurt you... No, that's ridiculous, I do want to hurt you. But - only in sexy time context. Not when you feel you need to be punished... Because I don't want you to feel like you deserve punishment, because you don't, you never do, you are my best friend, my favourite person, my beloved Tiger... and you're so fucking perfect..._

_"Seb... I know, I know how your mind works, mine works the same - you've done wrong, you deserve to be punished, you atone... but sweet Tiger... you did nothing wrong. I don't have problems punishing you when you're being an arse... but you weren't. You aren't."_

_I pull back, pull you up. "How is your rib? Let's rinse out your mouth and put some ice on it... Damn it, Tiger... You're supposed to look pretty for me, not with a swollen lip and bruised jaw..."_

 

 

I lean down and rest my head on your shoulder. "Aww, baby - you still think I'm pretty, don't you..." I say softly. "Besides, you like me rough around the edges, even a little banged up... don't you."

I pull back to look at you, and the air is charged between us.

I take your face in my hands.

"It really wasn't bad, and I'm fine," I say solemnly. "Promise." I touch my lips to yours lightly.

"I'm your big, scary Tiger and it takes a lot more than that to hurt me... the only thing that can take me down is the thought of my Kitten in pain. Are you sure you're OK, angel?" I murmur, gathering you to me again.

 

 

_“I’m *fine*! I keep telling you... Silly Tigger...” I murmur into your neck._

_“You’re incredibly sexy with a split lip and a bruised jaw, I have to say... but I prefer to only punch you when I *want* to. You’re abusing your dominant status, my dear...” I grin half-heartedly._

_“Are you feeling better now? Not guilty any more? You’re the best bodyguard ever... you take such amazing care of me, you really do... I’d have been dead ten times over if it weren’t for you, you know that...”_

 

 

"Mmm..." I nuzzle your face and smell your hair. "Still feeling guilty, but I'm past the meltdown phase. And enjoying the bit that comes after where we comfort each other intensely."

I interlace my fingers with yours, kiss your hand and hold it against my chest.

"I haven't taken a punch since the bar brawl and that was days ago. Is it weird that it feels like something's missing if there's no violence? I don't care - if that makes me a beast, fine. But being thrashed by an adorable psychopath does help..." I grin.

"I knew you found it sexy..." I whisper and seek out your lips with mine. "My bloodthirsty darling..."

 

 

_“No, it’s not weird... I feel the same twitches, and you’re much more hands-on than I am. Violence is what we are, what we do... but I do prefer watching you dish it out to others... that is very, very sexy...”_

_I snuggle closer to you._

_“But it does worry me, a bit... I mean, you’d think going into a bar brawl in a shady pub would be harmless enough, but you got fucking *stabbed* in the neck... you could have been killed. And I can’t think of a scarier prospect than that._

_And you’re elite, but you’re also over forty... one of these years you’ll no longer be the best fighter out there.”_

_I see you scowl, but I’m serious. This has been worrying me._

_“How do we combine our love of violence with our love of each other? I don’t want to be beaten up by you every few days because you need to punch someone...”_

 

 

"I'm hardly going to want to beat you up every few days... maybe just every fortnight," I grin and wink. "I'm joking, baby. Mostly. I mean, if you punch me, odds are I'll punch back. Unless you're dominating, then I'll be a good Tiger. I guess I need to channel my aggression through training, working out, riding the bike... But when I'm working - problem solved."

I look at you closely. "And I just _assumed_ I would be returning to work once we were done with honeymooning. Is the fact that I'm over forty a concern to you, suddenly? You know in the military there are still people in the field in their forties - they're in positions of command, but they're on active duty. It would be a waste of good men not to utilize their expertise. I'm a better fighter now than I was in my twenties. Hell, I'm a better _everything_... what do you want me to do instead of working; garden and do Tai Chi?" I make a silly face at you, but I can't help but feel troubled. "How many times have I been stabbed and shot over the years? It happens, Jim... but I'll always come back to you."

My arms tighten around you and I look at you intently. "No matter what I have to do to stay alive, I'll _always_ return to you, Kitten..."

 

 

_"I assumed we would be going back to work too... but it worries me, Sebbie..." I snuggle onto your lap, my head on your shoulder. I just want to feel close to you, want to be held by you, for ever..._

_"I know you're a great soldier, and I know you wouldn't be able to do gardening and Tai Chi, but... I just worry, you know? I just didn't use to care much - I mean, yeah, I preferred us not to die, but it wasn't a big deal - I was happy to risk it, liked the adrenaline, liked playing games on a knife's edge..._

_But now - the idea of something happening to you just... terrifies me... and then - you lived through that already - I would *never* want to make you suffer like that again - I never want to die and leave you..."_

_I sigh. "I just go round and round with this in my head all the time, and I can't find a solution. I know we are made of violence, and I know that those who live by the sword are often bound to die by it, and usually quicker than those who live by the pen... I'm sorry. It appears that worry, like guilt, is one of those inevitable side effects of love. *Thanks*, Tiger..." I raise one corner of my mouth._

_"I do trust you... you are the best fighter I've ever met... I just wish I could put you in some invincibility suit like Iron Man or something..."_

 

 

 _Oh, Jim_.

I pull your hip over mine so you're sitting astride my lap. We're facing each other, and I press my forehead to yours.

"Baby... I don't want you to worry. Nothing matters in the end, except us. We'll figure something out about work and the Empire... But I just have to say something - if it's that much of a worry, I think we could just walk away. Couldn't we? If we wanted to? What would be the point of doing it if it just made us feel stressed out and terrified of losing each other?

At the very least, we could figure out how to run it in a way that's less dangerous to us - less hands-on and in the field, like military generals. But, Jim - one thing I'm _not_ doing is letting _you_ be in a dangerous position without being there to protect you. No way in hell, Kitten. And if you even _try_ to give me an order like that, I'll tell you to stuff it and come with you. Or throw you in a cupboard, until you see reason." I pull back and raise my eyebrows at you. "I'm not joking this time. Consider yourself warned, darling."

 

 

_Wait - give up the Empire?!_

_I worked my entire life for that. I never had anything else. It’s mine._

_I need the power, Tiger..._

_But be less hands-on..._

_Oh, my Tiger..._

_you would do that for me?_

_“Sebastian... I know how much of an adrenaline junkie you are; giving up your lifestyle is... not really thinkable.”_

_But maybe we could try..._

_“I won’t let myself get into any danger without you... I can’t let you suffer like you did in the past year...”_

_I lean my head on your shoulder._

_“I love you so much Tiger... and it’s all new. And I get worried... You’re the most precious person I have ever known. And... you know what happened to everyone else I’ve ever loved...”_

_My voice chokes up._

_“This whole love thing is so scary... I can’t lose you, ever, but either you lose me or I lose you; it’s fucking inevitable - how do people *live* with that?! How do they just happily waltz through life with that realization hanging over them?!”_

 

 

"All right, baby... I have a solution. How 'bout we make a pact right now. Neither of us will make the other one go through anything so awful, no matter what. We'll make it a blood pact, you'll like that... we'll solemnly swear not to die until we're older and both ready to go. At least, very close to each other. Because we've both lost the people we loved most and it fucked us completely and nearly destroyed us. I am _not_ putting you through that, and you better _fucking believe_ I'm not going through that again with you." I can feel my eyes glinting dangerously and my jaw hardening.

Still anger simmering deep down, then...

 _Yesss_ , of course... push it down again, can't explode now...

I take a breath, force my face to soften.

"Listen, Jim... I know I'm an adrenaline junkie. Lots of soldiers are... and sooner or later, they eventually have to step back from combat duty and do other things. Important things - making the big decisions, deciding on strategy, keeping the world running smoothly, keeping people safe. But they _never_ forget their training, and they're still forces of nature when the situation calls for it. And I'm a twisted, violent fucker so that goes double for me. You know I'm bad to the bone, baby..." I grin at you, and smooth a lock of hair from your forehead. "That won't change no matter what my job description is. I will _always_ be the dangerous, bloodthirsty beast at your back. I'm in it for life and it will _not_ be cut short. I'm ready to declare that to the universe or whatever the fuck is out there. Because in the end, _you_ make the rules, my dark prince - and reality motherfucking follows."

 

 

_I want to protest, say that we can't make a fucking pact because how are we going to know when we die?_

_But then... you go all big bad soldier on me, and I kind of get distracted by how fucking hot you are..._

_And... Fuck it. You're right._

_This entire love/guilt/worry thing has subdued my usual fire - you're still the best fighter in the world, and I - I am in motherfucking *charge*. If people out there think they can *kill* you or me, they have another think coming. Because I'm Jim Moriarty, and *I* say who lives and who dies._

_Thank you, Tiger. Thank you for reminding me._

_I grin up at you._

_"You're right, of course... fuck, Tiger, you're right. We're in charge. Fuck the world..."_

_And now, right now, it makes sense. I am in charge of my destiny; have been since I left Ireland. Yes, I worry about you - but you're most at risk from me, all things considered..._

_"You're marvellous, my Tiger..._

_and thanks. You always know how to make me feel better..."_

_I look up at your face, see you look at me so full of love and determination..._

_I press my lips against yours, taste your blood. A stab of guilt flashes through me but only that - it doesn't linger. The metallic intoxicating taste of your blood does, though..._

_My hands make their way up to your shoulders, I pull you close, in a life-affirming kiss - You. Me. All that exists. All that matters._

 

 

You're kissing me, and all is right with us, with the world, with the _universe_...

I kiss you back possessively, my arms caging your back.

No one gets to take you away from me...

You have spoken, and _we're_ in charge.

I break off from the kiss, and cradle your face with my hand.

"There's something about you declaring who's in charge..." I breathe in deeply, and move my hand back to drag my fingers through your hair. "Mmm. I can _never_ get enough of that... evening's almost done, baby. if you want the reins back, they're yours. Like they've always been..."

 

 

_I grin at your words._

_“I have to admit, I did enjoy tonight. Yes, despite the end. We could do it again, some time..._

_But... I *do* love being in charge...”_

_You saying those things made me grow stronger, bigger, more impressive. Seeing your eyes change as you look at me - you see it too -_

_It was fun letting you take over for a night; it was awfully relaxing..._

_But I am a bossy fucker, and I’m getting horny again looking into your eyes looking at me like that, and I do long to work you over a bit..._

_“Why don’t you show me what else is in that bag... that you purchased for use upon you...” I say, licking my lips._

 

 

A smile spreads slowly across my face. "Oh, I got to top for two hours or so... And as soon as I relinquish control, you wanna play? All right, darling... I'll show you what's in the bag..." I press a damp kiss into your neck, and pull back to stare at you intently. "And you show me how it's done." I caress your jaw, and then tear myself away to get the bag from the balcony.

I return to find you sitting on the bed. I sit on the floor, one leg out and one knee raised. I hold up a black leather strap, and hand it to you. "Discipline strap - you can use the side with grommets if you want it to be extra stingy, or the plain leather side if you're feeling merciful."

I pull out a collapsible metal rod with attached cuffs, and throw it on the bed.

"Spreader bar, should someone's legs need to be kept open."

I pull out a couple of boxes, and toss them on the bed. "I found a couple of different restraint systems I thought you'd like - one is for attaching someone to a door. The other is for restraining someone to a bed. You really seemed to like me being chained to the bed, but I don't want to sleep away from you again. So if you ever feel the need to chain up a tiger, it will be all set up and ready to go."

I grin. "And the rest of the stuff I bookmarked to show you. Because it's equipment, so it takes up _space_... we'd need to convert one of the bedrooms into a playroom or a dungeon. I wasn't sure if you wanted to go that far..." I chuckle.

 

 

_"Oh, my poor Tiger... you don't *have* to give up the reins, you know. You could still be in charge if you like..."_

_I look closely at your eyes, your pupils having dilated showing me all this stuff -_

_You definitely are up for using it - when are you ever not - but do you want it used on you, or...?_

_"It's up to you, Sebastian... Do you want to use your new toys on me, or do you want to be the one to feel them?"_

 

 

I got to my knees, and slid my arms around your waist.

"I enjoyed the fuck out of being in charge, and I'm _so_ glad you liked it... I'm _thrilled_ that you're open to doing it again..."

I rub my cheek against your lap, and kiss my way up your thighs.

"But 'poor Tiger'? Do you have any idea how much I crave what you do to me? Do you know how much pleasure you give me?"

I lean in to nuzzle your chest, and look up at you through my lashes.

"I want to feel your desire... that's what _I_ want. So tell me what _you_ desire, baby... to feel the lash... or to inflict it?" I say low in my throat as I slowly drag my fingers along your thigh, letting them dig deeply into your skin.

 

 

_"Do you honestly think I'd give you the choice if I had a preference?" I grin._

_But... we've already slipped into our normal pattern..._

_You're on your knees in front of me, and to be fair, I really long to use your toys..._

_My hand moves into your hair, my fingers close, and I pull your head back. I bend down, kiss you hungrily, claim your mouth with my tongue._

_"You had your chance, Tiger..._

_but if you ask me what I desire, what I *really* desire, is to see you squirm under that beautiful new toy you got there, to hear your moans, to feel the heat of your skin after I've lashed it, to tie you down and fuck you hard... because there is nothing in this world more beautiful than you, and I want to own all that beauty, all those feelings, all that strength and passion... make it mine again and again and again..."_

_I let go of your hair._

_"Let's have a shower first. You can wash me."_

_I walk to the shower, not looking back._

 

 

And just like that, you're back. I chuckle to myself, as you disappear into the bathroom.

It was so fascinating and delicious to see another side to you this evening. And I would love to see it again.

But you are James Moriarty, the dominant little fucker I adore and desire, and even being away from the real you for a few hours made me miss you.

I look at the assortment of purchases I made, strewn over the bedspread. I relinquished control, and now they'll be used on me. Oh god, what am in for? I grin and jump up. When I reach the bathroom, you're already in the shower, waiting for me.

I get in while eyeing your body, already slick. I grab the body wash and pour it into my hands, letting it foam up in the hot water.

"I guess I did get you pretty wet and sticky..." I look down at you, and rub my foamy hands all over your chest and arms. "All that juice..." I rub your nipples gently.

"all that wine..." I bring my foamy hands down to your pelvis. I stroke your cock, my eyes half-closing.

"all that... tiger semen..." My hands slowly move over your cheeks and I rub in a circular motion over your arsehole.

"I got to have you twice and it was a thing of fucking beauty, Sir..." I breathe, as I continue to move my hands all over your body. "I'll understand if you have some catching up to do..."

I grin. No way will it be that easy to get fucked if you have restraints and whipping on the brain... but a Tiger can try... a Tiger will _always_ try.

 

 

_"Mmm," I purr as your sleek hands slide all over my body. It's good to be back in control - I didn't really relinquish it, did I... I'll have to try harder next time._

_But for now..._

_I stop your hand as it moves to my cock. "No." You look at me, eyes questioning._

_"Use your mouth," I direct. You grin, get to your knees, let your mouth fill with water, then close it round my cock, pressing the water out as you move over the head. You repeat the movement, adding your tongue this time._

_I lean back against the wall of the shower, closing my eyes, relishing the feeling of your mouth on my cock and you on your knees in front of me in the shower. A position you've been in more times than even I can count, yet one that never ever gets old for either of us._

_When you get old and rickety we'll have to get you a nice kneeling cushion like pensioners use when gardening..._

 

 

So it begins...

I was happy to suck your cock when I was topping, and I'm happy to suck your cock now that the natural order has been restored.

It was hot to suck your cock when you were my Boss who I was awe-struck by, and it's hot to suck your cock now that you're my husband who I love madly.

Basically it's been a constant in the entire trajectory of our relationship to be worshipping your cock while on my knees.

I moan as I feel it prodding towards the back of my throat. _Fuck_ , this turns me on. My cock is hard again, and I would love to touch myself, but ownership has been returned to you - the dark lord who possesses my cock, my body, my heart, my soul... My hands slide over your hips and I fondle your lush bottom as my head moves back and forth, back and forth, and I continue to moan deep in my throat.

 

 

_"That'll do," I gasp, grab your hair, and pull you off my cock. *Fuck*, but you're good at this... You're not getting away that easy, though. I have tools to use... and let's face it, you'd be disappointed if I didn't._

_"Towel me off," I say, and turn off the water. You grab a towel from the shelf and start drying me, starting with my hair and my face, reverently and softly, then getting more vigorous as you do my chest and back, making me wince slightly as you get to my arse - you've really done a number on that, haven't you, Tiger? No worries - it's your turn soon..._

_You finish drying me off, get a towel for yourself as I saunter into the bedroom, looking at your new toys._

_As you walk in, I'm momentarily, once again, some day I will get used to this, honest; taken aback by how fucking impressive you look. Full of strength, power, but as softly-footed as your feline namesake; so fucking *beautiful*... and all mine._

_"Gorgeous, Tiger..." I smile, taking the door restraints. "These are really awfully clever, aren't they? They'll allow me to restrain you anywhere we go, in any hotel room... perfect. Let's see if they're strong enough..."_

_The restraints consist of plastic blocks that you throw over a door, with adjustable canvas strips attached to them which lead to cuffs. Close the door and whoever is in the cuffs is secured as solidly as the door is. Of course you *could* pull out a door, but you could destroy most bed frames as well. Restraining you is a futile exercise if you *really* wanted to get free, but you mostly don't - it's just a reminder that you will not move without permission._

_I move you with your chest against the door, put your wrists into the restraints, then pull them up until your wrists are against the door frame._

_Beautiful._

_I move over, grab your hair, pull you into a kiss that lasts a lifetime... or a minute._

_My Sebastian..._

 

 

When I'm drying you off, I can't help but admire my work on your arse... the pink skin, the bruising that will already be forming. I definitely notice the small intake of breath as I towel off your arse. A bit sore, Jim? Wait until tomorrow... and I'm sure I'll be joining you in moving gingerly, but of course my marks will be a lot more wide-spread and noticeable.

I follow you into the bedroom, and I immediately sense your eyes on me. It nearly takes my breath away to feel your predator's gaze.

You're pawing through my purchases with delight, as if it's Christmas morning. I chuckle as I watch, and then you're tearing open the package for door restraints. _Really_...

And before too long, I find myself cuffed to a door... I was sure you would go for the bed restraints, but then I've been tied down to a bed more times than I can count.

You're kissing me possessively, and I'm practically swooning, but luckily the restraints hold me in place. Mmm... _Jim_...

 

 

_My kissing appears to have an effect on you. Are you pleased things are back to their natural order, or would you have preferred to continue a bit?_

_I do believe what you said earlier - you really love my pleasure more than anything. And I'm about to be *very* pleased... I *love* new toys. Especially if I get to use them on you..._

_I walk to the bed, pick up the discipline strap. It feels wonderful in my hand - heavy, comfortable handle, not much force needed to make quite an impact - and one side studded for if I really want to make an impression._

_I stroke your arse, still marked from yesterday, but you can take this - it won't cut, just thud. I press myself against you, kissing your neck, stroking the strap across your thigh, feeling your body respond to my presence, to the anticipation of my caresses, my lashes, my kisses, my bites..._

_It's so hard not to just devour you, consume you entirely; you are *so* incredibly delectable..._

_I bite your earlobe, wrap my arms around you. "I love you, Sebastian... and now I'm going to hurt you, because I love you and there is nothing hotter than seeing you gasp in pain..." I whisper in your ear, then step back and bring the leather side of the strap down on your buttocks._

 

 

I lean my cheek against the door, as you move back behind me.

As I feel your eyes on me, I know you want to devour me whole, and fuck if that doesn't turn me on. My cock hardens and presses against the door. I feel very aware of my arse as if it has a bright red target painted on it. (Hmm... body paint? My purchases seemed to delight you so much, I'm already thinking ahead to my next order. A dungeon would require _a lot_ of equipment and toys... )

You're biting me, wrapping yourself around me, whispering to me... my mouth is already open at your words and your touch when you bring the strap down.

"Oh, god..." I breathe. Oh _god_... I loved being off the leash and doing whatever the fuck I wanted, but... holy shit, does it turn me on to be worked over by you. My cock is already swollen and painful... Sorry, little Seb... I think we're in for it tonight.

I feel the sharp kiss of the strap against my skin, and the sweet burning pain that follows. I wonder if I'll be receiving the stud side, as well. Maybe it depends on how well I behave? I'll try my best, but ... it doesn't always make a difference. Well-behaved Tiger, smirking Tiger, wilful Tiger... they all bleed at your hands when the mood strikes.

The strap delivers a vicious kiss to my other cheek, and I moan.

 

 

_Moans... delicious moans..._

_I feel the familiar rush pulsing through me - delivering *pain*... there is no high like it. Even better than delivering death, because you get more feedback._

_It mixes with the love and lust I feel for you to create a potent and heady mixture that goes straight to my head, and, eh, further down. Your muscles twitch as you absorb the stroke, anticipate the next one, tense as the strap lands, release as you take in the pain, brace yourself for the next... such a divine rhythm that it's so easy to lose ourselves in._

_"You're so beautiful like this Sebastian... tied to the wall, at my mercy, twitching under the strokes of my strap - the strap that *you* purchased, because you love to feel my strength, my power, don't you, Tiger?"_

_Another two strokes, in quick succession, on the same spot._

_Such beautiful sounds..._

 

 

My groans cut off my response, and I breathe to get my head together enough to answer.

"Yes, fuck _YES_ , I love your power... I long for it, crave it... Sir, please... _more_..."

My hands curl into fists as I brace myself for what you'll do next. I press my cheek firmly into the door, and await your pleasure in my pain.

 

 

_More, you say... I can do that, until you'll be begging for the opposite..._

_I love being in charge of what happens, being able to manipulate people like puppets - *especially* you, because you are strong, powerful, *hot*... and *mine*, all mine... and I love you *so fucking much*..._

_I lash down, again and again, lost in this sweet dance of pain and pleasure that we know so well. You moan, I lash, you moan again; your muscles twitching as you're absorbing the blows, red weals appearing on your arse among the bruises, creating a beautiful canvas._

_*You*, Sebastian. You. You have become my world in these past two weeks or so. From someone who was an afterthought somewhere in the back of my mind, carefully kept under lock and key with myriad rules and taboos, you have exploded into my consciousness, and now you're all I can think about, all I see, all I care about. An obsession worse than the one I had with Holmes, because this involves my entire being, not just my mind - my mind is hardly involved; it's my heart, oh god my heart, ignored for so long, determined to have its revenge; my body, my soul... I don't believe I have a soul, Tiger, but if I do, it's yours._

_And you are mine..._

_Your arse is a nice even red, and I turn the strap round, whack the side with grommets against you, relish the way it makes you jump..._

 

 

Oh god... not just the cruel sting of leather, but the scrape of cold metal, as well... I squeeze my eyes shut. It's hardly the worst pain I've experienced at your hands (you cut my fucking foot, you little shit... still not healed from that!) But since you started exploring the full spectrum of pain and suffering, it's still amazing to me that these lesser degrees of pain and discomfort can get under my skin _so well_... I feel less like I'm bracing myself against them than I used to, less like I'm in soldier mode...

The response is more immediate, more true, more _Seb_... and _that_ has the potential to be far more devastating than the worst pain I experienced in the time Before...

I truly am helpless in your hands now... not just my life, which you could have taken away in any moment, and I _know_ that. But now you have my heart, and the essence of who I am... these are all laid bare to you now.

I think of this as I feel the vicious little kisses of the small metal circles embedded in the leather...

I think of this as I press against the door, gasping every time you bring the strap down against my arse...

I think of this as I feel your presence behind me, like a dark, predatory force of nature... knowing the only reason I'm alive is because you allow it... and because I allow you to have this power over me.

I breathe in deeply as I consider this. I'm not sure why we do this, I'm really not, but there's nowhere else I would rather be than hanging suspended in the delicate balance between life and death, with you as the authority who ultimately decides my fate.

I think you've decided we're going to live a long life together... I think it's about 99.999% certain in your mind. It's the 0.001% that I'm always aware of when I allow myself to be powerless in your hands... you're god and the devil rolled into one devastatingly desirable and divinely diabolical package, decorated with a black satin ribbon...

I want to unwrap you... I want to devour you... I want...

The strap cracks hard against my arse, and I come back to earth with a jump.

"Oh god, yes..." I whisper, and lean my forehead against the door. "Fuck. Jim. _Yes_..."

 

 

_I move towards you, lick the back of your neck. "Jim now, is it...?" I blow on the stripe I just licked, making you shiver. "Jim is a privilege, Sebastian. I didn't say you earned that yet..."_

_I take your hair, dig my fingers in, push your face onto mine, kissing you possessively. Then I grin at you, your eyes dark blue, staring at me, waiting, wondering what I'll do. I wonder myself. Wait..._

_I walk into the bathroom, pick up the bar of soap, take it to you. "Seeing as you can't seem to keep your mouth under control... open up." You open your mouth and I shove the bar inside. "Hold it there." I smile at your disgusted expression, step back, lash your bottom again. I have to be careful with this side - there is already blood seeping down from three places. Another lash, another, and then I kneel down behind you, my mouth onto one of the cuts, drinking your delicious blood._

 

 

 _Jesus_... seriously, Jim??

Oh you little fucker... after I was so lovely with you. Next time, baby... just you wait. My eyes glint dangerously.

The soap is horrible, and I'd really like to be able to focus on what's going on with my arse. You've broken skin... and now you're sucking blood from my arse and I really, really want all my attention to be on your tongue.

I move my lips over my teeth, and slide the soap so it's partly resting on skin, and there's less surface area of touching inside my mouth. It only makes a small difference, but it's satisfying. Not as satisfying as spitting the bar of soap at you, and then ripping the door off the hinges would be, maybe... I smile at the thought, and then have to press down to keep the fucking soap from sliding out of my mouth.

 

 

_The intoxicating taste of your blood... so much better than the blood of lesser men. Tiger blood is definitely a powerful aphrodisiac..._

_You're making grumbling noises around your soap - aw, too much, Tiger? You prefer bleeding over a nasty taste?_

_Well, you've been a good Tiger so far - I guess I can be magnanimous. I stand up, unbuckle the restraints, lead you to the bathroom sink. "You can spit it out now."_

_You spit the bar of soap in the sink, wash your mouth with lots of water, spluttering and swearing - now, now, Sebastian. Don't make me put it back._

_I grin and hug you close. "That was not appreciated, then, my poor love? Has it taught you your lesson though?"_

 

 

Over your shoulder I roll my eyes. Yes, darling. You've made your bloody point.

" _Sir_. I'm sure I will not be making the same mistake again... _Sir_." I pull back and smile fiercely at you.

"Where would you like me now, Sir?"

 

 

_Oh, my love... you're indomitable, aren't you? No wonder they threw you out of the army. You can make Sir sound like an insult. I can't help but grin. Never change, Tiger... if I wanted a doormat, I could have got tons of those. You are... the perfect mix of submissive and snarky, and, well - you're Sebastian._

_"On the bed, on your knees, facing the headboard," I direct, and open the box for the bed restraints. "Hands on the headboard..." I chain you to the upper railing - beautiful. Now the spreader bar. I attach the cuffs to your thighs just above your knees, so you're nicely immobilized - legs spread wide, back nearly horizontal, wrists attached to the headboard. The soles of your feet are facing upwards, and I see the healing wound I made - was that only yesterday? I kiss it where it cut the ball of your foot, then lick up to your heel, making you shiver._

_Your blood has stopped flowing, so it's time to get it going again... I pick up the strap, lash it down on your arse several times - it's different with you bent like this... the skin is tauter._

_I aim a few strikes at your thighs - such delicious moans..._

_I take a step back to survey the scene - my husband (*my husband*...), kneeling on the bed, blood trickling down his thighs, hands clenching around the railing of the headboard, groaning in pain..._

_*God, I love you Sebastian*..._

_I kneel behind you, my mouth on the new sources of blood... One of these days I'm going to have to give you enough time to recover... how did I do that Before? Oh yes, I would get preoccupied with work for a while... the downside of being on a honeymoon is that one tends to not really do much else than sex... and sex with you is *so much sweeter* when you groan and bleed..._

_You're not complaining though. Quite the opposite... Your cock is proudly erect, you're moaning, pushing your arse back towards me._

 

 

Oh, _fuck_ , this was such a good idea... I need to buy new toys for you to use, all the time... we _will_ need a room to store them all. I start to imagine where I would install gleaming racks of implements and -

_snap_

I jump as the strap hits a spot that already feels painful and wet with blood. The metal against the wound makes me gasp.

Then I feel your mouth on my wounds, and jesus fucking christ, it's almost too much - you turn me on _so much_... yes, chain me, spread my thighs apart, discipline me and make me _bleed_...

"God, I fucking love you, _Sir_... you get me so bloody hot every time, _Sir_... oh god, you make it so hard not to come... SirSir _SIR_..." I moan as I feel your lips and tongue on my aching thighs.

This time there's nothing sarcastic about it, this time it's fucking reverence spilling from my lips, and adoration and worship... and not a little desperation...

Motherfucking _Christ_... I thought I'd be fine because I already came two times tonight? I'm a fucking idiot. You always take me to the edge and beyond...

 _always_...

I shove my arse out towards you, longing for more. God, you're going to have me begging before I can come, aren't you...

 

 

_"*So* much better, Sebastian..." I purr. I fold myself underneath you, wrap my legs around your hips, my arms around your neck, and pull in for a kiss. A long kiss... a lingering kiss... "You taste of soap," I giggle, kiss you again. Your cock rubs against mine - insatiable Tiger..._

_"I should really try that out some time again - make you come over and over, see how many times you can in a day... I know I tried it when we were just together, but you were younger then, and, I know it's inconceivable, but even more voracious than now. Think you could manage 23 still, at the ripe old age of 42?" I stroke your cock, making you moan._

_"Not quite yet, Tigger... your boss always comes first... isn't that so?"_

_"Yes, Sir..." you pant._

_"And I believe you broke that rule twice tonight... didn't you?" I ask, squeezing your balls. You moan. "I did, Sir..."_

_"Now... how do I punish you for that..." I ponder, trailing my fingers over your shaft. "I could fuck you and not let you come... keep you tied to the bed so your hands can't wander in your sleep... how does that sound?"_

 

 

I groan, closing my eyes. "It... sounds like being punished for things I did while I was in charge, by your permission... which is _of course_ your prerogative, Sir..."

I open my eyes, smiling wryly. _Adorable little shit_...

"I am as ever completely under your power and trust that you'll make the right decision for me, Sir... pleasure or pain, discipline or punishment, it's all yours to deliver as you see fit, and I'm delighted to be your plaything...Sir."

Fuck... I really _am_... nothing could give me more pleasure, even if you're planning to torment me. I feel your fingers playing lightly against my cock, and I breathe deeply. My eyelids flutter shut.

God... _Jim_...

 

 

_"*Challenging* me now, are we, Tiger?" I grip your balls more closely, making you gasp. "And you said *I* was wilful... But you're right, I don't need a reason to punish you. Let's see how I feel after I've fucked you."_

_I kneel down behind you again, suck the blood from a wound, then tease around your entrance, kissing, licking, making you moan. My hand goes to your cock, grabbing it, stroking it whilst I keep up my oral attentions, until I feel your balls tighten, then I stop._

 

 

Oh god, oh god, your hand, your _mouth_... I don’t know why this is getting to me so much, I’ve been through so much worse teasing and torment... maybe it’s the confusion of going from top to bottom in one fell swoop. It’s like the bends in reverse, I think. Oh god, it’s definitely messing with my head a little. Just do yourself a favour and shut the _fuck_ up, Seb... before you say something that gets you in worse trouble...

My lips quirk. Most people don’t have these concerns in their heads... I feel _sorry_ for most people... I breathe in deeply and prepare myself to be ridden hard before punishment.

“I am so looking forward to whatever you decide...” I breathe. “You’re so fucking hot, Sir...”

 

 

_Aren't I just, Tiger..._

_I take your pinwheel, roll it over your punished bottom and thighs, making you shiver. Roll it softly over your balls, making you gasp. The shaft of your cock - I'm not going to touch the head, the thought makes even me queasy. That bit of you is just for pleasure..._

_Speaking of pleasure - I lie down, move myself towards your cock, lick around the head, take it into my mouth. So silky smooth... so lovely and sweet... so longing._

_Again, I caress you to just the edge of orgasm - then stop._

 

 

You're going farther with the pinwheel than I did, but that's not unexpected.

Oh god, I never would have gone over your balls...

Jesus, I love you having control of my body...

the pinwheel rolls sharply over my shaft, and my brain is shutting down over the intense sensation.

Then you're shifting position, and using your _mouth_...

To go from pain to pleasure is just... my brain is _melting_ now...

god, just...

oh god...

please...

 _Oh_.

Oh, you fucker...

 

 

_You're moaning. My love, my Sebastian..._

_I'm suddenly overcome with love for you. You are *so fucking amazing*..._

_"I'm going to fuck you now, my darling... and you are going to come just from my cock... but not until I order you. Think you can do that for me, my Tiger?"_

 

 

“Anything... anything you want, you know I’ll do...” I rave, feeling downright delirious with desire. If you’re going allow me to come, you better fucking believe I’ll come on command...

“Oh god, Sir... I want your cock so much...”

And here we go... the begging begins...

 

 

_And I want you, my utterly insatiable Tiger. It appears we’re getting the hang of this honeymoon thing - see the local sites, have ravenous sex, preferably not at the same time._

_Much better than violent psychotherapy sessions on the beach... though those were probably needed to get to this stage of trust and ease with each other. And - well - the price we had to pay for love..._

_I prepare you quickly, mount you - yes... this is how the world is supposed to be, you bleeding, moaning, and in chains underneath me, shivering with longing for me..._

_I’m sorry Tiger, I did enjoy tonight, but there is *nothing* that beats this..._


	4. The Hand of Fucking God

I groan loudly as your cock pushes into me. Oh Jesus _fuck_ , you feel good...

I so enjoyed having carte blanche to do whatever I wanted to you... and I would just fuck you nonstop around the clock if I could... but this - _this_ is us. Me bound and helpless, subject to your will.

SirYesSIR...

FuckFuck _FUCK_...

"Oh Jesus, Oh god, Oh Sir, your cock feels so good... so good... oh god, please..."

I'm ranting again...

All self-control has melted away...

I'm under your thrall...

I'm yours...

 

 

_Yes, Sebastian... god, you enchant me... you feel *so* good, always..._

_I drag my fingers across your back - so many traces of me there... the large M, of course, and smaller scars - not all mine, some are from your army days - fading lashes from your last whipping... Your entire body is covered with the marks of my ownership, always. I loved it when we'd be in a situation where you'd need to change shirts or something, and people couldn't help but stare at your back, chest, arms - and you'd give them a filthy grin like only you can, filled with cocky pride. Or when we'd meet with flunkies and I'd have clearly visible bite marks or scratch lines in my neck - and they'd stare at me and then you, knowing that *no one* could mark James Moriarty and live... it all added to our legend._

_Oh, Sebastian... what was I thinking, going away... Like I amount to *anything* without you... Yeah, I built up my Empire single-handed, but I only really started to get successful, only started to actually *enjoy* myself, when you came and joined me._

_"My Sebastian... You are sublime, magnificent, I adore you..." I say, stroking your hair._

 

 

Your hand caressing my hair, your words...

I'm glowing at your affection... god, could I be any more in love, any more under your spell, any more your creature?

Was it not just under an hour ago I was in charge and had you all trussed up, my adorable captive Kitten?

You've wiped that all out in a matter of minutes...

"My dark lord..." I murmur. "You're so goddamn beautiful... I _worship_ you, and I'm fucking yours... fuck, I love your cock inside me, my fuck god..." I look over my shoulder at you and flash you a lascivious grin, my tongue slipping out over my lips.

 

 

_No one can look as lecherous as you..._

_I love you, I adore you, I desire you, and I'm going to *seriously* fuck you because I *need* you..._

_My fingers dig into your hips and I pull you to me, burying myself deep inside you. I bend over, lick your back, then pull out and thrust back in. *So* good... God Sebastian, you were *made* for me..._

_I start pounding you in earnest, no thoughts any more but the bestial urge to *fuck*, to own, to claim, to possess..._

 

 

Oh god, oh god... you are not going easy on me. And it turns me on _so fucking much_...

There's nothing hotter than aggressive Jim... possessive Jim... _bestial_ Jim...

I'm moaning loudly and gasping as you pound into me.

God, the _sounds_... our guttural groans... your hips slamming into mine... the bedpost slamming hard against the wall... the slick damp sound of your cock sliding against the lube... your balls smacking against my perineum.

It's an obscene cacophony, and I fucking _love it_...

"YES! _Fuck_ me, oh god, FUCK ME!" I howl. If I could, I would be pounding the wall until it cracked, but instead I just grip the headboard hard. As I beg and plead for more, I hear a loud snapping sound and feel the headboard come loose and fall with a clatter against the wall. You pause, and I laugh with shock. I look back at you with a sheepish smirk.

"Sorry, Sir..." I pant. "It was just... so _fucking hot_..."

 

 

_*What the*..._

_Oh._

_Oh you berk..._

_I can't help starting to giggle at your sheepish expression._

_"Mexican furniture... cheap shit..." I snigger. You smile, relieved - oh don't worry Tiger, I'll punish you sooner or later..._

_Well, that was a bit of a - break - but I am not stopping, not now - you can balance, can't you? Yeah, you're fine - I grab your hips hard again and get back into my stride, and soon have you groaning and writhing underneath me again, the broken headboard banging against the wall. It's a good thing we have no neighbours._

_"I'm getting close Sebbie... I want you to come now... Come for me, my Tiger... Come for your dark lord..."_

 

 

Well, at least you're amused...

it _is_ pretty fucking funny...

but it barely takes you any time to recover your composure, and then you're fucking me like an animal again.

Being attached to the broken headboard is a little more awkward but it doesn't matter because you're telling me to _come_ , thank fucking christ. I would have loved to have felt your hand on my cock, but I can do this, I've been on the edge all this time and trying desperately not to tumble over... I feel your hands grip my hips, your cock pounding me, your possessive words, and I'm done for... semen spurts out and I'm moaning in ecstasy and convulsing underneath you.

oh fuck...

 _Jim_...

 

 

_I feel you trembling underneath me, and that's all it takes to send me over the edge. It's so heady that the power of my words is enough to make you come... I can command you to come, and you do... My love, my Tiger, my husband, my Sebastian..._

_My body shudders as I pour myself into you, over and over._

_*God*…_

_Spent, I lean over your back... slowly slide out... drop onto the bed._

_Must free Tiger... Must not collapse into a blissful doze..._

_I struggle myself upright, more or less, and undo the cuffs around your thighs, then turn my attention to the headboard._

_"You tore the screws straight out of the wood," I marvel, seeing the damage you wrought. "It's good that you've bought nice restraints, but where are we going to find a bed strong enough to hold you in the throes of passion?"_

_You chuckle weakly. "We may need to have one made specially, Sir... It's a good thing this place has lots of bedrooms."_

_"Yes... well it's kind of expected one breaks a bed on one's honeymoon, right?"_

_I unshackle you and we fall into an untidy heap on the bed, limbs loosely entwined. I kiss your sweaty forehead, your nose, your lips. "I love you, my darling husband... Sebastian Moriarty, wrecker of headboards..."_

 

 

I snuggle up to you, nuzzling your face. "I love you too, my adorable dark lord... I don't think it's _expected_ to break beds on a honeymoon... but I'd have been disappointed if we didn't break _something_ during an epic fuck... my beautiful husband..." I whisper, and kiss you. "I'd say we're getting the hang of this honeymoon thing... let's see what else we can break tomorrow..."

The doorbell rings and I look at you in confusion. Huh?

It rings again and there's a pause. Then another ring, another pause, another ring.

The pattern... where do I know that pattern from...

"Who the fuck - ?" I ask, and get up.

"Don't answer it," you say, sounding lazy and unconcerned.

There's an alarm bell going off in my brain. I couldn't _not_ answer this door, any more than I could not breathe... I throw on boxer briefs and a t-shirt, grab a gun, and head for the stairs.

"Sebastian..." you call out. "What's going on??"

"Just - need to check this out..." I call back.

I go downstairs, eyeing the windows but I see nothing. Standing to the side of the door, I gruffly call out, "Who is it?"

"Sir, it's me. I need to talk to you." That voice... it _can't_ be...

I open the door slowly, gun in front of me. I peek out from around the wall.

It's him.

"Riley," I choke out. "What the _fuck_??"

"Didn't you get my messages, I've been trying to reach you for hours!" he barks and shoves past me. "Someone's put out a hit on you, Ukrainian mafia... they've tracked you as far as Mexico, so it's only a matter of time before they zero in on your location. I'm here to get you to a safe location, Sir..."

"Someone put a - what?! How do you know this?" I demand.

"Guys on the inside in other organizations, giving us intel - backed up by surveillance. How do you think?" he snapped. "Throw some shit in a bag and let's _go_."

"I can't just _go_ \- I've got -"

 _Jim_ -

My eyes swing up and I see you at the top of the stairs in your sweatpants. Your eyes are narrow, you're holding a gun, and you do _not look happy_.

 _FUCK_...

 

 

_My brain is jumping up and down and kicking me to *get the fuck with it, Moriarty*!!! and finally I do. I shoot upright in bed._

_That was a coded ring. Also, how the fuck did someone get inside the gates? Did we forget to lock them? And you *recognized* the code - that means - it must be one of your men. That *would* explain how they got inside the gates, but... What can be so urgent that they traced you and show up on your bloody sex holiday?_

_I rush into a pair of trousers, grab my gun, hear the last bit of the conversation._

_Oh no you're not..._

_I stomp down on the top step. Your guest dashes into view. Fucking gorgeous, of course. Tall, tanned, dark hair, muscular military type. Couldn't look less like me if you'd tried. I stomp onto the next step. His mouth drops open, his hand moves to his jacket pocket - "I don't think so, Bane. Keep your hands where I can see them." Stomp onto the third, the fourth. "What an unexpected surprise. " Stomp. "So nice of you to visit us on our honeymoon." Stomp. "Sorry Sebastian couldn't take your calls, he's been too busy having his brains fucked out." Stomp. This is a good place to stay. I have the overview, and the advantage of height._

_"I assume you were hoping that you would get that privilege, but sorry... once you go Moriarty, you can't ever go back."_

 

 

My mouth drops open as I watch you stomping down the stairs with your gun like a fucking badass.

Oh, shit... oh _shit_...

You let him live as a favour to me, while he was still someone theoretical in England... but now he's in Mexico in our fucking house... _Fuck..._

"Jim - " I say cautiously, just as Riley snaps, "Moriarty? But you're..."

Then he starts to laugh. "But you're _not_ , are you. Jesus... that's fucked up, man. He let you think he was _dead_ and then you took him back? And got _married_?!" He looks furious.

"We don't have time for this... for all we know, the Ukrainians are on their way. I'll get you both somewhere safe..." He shot a glare upstairs. "If you want him to live, that is?"

 

 

_"That's the power of love, Bane..." I growl as I step down further. "And the power of Moriarty. Who you do not want to piss off. Either of them."_

_I let him digest that - he's sharp. "Now. I know you have your eye on Sebastian. I can't blame you - he's fucking gorgeous. He also tells me you saved his life in Afghanistan. That's the only reason you are still standing. A life for a life."_

_I scrutinize his face - he looks confused, upset, but hides it very well._

_"Now - which Ukrainians are those?"_

_"Tsybulenko's lot," he answers._

_Could be honest. No clear traces of lies. But he's got a background in the military and in crime - he's probably as good as lying as you are, and I can only spot yours because of our years together..._

_I look at you. "Do you trust him?"_

 

 

I gesture helplessly. "With my life."

At this point, everything is pretty much riding on your sense of mercy - nope. Definitely not. Your sense of generosity to _me_ overriding your desire to smother the life out of anyone who you see as a threat. It's flattering, really - and mostly I wouldn't give a shit but I really, really don't want to see Bain face down in a pool of blood after everything he's done for me.

Fuck... why did he have to come here??

"Why didn't you just call me?" I demand, shoving my gun into the back of my waistband and raking my hands through my hair. "I could have _handled_ it..."

"They think they're taking the head of the organization out..." Bain glances up at you. "Well... who they think is the head of the organization, huh... you think they're going to send one guy? Or maybe a dirty dozen? So are we heading to the fucking safe house, or do you want to sit on your lovely patio and show me wedding photos?"

I cover my face with my hands. "Babe? What do you want to do?"

 

 

_"Have your fucking face blown in, darling... No, if you trust this guy, we go with him. Let's grab some essentials and get out of here." I can't let my own distaste for the man stand in the way of your safety._

 

 

"God, can't we have one motherfucking quiet day!!!" I shout to the ceiling.

I glance at Bain who's staring at me in disbelief. "Yeah, shame they didn't wait for you to be done honeymooning, but you know these Eastern European mafia types - no consideration for people's sex lives."

"Sebastian!" you snap. "Get up here - NOW!"

Oh god... I make a beeline for the stairs.

I hear Bain make a whipping sound, and I turn back and shout back furiously, "Not the fucking time for this, Bain! Do you have other men at your safe house?"

"No, I thought I'd take on the Ukrainian revenge brigade by myself to show you how hot I am," he snaps. "Of course I have men with me - ten at the safe house, and two in the car outside. So that matches their number, and then when you add the two of us..." he grins widely. "Well, you and I can probably take out twelve, but I thought I'd play it safe..."

I don't smile back, and he rolls his eyes. "And there's your darling husband, too. Looks like he knows how to handle a gun?"

"Well enough to take you out from our bedroom, and he has really good hearing, so I wouldn't tempt fate any more than you already have," I warn and return to my ascent up the stairs.

I find you throwing clothes and heavy artillery into suitcases with a look of fury on your face.

"Jim, I'm so sorry... I don't understand why he would come here in person..."

 

 

_I raise my eyebrows. "*Really*, Seb? You don't understand why he would want to make a dashing rescue of the darling in distress in person? I'll let you think about that in peace, shall I?" I snarl._

_I have most of your arsenal in there, some clothes - no idea how long we have to stay there - and *FUCK*!!! I don't know what's pissing me off more, the fact that your fucking pretty boy showed up here in person, or the fact that our paradise has been compromised - our Mexican home, the place where we felt safe for the first time in god knows how long, the place where we laid our souls bare on the beach, where I baptized you, where we exchanged rings, where we explored the realm of the dark lord together..._

_We'll have to give it all up, sell it, buy you a new villa with the proceeds... but it's not going to be our sanctuary like this was, for all of a few days..._

_*Don't get fucking sentimental, Moriarty.* Survival first. Then we'll look at relocation._

_I cast a last quick look at the bed, with its broken headboard - our honeymoon bed... *Stop it*..._

_I throw on a light suit. You raise an eyebrow, but don't question - I need my armour against your shining knight, alright?_

_Both armed to our teeth, with more arms in our suitcase, we make our way downstairs._

 

 

Things could not be more tense in the bedroom, and I get that you're furious, but it hardly seems fair - it's not like I _wanted_ him here!! But why I keep expecting fairness from you, I have no idea...

Downstairs Bain is pacing, looking grouchy as hell. Yeah, I know the fucking feeling, buddy.

That should indicate something about relationships, that I'm more stressed out about your frame of mind than twelve murderous Ukrainians converging on our home.

Oh right, murderous Ukrainians...

nope, still more upset about you. But I guess I should start thinking about the wrath of the Ukraine to ensure our survival...

"All right. Where is this safe house?" I demand.

Bain explains the location, and we head to the car, you walking slightly behind me. I look back at the villa... it feels so wrong to be leaving... I don't want to be leaving!!

I catch your eye and you seem not just furious but mournful. Shit... _shit_...

I clench my jaw. Fuckers. Are. So. Dead.

 

 

_I get into the back of the car, Bane gets behind the wheel. You are smart enough to get into the back with me. We peel off, the other car following us._

_I glare out the window at the Mexican landscape moving past._

_Stop mourning your fucking villa._

_Stop being jealous of your Tiger._

_That is not how you got to the top. You got to the top by outsmarting everyone else, and not letting your feelings interfere. Feelings are all well and good, but they have their time and place, and it's not now and not here. You are in a conflict situation. Priority 1: Keep Tiger safe. Priority 2: Keep yourself safe. Priority 3: Find out who is hunting us and eradicate their threat._

_You can let your feelings join in once you have got past priority 3. If you have them - by all means let your feelings play along in disposing of them in creative and interesting ways. But not a second before then. Getting emotional takes brainpower that you need to function optimally, Moriarty._

 

 

I'm clenching my jaw, and forcing myself to unclench it.

But then I just start gritting my teeth.

All I want to do is to take your hand and tell you I love you more than anything, but I don't think that's a good idea right now...

"You know I feel nothing for him, right? I only want you... it's not even a question to me..." I murmur in your ear.

I see Bain's eyes on me in the rear-view mirror, and hear him bark out a laugh.

"That's sweet, man... So Mr Moriarty, sir... I'm on the look-out for a long-term commitment, and I'm wondering how you do it. How do you inspire such loyalty and passion when you walk out on someone and let them think you're dead? And what exactly did Seb do to make you punch him out?"

I stare at the mirror in horror. " _Jesus Christ_ \- shut the fuck up if you want to live to see the next minute! And don't you fucking say another word to Jim! Our relationship is _none of your business_..."

"Oh, really? Well it was my fucking business when you were crying in my arms, remember that, Seb? How could you not, it was two bloody months ago!! And now you're _back_ with him, what the fuck is wrong with you??"

"NOT another bloody word, or I will shoot you myself. You don't talk to him. You don't look at him. He is _not_ your concern - _I am_..." I roar.

 

 

_"*Enough*, both of you!" I snap._

_"Bain. I don't think you *quite* realize, but *I* am in charge. I am also the scariest motherfucker you will *ever* meet, and the fact that you saved Sebastian's life does *not* make you invulnerable." I let my eyes shine in the rear-view mirror._

_"You ask me how I inspire such loyalty and passion in Sebastian? Well, Bain... you'd have to be the most dangerous man he's ever seen..." I lean forward, move my face close to Bain's neck, his ear..._

_"... and keep him on his toes, constantly... you'd also have to take him to the limits of rapture and then push him off into the abyss, time and time again... because, you have realized, Bain - Sebastian is not a simple human. He is the strongest, brightest, fastest, smartest, sexiest person you'll ever meet. So I understand you falling for him - who wouldn't? And trust me - I won't hold it against you. Even him kissing you - you both thought I was dead. It's understandable._

_*But*... You trying to undermine my marriage while I am *alive* and *right here* will not go down well. So if you want to survive this car ride... you shut your pretty mouth, or you don't want to see what it will look like when it gets out of this car... comprende?"_

 

 

He raises an eyebrow and lifts his hands of the wheel placatingly. "Shutting up, Sir..."

He takes a cigarette out and lights it. "Ciggie, anyone?" he asks. "No? Jesus, you could cut the tension with a knife... relax, you two. I was just looking out for my old friend Seb here... he was in a bad way last time I saw him. And I was a bit concerned about all the marks and dried blood, but - hey, what you two do in the privacy of your home... your call, man..." he mutters. "We're almost there..."

I cover my eyes with my hand. If Bain survives long enough to get out of the car, I'll be shocked.

 

 

_That's enough._

_That's more of a challenge than I've ever taken from anyone._

_I dive between the seats and onto Bane's lap. He curses, tries to look past me, but I move my head to be in his way. He hits the brakes, but I grin - "Where's the fun in *that*, Bane?"_

_I kick his foot off the brake, push mine onto the accelerator. "What the fuck - what are you *doing*!" he shouts. I laugh in his face, wrap my arms around his neck. "What's the matter, Bane - can't keep it straight with a little distraction?"_

_His arms are on the steering wheel, desperately keeping us on the road. The car behind us is flashing its lights, and Bane's phone starts ringing - it looks like they're getting a trifle concerned._

_Bane keeps trying to see past me; I allow him just enough vision of the road to not drive us straight off a cliff, but keep shoving my grinning mug in his face enough to unnerve him._

_"You're getting us killed! Get off me, you crazy son of a bitch!" he's shouting._

_"Yes!!!" I raise my arms. "You hear that Sebbie, he's got it! I'm crazy! Took him long enough!"_

_I pluck the cigarette out of his mouth, take a draught myself, then push it into the centre of his chest. It burns through his shirt, and he shouts, but good soldier he is, he doesn't let us slip off the road._

_I take my foot from the accelerator, kiss the tip of his nose. We are braking quite dramatically, and I swerve back onto the backseat. We come to a halt on the side of the road._

 

 

"What the fuck! You could have killed us all!" he shouts furiously.

Heart pounding, I grip the back of his seat. "You were told to keep your mouth shut, soldier," I snapped. "You're _lucky_ to still be alive, and honestly, I don't know how long that's going to last at the rate you're going! Now for god's sake, _shut the fuck up_ so I don't have to watch your face get blown off!"

"Jesus, man," he mutters, staring at me in disbelief and shock. Hurt flashes in his eyes. "Fine... I won't say anything...fuck!"

I don't respond as I'm watching the two men from the other car who have got out and are rushing towards us.

"What the hell is this now?" I demand, pulling out my gun.

"Is everything all right, sirs?" one of the two asks crisply.

"Oh, peachy. Bain was just demonstrating a defensive driving technique. Would you like to learn?" I ask sharply.

I hear a familiar sound and the man stares directly above me. "Uh... Sir?"

I get out of the car and look up to see a helicopter approaching.

"Motherfucking Christ..." I mutter.

I look at Jim and Bain so we can quickly spring into defensive action - but Bain is staring behind me.

A van comes careening down the street. It stops, and men with black masks and semi-automatic rifles come pouring out. There's shouting in Ukrainian. By now a voice is coming from the helicopter and we're told to throw down our weapons before we all get killed.

Well. Fuck...

 

 

_Oh. Oh fucking *great*. Oh well done Bain - at least you were truthful and not just trying to steal my Sebbie off me. Or both. Anyway._

_Shit._

_I hate it when people come to kill us on our honeymoon._

_I should have let Bain take us away immediately and not wasted time._

_I must identify myself immediately so that they understand their hit should be on me and not Sebastian._

_I must negotiate smartly so that maybe they can be convinced not to kill either of us._

_We fucking *promised*... only about an hour ago..._

_My heart aches. I look at you, your face so worried - about me -_

_No. No heart. Not now. You need to be all brain, Moriarty; if you are to have any chance to fulfil your promise._

_I mouth "I love you," and step out of the car, raising my hands._

_Close my eyes. Icy spark in the middle of my head. Expand. Cold clarity. Open eyes. Observe._

 

 

Think Seb, _think_...

Only... there's not a lot that can be done with the threat of a fucking helicopter above us.

The best shot we have is to get away from it, even if it means being taken away in the van. We've been in fucked up situations before and got out of them...

Fuck...

 _Jim_... you're stepping out of the car with raised hands, and my heart is practically in my mouth.

Bain curses, and throws his gun away from the car, and I do the same.

"Sorry, Sir - we'll figure something out..." His eyes glint dangerously as a masked man approaches.

"We know you and we know you," he speaks in a heavy accent and nods at me and Bain. "You, we don't know..." he jerks his chin towards you.

"Moriarty." You say, with all the menace and madness that comes with the name. "And you are?"

"Moriarty," the man repeats. "You are - dead, no?"

You look around. "You mean this is heaven? Or is it hell? Either way, I'm _disappointed_... But I'm the one you want."

"No, he's _not!_ " I snap. "Moriarty is dead, and this little twink is just someone I've been fucking... stop playing games," I say, glaring at you. "Before you get yourself fucking killed."

The leader shrugs. "He's not, he is... makes no difference to me." He gestures at the masked men to come and they use zip-ties to fasten our hands behind our backs, before patting us down.

"Just let him go," I say through gritted teeth. "He's got nothing to do with this..."

The leader jerks his head, and two men grab you and start pulling you towards the other car our men had been in. They are on their knees on the road.

"What the fuck - " I lunge towards you and get yanked back. "Where are you taking him?!"

"You are very attached to your... _twink_..." the leader says, with an amused twist of his lips. "But all things fade..."

"Baby!" I scream, as I thrash in their iron grip. "Remember your promise!"

You look at me with sadness and worry, but underneath there's a cold, furious determination that I recognize as the reason Jim Moriarty always wins, no matter what the odds appear to be.

I turn to look at the leader and give him my death stare. "If any harm comes to him... If _one hair on his head_ is out of place... I WILL END YOU."

There's a flicker of fear in the leader's eyes - it's enough to sustain me until I get myself free. I get dragged towards the van, and I hear Bain behind me, cursing at them and being punched.

"Shut the fuck up," I hiss at him. I'm going to need him to get out of this and get to you.

I'm shoved onto the floor of the van with Bain. Two armed men sit with us on the floor, while the other four sit in the seats.

"Where are you taking us?" I growl.

The leader sits in the passenger side next to the driver. "You know better than this, I think. Quiet, or we gag you next."

I stare hard at Bain. We've been in more fucked up situations, too. C'mon, man... _let's do this_.

 

 

_*Twink*?!_

_I’m going to kill you if we survive this, Seb..._

_*Seb*..._

_No. No heart. Close that shit down, Moriarty. You need to be all cool calculating steel now._

_They’re taking me into a separate car from you and Bain, or the other two guys - why?_

_They zip-tie me too - amateurs. That’s the problem with these Eastern European upstarts, all brawn and no brain._

_“So, where are you taking me? I assume you understand it’s me you want, and not Moran? Or is it too hard for you to comprehend changed circumstances?” I ask in Russian._

_“Shut up,” the guy replies._

_“I see they selected you for your eloquence as well as your good looks, what good fortune!” I smile._

_He backhands me across the face. Oh, bad move, darling... I’m going to kill you first..._

 

 

Bain stares back at me, and pointedly looks around the van. I take a breath to steady myself and start scanning to devise a plan. If Bain and I simultaneously break out of our zip-ties, we can each take a man sitting on the floor - normally I would just open the back door and roll out. But I need to stay with the leader as he bleeds so he can tell me where they took Jim.

The point is, the longer we drive, the farther we get from Jim.

My eyes return to Bain's. I make a quick gesture towards my back and he nods slowly.

I mouth _3-2-1_ and our arms lift up and come down hard. The cable cuffs break, and we're lunging at the men, neutralizing them and grabbing their guns. We haul them in front of us like human shields as the men in the back seat start to shoot. Bullets zing and the leader starts to shout but his men are already dead. I shoot the driver in the head and the van wobbles wildly. The leader curses in Ukrainian and grabs at the wheel, screaming and careening to the side of the road. By the time it slows down, Bain and I have already jumped over the seat and have our guns trained on him.

He looks back at us shocked, his hands still on the wheel.

"Where are they taking him?" I demand.

"I - don't - "

I shoot him in the leg and he shrieks as he sees blood flow out onto his trouser leg. My voice becomes a murderous growl. "I am well aware of all the points of your body that will cause you the most pain... _Where are they taking him_."

 

 

_Do I kill them now or do I wait to see where we’re going? Best wait... they might have their boss there and he might be able to explain where you are and why they want you dead all of a sudden. I had an OK relationship with Tsybulenko Before... what have you done to piss him off? And how can I make him scared enough to make him back off?_

_We turn into a gravel road, stop at an unlit house. The three thugs drag me inside and take me into a basement, tie me to a pipe, and bugger off._

_“Call your boss and tell him you’ve got Moriarty! I’m sure he’ll want to speak to me!” I shout after them._

_Fucking thick as pig shit, these three._

_I get out of the zip tie - honestly, there’s videos all over the internet on how to do this; don’t they have internet in Ukraine? - and sneak round my cell. A grating that can be removed with a bit of effort. A door that is locked, but the hinges don’t look too solid. A screwdriver that can help remove the grating and hinges, and be driven into someone’s eye. A hammer - oh god guys, do you even want to live?_

_For now, I’ll sit back and wait, though... if they do contact their boss, it’ll give me a stronger position for negotiation if his minions are still alive._

_Though with idiots like these, Tsybulenko is better off with them dead, surely..._

_I’ll give them a few minutes. They might be making me food. I do love a good borscht..._

 

 

I yank off his mask, and throw it at his face. He flinches, looking terrified and sweaty.

"If I tell you, you will set me free - " he says shakily. "Swear this to me!"

I shove my face into his, showing him my killer smile up close and personal. "You'll be set free when I get him back unharmed. _I swear_. Now where _the fuck_ are they taking him you _little worm_."

He divulges the location, and I shove him into the back of the van.

"Cuff him. And watch him." I snap at Bain. "Do _not_ kill him or let him get away in case he was lying. And if Jim has been harmed, I'm going to start ripping pieces off him starting with his balls."

The man blanches and Bain raises an eyebrow, looking like he wants to say something.

"Did I give you an order?" I shout, and his eyes widen. " _Move_."

"Yes, Sir," he says, coolly and professionally. "Don't worry. We haven't been gone that long. We'll get him back, Sir."

I jerk my chin towards the back of the van, and Bain gets in. He cuffs the bleeding man, trains his gun on him and sits down next to him. "Good to go, Sir."

I storm around to the driver's seat, get in and slam the door.

In the driver's seat, I feel tears blur my vision for a moment. If anything happened to you, baby... _If anything happened_...

I roar my fear and rage and helplessness towards the ceiling, and pound the steering wheel in a frenzy. Then I glance back at Bain who looks deeply troubled.

"Sir... are you -"

I take a deep breath. "Just preparing myself."

"For _what_?"

"To be the hand of fucking God," I snarl, and peel away from the shoulder of the road.

Hold on, baby... _I'm coming for you_...

 

 

_Right, it's been fifteen minutes and I have not had any borscht yet, nor apologetic phone calls. Time to go and enquire, I think._

_I put my hands back around the pipe, the screwdriver in my left, the hammer hidden under my trousers, and start singing the State Anthem of the Soviet Union at the top of my voice._

_This proves effective in summoning a guard, who shouts something at me that I cannot hear because I'm exhorting our free motherland to be glorious a little too loudly. He stomps down the stairs, lifts his arm to backhand me again - oh, it's you again? I *said* I'd kill you first! This pleases me inordinately - and I ram the screwdriver into his eye. He goes down. I make a strangled sound in the middle of the triumph of communism, like I'm being shut up, and listen - no other sounds._

_Slowly I take the gun from his holster, toe off my shoes, and sneak up the stairs. Sounds from a video being watched on a mobile phone come from around the door; a bottle is being placed on a table. The room into which the basement door opens looks dark, with light coming in through a doorway. I look through the gap between the door and the frame, and see an adjacent room with two guys sitting at a table. One's looking at the video, the other one is scrolling on his phone. Guns are lying on the table. Damn. I'd like to keep one alive, but I can't risk either of them grabbing a gun. I'm a good shot, but not good enough that I can kill one and break both hands of the other, or whatever magic you would be able to perform..._

_Best not take risks._

_I creep round the door, shoot first one, then the other in the head, press myself against the wall, listening if I can hear anyone else in the house. All is silent except for that fucking video._

 

 

"So - strategy time," Bain calls from the back. "The only weapons we have are four semi-automatic rifles - and we have _no idea_ how many guys there are... I recommend we meet with my guys from the safe house first. They can bring us more weapons."

"We're not waiting," I say in a low voice, eyes on the road.

"OK, then what do you suggest we do? For all we know there's a dozen guys in there with heavy artillery..."

"The longer we wait, the greater the chance he gets killed!" I snap. "It's not like we haven't done this kind of mission before..."

"Yeah, it was just never about rescuing your goddamn _husband_ before..." he mutters.

My eyes snap to the rear-view mirror. "What the fuck was that?"

"Nothing..."

"No, I'd really like to hear it..." I growl.

My eyes slide down to the Ukrainian bleeding onto the floor of the van. He has an 'oh, shit' look on his face, and I could almost laugh at the absurdity. Except that I'm _fucking furious_.

"Are you shitting me right now? Are you letting your personal feelings get in the way of this mission?"

Bain held up his hands. "No, _of course not_ \- but I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time processing this!! You were one step away, man... _one step away_ from blowing your fucking brains out over this guy. And after everything he put you through, when he waltzes back into your life, you - _marry him_??”

The Ukrainian looks back to me, his eyes wide.

"I'm going to say this once," I say with warning in my voice. "This is not up for discussion, and I don't need your approval or your understanding... I just need you to do your fucking job. You work for the organization. Jim _is_ the organization. You report to me, and Jim is my top priority. So do what you were hired to do and help me get the head of the organization and the love of my fucking life _back_... got it?"

He nods. “Got it, sir... We'll get him back, don't you worry."

My eyes return to the road. I look with worry at the clock. It's been fifteen minutes since they took you away... if this was a straight, simple hit, that was more than enough time to - I bite back a curse.

All I can do is hope that they're curious about your miraculous return to life, and that they want to interrogate you. Maybe they'll even be waiting for someone big to arrive. Someone whose head's about to be blown from his shoulders.

We're closing in on the place.

"I assume you want to park a ways off and not just drive right up and ring the doorbell?" Bain drawls.

"Jesus... were you always this obnoxious?" I ask, pulling up behind some bushes. "Make sure Ivan the Terrifying is secured."

"Secured," he responds with a grin. "C'mon. Let's go be white knights..."

"Jim is no damsel in distress..." I mutter. "We survey the grounds, see how many men they have, and go in hard and fast."

"Just the way I like it. After you, Sir..."

I shake my head, and exit the van with a semi-automatic rifle in hand, and one strapped to my back. Low to the ground, I advance on the house...

 

 

_I switch off the noisy comedy and have a look around. The place doesn't look lived-in - the room is empty except for the table, four chairs, and a fridge. The other guy's phone is open to a soft-porn page - nothing of interest there. I open the fridge, take out a beer, open it, and have a long draught. Yuck. Cheap cat piss. You would drink this._

_*SEB*... My heart jumps, hoping it is allowed to have its say now, and my stomach twists itself into a knot that has nothing to do with the bad beer._

_No. No heart business yet. We keep cool, and calm. First: Check the rest of the house, and any side buildings. Someone may have been alerted by the shots and be making their way over here right this moment._

_The house is small - two more rooms, both bedrooms, and a bathroom; all dusty and empty._

_I remember there’s a shed though. Chances are very small someone would be in the shed, but there's no harm in being careful._

_I make my way to the window, peer out between the gap in the shutters. Nothing._

_Wait - did I see movement? I squint - was that - that clump of grass moved - wait, that's no grass, that's a - soldier -_

_*SEB*! No - wait - that can't be Seb -_

_Like fuck it can't be Seb. If it could be anyone it could be Seb. Someone behind him - that Bane guy?_

_I look - fucking hell. It is Seb._

_*SEB*!!! My heart jumps up and fuck me if *tears* don't spring to my eyes because I've been worried *sick* about you without letting it enter my conscious mind all this time and *SEBBIE*... You've come to rescue me... You incredible badass hero that you are..._

_I have to suppress the urge to just call out your name and throw open the window, because it would be awfully ironic if you were to shoot me._

_Instead I just set myself on one of the vacant chairs under the light, feet nonchalantly on the table, so I'll be the first thing you see when you come in - provided you choose the front door, and don't bash through the window... though without special combat gear, that's probably not the wisest course of action. A shame, it would look cool..._

 

 

It takes every drop of discipline I have to not run in guns blazing...

_Jim..._

You have to be in here, you _have_ to be...

Right. Perimeter sweep - gather intel, assess and neutralize threats. Circling the property, we find nothing.

Strange. I start to worry we'll find nothing inside...

_Jim..._

We approach the house. Bain and I fall back into military gestures and reading each other's faces and body language. We take cover in bushes to assess what's inside.

Again, we see no one and no sign of anything suspicious... or even occupation, really.

I nod at Bain, who nods back.

I try the door and find it unlocked. Huh?

I'd be getting suspicious that the place is rigged to explode, but - I'm feeling the strongest pull to open the door.

And the one thing I've learned in my colourful journey from military commander to career criminal is to trust my gut over standard protocol. It's one of several reasons why I'm no longer a military commander, which used to be such a pernicious _wound_ to my psyche - but my path led me to _you_ , my beautiful love... and in the end that's the only thing that matters to me.

So when _that feeling_ tells me to open the door, it comes as almost no surprise to see you sitting at the table, grinning fiercely.

 _Almost_.

_"Jim??"_

I break out into wild laughter, despite myself.

"You scary little fucker... get over here!"

And then you're throwing yourself at me and I'm kissing you with one arm slung around your shoulder. The other arm holds the gun and my eyes remain open and scanning the house.

Seeing nothing, I spare a moment to stare intently into your eyes. "You OK, baby?"

I hear a creaking floor, and turn to see Bain staring at us in disbelief.

"Told you we'd get him back," he says, with a half-hearted smile. "We need to get out of here, _now_..."

 

 

_I had been planning to say something snarky like 'What took you so long?' or 'No rush', but the moment I see you walk in my throat seizes up - god - Sebbie - you amazing, amazing Tiger..._

_You burst out laughing and I launch myself at you - it's not even been an hour, but it's been the longest not-even-an-hour of my life. I don't approve of this getting separated thing. If we keep killing the people who attempt it, hopefully at some point they'll get the hint..._

_Bane is behind you and spoils our victory fuck before we've even begun by being irritatingly sane and right. I sigh, hug you tight, and let you go._

_"Have you got a live one with you?"_

 

 

“Ivan the Terrifying... silly thing somehow got shot in the leg, so he’s just taking a breather in the van. Fuck, I missed you,” I breathe and press my lips longingly to your forehead. It’s not what I prefer to kiss, but business first.

“May I escort you to your Ukrainian death-mobile? Maybe we can find someone to run over... you’d like that, wouldn’t you, baby...” I say, gazing at you with adoration. We walk to the door with an arm around each other like bad-asses, while Bain trails after us looking grouchy. When we get to the door, I sorrowfully let go so I can be ready for trouble.

“Let me go first, Sir,” Bain says politely, but you can practically hear frost forming in the room. As long as he can keep from mouthing off to you again, maybe he’ll survive this day.

He passes us, scans outside, and pushes the door open. He gestures and we follow silently.

 

 

_I'm getting the feeling Bane is less than delighted that you've found me alive. How rude._

_We get into the back seat of the van. The Ukrainian guy in the back goes wide-eyed when he sees me. "Hello!" I smile. "I'm back. I didn't like being separated from my husband. I'm terribly sentimental, sorry..."_

_Bane gets behind the wheel and tears out of the yard. I fall against you, decide it's comfortable, so stay there._

_"Do you know of a place where we can get another car? They'll have a tracker on this one._

_Sebbie, shall we use the downtime to interrogate our friend here?"_

_I smile into the back, my patented Moriarty smile - he does not look pleased to see it._

 

 

"Yes, Sir," Bain replies. "Same place we got the car, about twenty minutes from here, I think."

There's a slight edge to his voice every time he speaks now - at least he stopped being an arsehole to you, but talk about playing Russian Roulette with your life... at least with Russian Roulette you have a 5 in 6 chance of _not_ being shot in the head. Mouthing off to Jim Moriarty are odds no one should play... except me, of course. But even with all the times I've come close to being shot, I've always proven to be the exception to the rule (thus far)... which I'm guessing is why you married me, you adorable psycho.

I look at you with affection and my fingers lightly caress your neck as you prepare to play head games with our bleeding friend on the floor. Twenty minutes? Shiiiit... sorry, Ivan...

You should be paying attention to this, Bain... this is why you _don't fuck with Jim._

 

 

_I crawl over the back seats to have a closer look at our friend._

_“What’s your name?” I ask him in Russian. “Oleksiy,” he replies, guardedly._

_“Right, my friend. We’re going to play a little game, to pass the time. It’s called ‘you tell me exactly what I want to know and I don’t hurt you’. You know this game? You like it?”_

_He glares at me. He obviously doesn’t know this game._

_I reach behind his back, to his bound hands, and dislocate the top phalanx of his middle finger. He screams and curses._

_“Of course if you play the game wrong, the bit about not hurting you doesn’t apply. Got it?”_

_“Fuck! Fuck you, you arsehole!”_

_... it appears he doesn’t get it. Of course, a dislocated phalanx hurts. A lot. Increasingly._

_I reach around again and reset it in a sudden sharp shock._

_“There. Fixed it for you. Now, next time you answer a question wrong, I’m going to dislocate that one again. And then another one. And another - you have so many fingers!!!” I exclaim delightedly._

_“Now. Who sent you?”_

_“Viktor Tsybulenko.”_

_There’s something wrong. I’m not sure what, yet, but I have fifteen more minutes to find out._

_“I’m intrigued - Viktor and I always got on well. Why did he want Moran?”_

_“I don’t know - honestly, I don’t. I was just told to deliver him.”_

_“I better ask him then, shall I?” I pull his phone from his pocket. “Passcode?”_

_“What do you want with my phone?”_

_Not the right answer, Oleksiy... I reach for his hands again, but he shouts “3705! 3705!!”, so I unlock his phone instead. I scroll through the contacts - no Tsybulenko. Not under ‘Viktor’ either - you never know; it’s not like I’m in Seb’s phone under ‘Moriarty’._

_“Where’s our Viktor?” I ask, holding up the phone._

_“I... I’m not in direct contact with him,” he stumbles._

_Something is off... I could take my time, but we don’t have a lot to spare, and this is about *my fucking Tiger*._

_I reach around for his hand again, ignoring the unpleasant descriptions of my mother, and dislocate three or four bones._

_“Now, Oleksiy...” I say, my face near his, “something is wrong with what you’re saying. I could keep asking until you run out of fingers, or you could save us both some time and tell me now. Because you see, Moran is my husband... and there are *no lengths* I wouldn’t go to to find out what’s threatening him._

_So, do you want to find out how creative I am, or...?”_


	5. Collateral Damage

_He's sweating, tears are appearing in his eyes - yes, this is painful, isn't it? I reach out again -_

_"No - no, fuck it, I swear, I don't know - I just got the order from the organization - get Moran, don't kill him - if anyone asks, Tsybulenko ordered it - please, I know no more than that..."_

_Oh? Oh - *interesting*..._

_I reset his bones - he's been a good boy._

_I wonder how much you two understood..._

_"Did you get any of that?"_

 

 

I'm watching in fascination as you do your thing. And I can see the direction you're heading in... huh.

And then - the bomb.

Their mission was to take me. Not kill me. And - Tsybulenko didn't order it, it would appear...

"Yeah, I got it..." I answer you. "Curiouser and curiouser..."

I turn to Bain. "What do you make of that?"

His brow is furrowed and he glances at me, looking perplexed. "Fucking weird, man. Sorry, I didn't have time to do any digging - I heard about a hit and I just assembled a team to get you to safety."

"So, Oleksiy... you weren't going to kill me. Did you have any orders about the man I was with?"

Because he wouldn't have known about Moriarty...

No one did...

"Him - we kill. Make it look like collateral damage in taking you. But we didn't know who you were!" he shouts at you. "We knew _nothing_!" A fresh layer of sweat breaks out on his forehead.

So... take me to some other location. Kill the man I was with. Why the hell would someone go out of their way to kill someone I was on a sex holiday with?

"Well... the good news there is the Ukrainian mob doesn't know you're alive, or our location..." I say slowly. God, if we do a clean sweep of everyone involved in Mexico, does that mean we don't have to leave our villa?

You're being ridiculous, Tiger... I chide.

 _I don't care, I don't want to go!!!_ I yell back at myself.

You're watching me with curiosity.

"So if it's not Tsybulenko... Any thoughts, babe? Because I'm coming up empty..." I say to you, running my hand along the rifle.

Slowly I become aware of a prickle in my scalp, and a murky thought swirling around in my mind and for some reason I feel almost afraid to look at it...

 

 

_Fucking special forces training and their linguists. I was hoping Bane might not know Russian. Might not understand all that Oleksiy has revealed to me._

_"Where are the two other guys, and your men who took them?" I ask Oleksiy._

_"They are in a basement; we were to keep them for a day, then let them go."_

_"Did you tell anyone you found Moriarty?"_

_"No, I was going to phone the organization and ask what to do with him... with you. You'd probably be worth good money, no?"_

_"Thank you, Oleksiy. You've been very helpful. The job is off now - well done, you did what you had to do."_

_I jump over the back seats, between the front ones, back onto Bane's lap. "What the fuck!?"_

_What, aren't you used to this by now? He hits the brakes - good. I've got his gun out of its holster and throw it on the back seat. Thank fuck you're so incredibly attuned to me that you connect the dots and raise your own gun, almost against your will, at Bane._

_Poor thing - you look shocked._

_I'm sorry, Seb. I really am._

_"How pathetic is it to rob a man of some guy he's obviously grown fond of and put him in a life-and-death situation to make him fall for you?" I snarl in Bane's ear. "Imagine your little ploy had succeeded and they'd killed me - *actually* killed me for real now - how the *fuck* do you think Seb would have felt?!_

_Please, life-saving army buddy. Please. Look him in the eye and tell him why you think that was a good idea."_

 

 

My gun is trained on Bain, but I have no idea why.

 _What - the fuck - is happening_??

The prickle in my scalp, the slippery thought in my mind...

No...

NoNoNoNoNo.

NO!!!

"Riley - _no_ \- tell him you didn't..." I plead.

" _Of course I didn't_!!" he shouts. "If you're going to throw fucked-up accusations my way, have some fucking proof!"

He headbutts you and throws you hard into the door.

Then he pulls another gun out of his boot and points it at me. I'm sitting frozen in the backseat - I could have taken him out but his words have thrown me. Riley would never - would he???

He jumps out of the van, looking hurt and furious. "Sorry, man... not willing to die for a fucking theory," he says, backing away with his gun trained on me.

You pull yourself up from the door where you landed, looking murderous. Your forehead is swollen and red and you have blood on the bridge of your nose.

Bain pulls out a grenade and yanks out the pin, holding the lever in place. "I go, we all go..." he says, smiling sadly.

He continues to back away, holding the grenade in one hand and his gun in the other.

"Riley..." I say, my voice growing steely. " _Don't_ \- " I move towards the front seat.

" _Four seconds, soldier_!" he bellows, throws the grenade into the front seat and tears off.

Everything slows the fuck down. I go flying into the front seat, grab you by the lapels, and pull you with me. I bear down on a boulder like a goddamn freight train, and then I'm flying over it. As we land, I throw my body over yours.

There's the _BOOM_ that I can hear tearing through the van, and then there's an explosion of the van's gas tank and everything is fire and searing heat. There's the _whoosh_ of shrapnel flying over us. I'm coughing as I try to breathe, and this lasts for what feels like an eternity. But then the heat starts dying down, and I peek over the boulder. The van is a smouldering wreck surrounded by blackened dirt and small fires. There's a groaning metallic sound and twisted shards of van everywhere.

I look back down at you, wrapping my arms around you. "Baby? Are you alright?" I demand.

Blood is trickling down from the bridge of your nose. But you don't look injured... you look _livid_.

"I had the kill shot and I froze... I didn't want to believe it," I whisper brokenly. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart... Let me kill him for you..."

 

 

_*He*._

_*Hurt*._

_*My*._

_*Seb*._

_*Nobody* hurts Sebastian. And if they do, they are incredibly sorry and spend their life making up for it._

_And in your case, Bane, that life is not going to be very long... so there better be a damn lot of suffering._

_“After him,” I growl, coughing. Every second he has on us he’ll be harder to find, and I want him now._

_“Run, Seb. Get him alive if you can, but don’t take risks.”_

 

 

I groan and throw myself into a run. Chasing down one of the people I trusted most in this goddamned world so I can deliver him to you for terrible retribution... is _not_ what I thought I'd fucking be doing today.

And I may feel conflicted...

but despite what he said, the dots all _connect_...

I run past the smoking devastation around the remains of the van and Ivan the Terrifying...

There was no reason for a hit to be placed on a random man I was with, unless someone had an agenda...

_What the fuck were you thinking, Bain??_

I let out a roar, furious and anguished, as I run.

I hear your footfalls a ways behind me.

Past the smoking van, I see a wide expanse without a lot of cover. But we'd been in far worse circumstances than this in special forces, outnumbered and outgunned, and got away from our pursuers.

So now it comes down to one former special forces soldier against the other...

one fighting to escape certain death, the other fighting out of a sense of betrayal, and most importantly, fury, and protecting _Jim_.

Because I might have been able to get past betrayal, Riley...

But when you went after Jim, you _fucked up_.

I picture what it would have been like finding my Kitten dead and bleeding.

I picture the helicopter returning and gunning my Kitten down.

A wave of red passes over my eyes, and I feel my heart pounding, and rage burning through me.

I scan the landscape and see a figure disappearing into a copse of trees.

I look back at you, and gesture sharply in the direction I'm heading.

Then I burst into an even faster run and enter the zone where I am no longer Seb, but _your Tiger_.

 

 

_Yes, I see him. I stop running, get behind a bump in the landscape - I can't see him any more, and it's not beyond him to stop under the cover of the trees, look round, and shoot me._

_That said, he might shoot you as well. But - I somehow think not. I sure as hell hope not._

_I hate myself for stopping, leaving you to take care of things -_

_But what else can I do? If I call you off and he gets away, we'll not be safe until we've found him. And if anyone can get him, you can. And he's way more likely to shoot me than you._

_But it's so fucking terrifying to see you running off with no armour, no way that I can *protect* you -_

_I’m about to call out to you, tell you to leave it, come back, here in my arms, where it's safe, but you've reached the trees, and have disappeared..._

_… Santa Muerte, Lady of Death, compassionate one, caring for the outcasts, the criminals, the killers... please, Lady, keep your Sebastian safe... he is yours, you know him, you recognized him... I'll bring you tequila, the best I can find, the most beautiful roses, exquisite perfume... Please, Lady, bring him back..._

_Ugh. Prayer. The ultimate tool of the impotent._

_Still - Lady, please..._

 

 

I melt into the forest, slipping through the trees silently. The stillness is unearthly.

I employ every military strategy I have, every killer instinct - but he has the same goddamn ones, and I don't want to be out here circling each other for hours while you wait without protection.

I've _had it_ with this day, and I want to be back safe and sound with you in our villa. I want to take a bath with you, and feed you fruit and chocolates, and get drunk, and be thrashed, and taken like a rent boy, and howl like an animal, and break another bed, and fall asleep watching Game of Thrones. And if that means tracking down and executing seven Ukrainians, a helicopter crew of two, and one former army buddy, _so be fucking it_.

Fun and games are over. Let's _do this_.

"Riley!" I roar. "Enough of this cat and mouse shit! Get your arse out here and let's settle this - in a manner befitting SAS soldiers."

I feel him listening... I move my head about as much to listen as to see.

"Or maybe you're just a _coward_ , Riley..." I call out, making clucking noises.

"A manner befitting SAS soldiers?" I hear his voice to my left and my head swivels in that direction. "Not all of us had the honour of a dishonourable discharge, Commander..."

I laugh. _Hooked_. "Only because you didn't get _caught_..."

_Pause_

"Well, _that's_ true... so, gonna try to kill me? All to make your honey happy?" His tone is scathing.

I slowly inch towards his voice. "You tried to have the love of my life _killed_... that's not something _either_ of us could forget."

"So you're defending your cutie-pie's honour? That's sweet, man..."

"No, I'm making sure the world is safe for Jim... one killer at a time."

"Aww... what a romantic you are. Can you just answer me one thing before you come at me? How did you forgive him for pulling that shit with faking his own death? I'm just _dying_ to know... Tell me that and I'll come out to settle this honourably. No grenades, I promise..."

Fuck... I could just keep tracking his voice, but if he does have more grenades, I don't want to have to outrun another kill zone.

I rake my hand through my hair. I don't want to fucking talk about this!! Especially with a disembodied voice in a forest... this is starting to feel like fucked up therapy... what is about Mexico that keeps dragging me into fucked up therapy sessions involving nature and guns??

 

 

_I don’t hear shots. I don’t hear anything. Then I hear your voice._

_I can’t make out what you’re shouting, but it sounds like a challenge._

_Then nothing. Again. Or wait - I think I hear voices - do I? Angry voices - have you found him?_

_I can’t *do* anything - why can’t I *do* anything?! What use is my massive brain if I am unable to use it to save the man I love!?_

_There is nothing._

_Another killer side effect of love. Worry._

_And ‘what if’. What if he gets shot and you did nothing. That hurts, unbelievably much._

_But it’s the strategy we decided. It makes sense. From a crime boss and bodyguard perspective._

_It tears the heart out of the loving husband._

 

 

I make a strangled sound. "Because - because I really didn't have much of a choice, OK?! The choice was made for me!" I grit my teeth as I hear laughter. "Not by _him_ , you arsehole... by me! Sometimes a person does terrible fucked up shit, and love means you have to deal with it and move on. Because you either move on and have them in your life or you don't and you're not together anymore. No matter how fucked up it was, that was not an option for me. Are we finished with this now? Get the fuck out here!"

"So doesn't that mean you should move on from what _I_ did?" The voice is curious. "After everything we've been through?"

"You tried to have the man I was with _killed_!" I shout. "And when you realized it was Jim and we were married and we were happy together... you didn't call it off!"

He laughs. "Got me there. Why would I have called it off? Guy seems like a dick. I think you can do better."

" _Not_ going to happen..."

"Well, not _now_... your husband is a clever little thing, isn't he. Shame about the mental health, though... "

"Yeah, you're the picture of mental health! We made a deal, Riley! I talked; now you come out!"

"You really gonna try to kill me? What was all that talk about love and forgiveness?" His voice is mocking.

I clench my jaw. "As long as you're alive, Jim isn't safe."

"As long as he's alive, _I'm_ not safe. And to be honest, the fucker just rubs me the wrong way. _Someone_ needs to put him in the ground."

I suck in my breath, and feel the anger rise up in me again.

 _Good_.

I inch towards the sound.

"What are you gonna do, Commander? Throw yourself at me? I have grenades, and you don't know what else... you know better than that."

"Then come out and face me like a man, soldier..." I hiss.

"Yeah? You think you can take me, old man?"

Jesus, I'm 42 and I'm a _living weapon_... why is everyone trying to shove me into a rocking chair all of a sudden?

"Christ, Bain... you think _a few years_ will give you the edge?" I laugh loudly. "I admire your confidence! It's fucking adorable."

_Pause_

"So that's your approach, huh... draw me out by taunting me?"

His voice is still mocking, but there's a tightness to it now.

I grin.

"If I have to appeal to your lily-liver, your yellow-belly, and your chicken-heart, so be it."

Slowly a figure appears from the trees. He's smiling angrily.

"Son of a bitch. That shit really works..."

"Doesn't it?" Furiously I smile back at him.

Our guns are trained on each other, and we're watching each other warily.

"So this is it... you want a showdown?" His eyes flash. "I'll give you a showdown. Between the two of us, I've always wondered who would come out on top..."

Was it always going to end like this? The two of us facing off against each other in a secluded wooded area? On my _honeymoon in Mexico_? While Jim waits behind shelter for me to possibly _die_?

_Jim..._

I think of you - hearing shots fired, not knowing what happened... panicking and waiting for me, only to have Bain emerge from the woods with you as his target. He could call his men to this location... he could call the helicopter... I picture all of them converging on you all at once, and you weeping and mad with grief...

 _JIM_...

I am _NOT_ letting it end like this for you...

and we _fucking_ promised...

"So what do you want, Seb - guns or fists?" Bain asks with a manic grin. "Cos I would _really_ enjoy going a few rounds with my former comman-"

I shoot him three times in the chest and dive for cover, noting his shocked expression.

I hear a thump on the ground. And from behind a tree I fire off a text.

_Almost done, honey._

 

 

_Three shots. One gun._

_Then nothing._

_Option 1) Seb shot Bane._

_Option 2) Bane shot Seb._

_Option 3) Seb shot at Bane._

_Option 4) Bane shot at Seb._

_Options 3 and 4 mean they'll be engaged in some way, so not likely to look at the open field. Option 1 means it's safe to run over there. Option 2 means it's not safe but I don't give a fuck - I'd rather die on the way there than have to find Seb dead. And if I survive the run there and the fucker is otherwise occupied I might even get to avenge him._

_All this crosses my mind in the time it takes me to shoot upright and dive from behind the bump, and I'm running across the field as fast as I can, which is a lot faster than I've ever run before. I dive into the trees -_

_Nothing._

_No, of course not. You're looking for an SAS man._

_I stand still, look, listen -_

_when suddenly -_

_"Jim?"_

_I dive into the direction of the sound, to see you appear from behind a bush –_

_SEB –_

_I crash through the undergrowth and throw myself in your arms. "Seb! Oh god Seb... Are you alright? Are you safe? Is he gone?"_

_"Jim - yes, yes, it's alright, I'm fine, he's down - I sent you a text -"_

_"Fuckers took my phone before they locked me in the basement - were probably worried I'd call their mum to complain."_

_Tears are streaming down my face - Seb. Seb's alright. He's alive. He's in one piece. Not even stabbed._

_"I'm so sorry I let you go after him alone - I know it's what makes sense - you'd be distracted - trying to protect me - but I felt so useless sitting there doing nothing..." I cry._

 

 

"No, my angel - it was the right thing to do; it was fucking close even for me," I soothe, and kiss your forehead. "I was just about to check the body when I heard you; just let me-"

"Love made you a damn fool, Commander-" a faint voice says.

I raise my gun but not before I see a knife come shooting out at you, and Bain on the ground behind a tree.

_JIM_

The next moment is an eternity...

I could jump in front of you, and then I'll be stabbed...

I could knock you out of the way, and Bain may still be alive enough to kill you or me or both...

Or maybe I could...

Could I?

Yes. That one...

I shoot the knife, which goes careening against a tree.

I jump for a clearer shot and whip my arm down to shoot Bain - I aim for his forehead, but he's moving and I get the side of his face.

His head falls to the ground.

"Stay back," I growl at you, and slowly inch towards the tree...

He doesn't move.

When I reach him, his eyes flicker open. His face is torn and bleeding profusely. He doesn't have long now...

"We know - how this contest ends now..." he rasps.

I crouch down. "Was there ever a doubt?" I'm furious, but I feel frozen - I still can't believe what's happened, and I can't believe I'm watching this.

"I think - 50-50 shot... but for what it's worth, Seb... I'm glad it was you who took me out. Sir." He gives me a bloody grin, before he gasps and jerks, and is so still, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he's gone. But I still check his pulse before I'm convinced.

Then I sit on the ground heavily and stare blankly at the trees.

I would cry, except the motherfucker doesn't get _one_ of my tears...

I reach out, close his eyelids, and feel like I'm closing the book on the past. "Clean death, soldier. We're even."

I turn to look at you. My future.

You're watching from behind a tree with an inscrutable expression.

I smile at you tremulously, and before I know it I've hauled myself up and I'm running to you.

And you're running to me, and we collide, and you're in my arms again.

"Jesus... Jim..." I whisper into your hair. "Was _this_ supposed to be our quiet day??"

 

 

_A voice -_

_You raise your gun -_

_The clang of metal on metal, metal on wood, you jumping out of my arms -_

_I fall to the ground, because it's what you do when you're being thrown knives at, even though I want to wrap myself around you to ward off anything that is coming your way... you shoot -_

_he falls -_

_you go to him -_

_NoSebbieStayHereSebbieDon'tRiskYourselfSebbie..._

_He gives his dying speech._

_I'm sorry Seb. This must be so hard for you._

_You trusted him so much, I almost wanted to trust him... thought maybe it was just my jealousy, maybe I could overcome it and trust him - for you... prove to you that I am not a monster..._

_But it turns out he was._

_We rush into each other's arms, *again*, and you whisper, being brave, but I hear the tremor in your voice._

_"Seb... Sebastian..." I stroke your hair. "If you want to cry for him, it's alright. I won't mind. You thought you had a friend, a brother - and he betrayed you. You must be so hurt..." I'm not good at empathy but I know a bit how people function, and I think this must be right - you were always my blind spot - I couldn't scrutinize you like I did others; what if I discovered *feelings*!? But I'm getting better at it; I'm starting to read some of your feelings - but it's different; I feel them myself - and I feel hurt *for* you, now. So - that means you must feel hurt, yes?_

_I hate the fucker who hurt you - but that doesn't mean that you can't grieve for who you thought he was._

 

 

Jesus... I was trying for bravado, and you saw right through me...

And... were you just guiding me to feel something for the man who tried to kill you?? What's happening to you??

I can't think any further because I'm shaking against you as I rest my head on your shoulder. Then I'm sobbing and sliding down, and you're supporting me as I go. We're both sitting on the ground, arms still around each other, and I'm crying my heart out onto your shoulder.

"Why - why would he do that, Jim? If he cared? Why would he try to take you away from me??"

I weep and weep for a friendship lost to treachery, and for a time in my life gone by... until eventually my sobs quieten. My breaths are shuddery as I lean against you, my arms squeezing you so tightly.

I look up at you, my face wet with tears. "I was thinking... if he'd wanted to kill us both, he would have thrown a grenade. I think he _did_ feel something for me - something strong - but it got so twisted... Why do you think I keep attracting psychopaths?" I laugh through my tears, and touch your face.

"I'm sorry, Jim... I told you I trusted him with my life. It didn't even cross my mind to question if I could trust him with _yours_... and then I hesitated in the van... it's all just _so fucked up_." I shiver and hug you close. "All I want to do is _go home_... and - we have all those Ukrainians to execute, and - I don't know that we can trust the men at the safehouse." I sigh heavily.

" _God_... can we just check into a hotel and have a shower and order room service and then decide what to do??"

 

 

_“Sebbie...”_

_Right, empathize, you bastard. Your husband is sad. Do something._

_“If I had come back to find you with him... happy, married, kids, golden retriever, the works - I’d not have hesitated to kill him. Because - the bible says love isn’t selfish, but none of us are Sunday school boys. We’re bad men, and greedy, and we want what we want._

_*Now*, now it’s different - if you’d say now you’d want to leave me, I’d be sad, but I’d mostly want you to be happy. So - I guess I made some progress. But - that’s only in the last two weeks._

_What I’m saying is, I can get what he was thinking. He wants you; he has some indication you like him - go and get you. Then to find that you’ve given yourself to the worst person imaginable - I guess he felt he was saving you from your own poor judgement. Your white knight.”_

_“That said, he’s a bastard and a psycho - obviously - but I can see where he came from. I’d have done the same, not so long ago._

_You... no. You’re too good. You’re too good for either of us, and neither of us deserve you, but I thank my lucky stars every day that you decided to overlook that for me.”_

_I go to Bane’s body, look through his clothes until I find his phone, scroll through it until I find a Ukrainian-looking name, look at sent texts. Yup, that’s them. I read through them to get a feel for the language used, then send a text:_

_‘Goal acquired, but nine agents decommissioned. Retract others. Terminate prisoners. Send invoice to this phone.’_

_“I hope that’ll work...” I sigh._

 

 

I listen to what you say, in awe, still sitting with my head on your shoulder. I know I’m an exception, but still - this is far more empathy than I ever expected from you... far more than I ever thought you could feel, let alone show.

What has love done to you, my beautiful psychopath?

As much as I hate what’s happened, I feel somehow as though I’ve received a rare gift. And I will keep this experience of you in my heart and treasure it... especially when you’re acting like a prick. I smile through my tears.

I watch you busy yourself with Riley’s phone to fix this mess. “If anyone can do this, you can...” I murmur, getting up.

“Thank you for everything you said, baby. That helps more than you know...” I wrap my arms around you and kiss your lips. “But... in this insanely hypothetical situation where I left you, you wouldn’t stalk and kill my romantic interest and abduct me? What have you done with Jim, you monster?” I say, shaking you gently. “I’m almost disappointed... but I appreciate that, darling. When it comes to you, I’d rather be abducted than left alone. Because clearly I’d be suffering from temporary insanity and need supervision,” I chuckle.

“God... I hope the fuckers get back to you fast. Jim... whatever we need to do to make it safe to return to the villa, let’s do it. I’m not willing to give up my home with you...” I say fiercely, raising your chin with my finger. “I just killed my former best friend to protect what we have... Let’s _end_ this and go home.”

 

 

_"Well. I probably would. I mean - I can be grand and magnanimous all we like, and I do want you to be happy - but I'm a moody fucker, and I don't think it'd take longer than a week for me to come after you, shoot everybody within a 100-yard radius around you, and lock you in a basement. And then probably cry about it the day after. It's so much easier *just* being a bad guy, you know? This whole caring lark is *really* draining._

_Sebbie... when you were in these trees, and I was staying back... that was murder. I was *so* worried. I kept wanting to go after you, even though I knew that would put you *more* at risk. And I kept thinking those 'what if' scenarios... what if you get killed and I'll never see you again..._

_Fuck, Seb... I love you, but I hate love sometimes. It hurts so much - especially the guilt and the worry. Please don't make me worry again..."_

_Bane's phone buzzes. I look at the text._

_'Understood. Invoice will be sent tomorrow.'_

_"I guess that means we're safe... still, I'd rather not go back to the villa just yet, in case no one has told the guys in the helicopter. Let's walk to the road, call a cab, and head to Chetumal, get a hotel."_

_I look up at you, your beautiful blue eyes wet with tears. I hug you close._

_"I love you, Sebastian... whatever happens. I always will."_

 

 

“I love you too, my angel... for always. And yes, love is just the worst,” I say cheerfully, as I wipe my eyes. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to go against my nature and not do violence to you, my sweet. Hotel sounds perfect. I think I could sleep and eat and fuck for a week solid. Just give me a second...”

I return to Bain’s body, gaze sadly at him. I crouch down to search his pockets and find two more grenades, which could come in handy.

“Goodnight, soldier...” I whisper. “I guess thanks for trying to save me, you stupid shit. Sorry I had to kill you, but you’re not the only psycho in these woods. But you knew that, didn’t you. Godspeed, Riley...”

I salute him, and stand up. I take your hand and pull you along with me.

“I’ll make an anonymous call to the police so they can pick him up. Then I guess I can pretend to be a friend he was travelling with so I can identify the body and make arrangements to ship him back home - better than an unmarked grave in Mexico... But for now... I’d rather just think about us again...”

I squeeze your hand as we leave the forest.

“Yes, it’s definitely easier being the bad guy... in your little scenario where Bain was the white knight, that would make you the villain and me the damsel in distress... or gentleman in distress, maybe? And in our world, of course the white knight gets killed by the gentleman, who’s all furious and ‘I know what the fuck I’m doing!’... and he and the villain live fucked up and happily ever after... now _that’s_ my kind of love story. I’ll try very hard to stay out of trouble and not make you worry again, baby...” I say, beaming at you as we walk hand in hand.

 

 

_"Anonymous call, fine, but you're not talking to the police pretending to be someone he travelled with. Much too likely to suspect you. He's got his dog tags - that's the handy thing about you soldiers, so easy to identify._

_We'll also have to get rid of our three Ukrainian friends in that abandoned house. It was quite a remote area, so I'm sure we'll be alright leaving it till tomorrow."_

_I use your phone to call Eduardo and ask him to send us a car - calling a cab from the middle of nowhere while standing next to a burnt-out car wearing clothes covered in blood might lead to all kinds of uncomfortable questions that I'm not in the mood for. I ask him to get us some clean clothes and baby wipes as well. He chuckles, wants to know if I've been a bad boy - for once, I haven't, but I don't really fancy a long discussion on the matter, so I just snigger and let him think what he will._

_We sit behind the knoll for a bit, your arms around me, me caressing your hands, your beautiful strong precise hands, which have killed so many for me... but I don't think any kill has ever been as hard on you as today's._

_It only takes forty-five minutes for a car to arrive with suits in several sizes - bless you, Eduardo. Cheap suits, but miles better than my blood-soaked beautiful tailored cream linen that is probably unsalvageable. The driver also shows us a suitcase each that we can take so we look like bona fide business travellers - upon inspection they contain toiletries, T-shirts and tracksuit bottoms, flip-flops, socks and underwear in different sizes - Eduardo, you're a saint._

_We strip out of our bloodstained gear and clean ourselves up as much as we can with wet wipes, then get into the clean suits and the car. The driver takes us to Chetumal, where we check into the perfectly anonymous and soulless City Express._

_I collapse onto one of the beds. "Not a par on our Guarida del Tigre, but I'm so tired I could sleep anywhere - but first let's have a shower. I feel filthy."_

 

 

“I’m with you, baby... shower first, then sleep like the dead,” I sigh, and extend a hand to pull you up from the bed. You reach out your hand and I draw you towards me. We stare at each other for a moment, and I kiss you on the lips before pulling you with me to the bathroom.

Once inside, I start the shower to heat up to a level suitable for you. While we wait, I peel off my clothes; then I remove yours, kissing each expanse of flesh bared.

You watch me closely, and I smile at you and pull you into the shower.

I bathe you and then myself slowly, languorously... as if we’re somewhere timeless. When we’re clean, we stay in the shower holding each other, and then I kiss you - questioningly at first, and then more deeply.

“It’s good that we promised...” I murmur, stroking your face. “That was a way closer call than I feel OK with. But I meant what I said - I will always come back to you... and I will _always_ come for you...” I whisper, seeking out your lips with mine.

 

 

_"I know... when I was looking out that window, and saw someone approach - my first thought was - it's Seb. Second thought was - it can't be Seb, he's miles away, he got taken away by six gunmen - and then I realized that *of course* it was you. That six gunmen and miles were *nothing* for you to dispose of to get to me._

_I was so... fucking... worried..."_

_Tears start to stream now, because the clampdown on emotions can be let go, and they want to be felt –_

_so they can be postponed still? That's good to know. That it's not a choice between no emotions ever and emotions all the time - you can tell them to not happen when they're not wanted, when you have to be in killer and planner mode; but they'll come around later. Convenient. If you don't have a choice on *which* emotions to feel, which apparently one has not, then at least you can not be overwhelmed by them when you need to keep a clear head._

_"I was so worried about you... Bane said it was a hit on you - I thought they might have just taken you someplace quiet and shot you... and I'd never see you again..."_

_I'm helplessly sobbing against you as you hold me under the hot water and my tears are washed away as soon as they form. I wonder if the grief is washed away at the same time... It does seem to get less intense the more I cry and the more I feel myself relax in your strong supportive arms._

 

 

“It’s OK, baby…” I soothe, kissing your face over and over again. “I was completely panicking about you, too. Bain wanted to go by the safehouse for more men and weapons, but now I realize -“ I shake my head angrily. “I’m so _fucking_ glad I didn’t listen… although in the end, you had taken care of your captors just beautifully,” I break into a big smile as I remember, and hold your face in my hands. “I was expecting a gunfight and there were you were, cool as you please, with dead Ukrainians on the floor.”

I laugh, and go to wipe the tears from your eyes but I can’t tell where the tears start and where the water begins and in the end, it seems like you’ve stopped crying – so I dry us both off, and we climb naked into bed and wrap around each other’s bodies snugly.

"I love you, my angel..." I whisper. "I can't wait to go home..."

 

 

_"It was so close, *again*", I sigh. "Will this ever fucking *stop*, and leave us alone? What fucking use is having all the money and power in the world if it can't keep my husband safe?"_

_It seems to come round and round to this, doesn't it... And then when I think about how to keep you safe I realize I can't; not with our lifestyle, and I can't change our lifestyle..._

_Well, we can eliminate one threat at a time. Like we eliminated Bane, who has been a thorn in my side since I first heard about him... can't say I'm sad he's gone; though I'm sorry for you losing someone who was close to you - worse, to find that he betrayed you..._

_And we can not look for trouble, James Moriarty, like wanting to shoot at your husband and then go start bar brawls where he gets hurt. Don't you ever forget that you are the biggest risk to Sebastian. And that's something you *can* influence._

_I crawl as close to you as I can, your arms around me, our chests touching. It feels essential; our hearts beating together, some of the tension I carry inside me dissolving in your embrace._

_I didn't expect to fall asleep quickly, but I do._

 

 

I think that I’ll stay up for a while to listen to you breathing, and think about what happened today. But my eyelids start drooping and then they close and I think, _just for a minute_ and then I feel myself tumbling…

Only to wake with a gasp. I’m supposed to be doing something to protect you, to _save_ you – I sit up, grabbing my gun and looking around the room frantically for threats.

_”Where the fuck – Jim??”_

You’re sleeping.

But why – hotel??

I see unfamiliar clothing thrown over a chair, and slowly, bits and pieces start clocking back into place. Clothing – Eduardo – wilderness – forest –

 _killing my friend_ -

 _fuck_ \- no, it's OK, he was trying to kill _JIM_

Ukrainians – lots of dead Ukrainians…

I remember the fake text you sent from Bain’s phone to shut down the job, and the response you received.

I sigh heavily and put the gun down on the blanket, then cover my face with my hands.

Are we – safe?

 _Can we go home_??

 

 

_You wake up - nightmare? No, unfamiliar environment. I don’t move - you have a gun - best to wait until you realize where you are and who I am._

_You sigh and put the gun down, so I look up, to see you sitting with your hands on your face - are you crying?_

_No, doesn’t sound like it... just upset and confused, probably? I don’t know..._

_Well, ask him then, Moriarty. It’s not hard._

_“Sebbie? It’s OK Sebbie, I’m here... we’re safe... we’re in a hotel until we can go back home... you remember? Are you OK? Are you sad?”_

_I stroke your hands, and you lower them, look at me._

 

 

I cover your hand with mine, and smile faintly at you.

“I remember, it just took me a moment to catch up. I thought we were still under threat. Yes, I’m OK and yes, I’m sad. I don’t think I’ll ever fully get over what happened... but everything you said really helped. Like you said, he wasn’t trying to screw me over or hurt me intentionally - he was just approaching things like a psychopath. He just wasn’t the right psychopath for me...” I ruffle your hair, and give you a lopsided grin.

“And as much as it sucked, I had to resolve the situation to protect us both. By any means necessary. And I’m good with that. I just want all this to be over...” I hold your cheek in my hand and stroke your skin with my thumb. “I want to go home, baby...”

 

 

_"Me too, my love... me too... And we will. I think the Ukrainians will have been called back by now. Even if they suspect that things have gone wrong, they'll choose getting paid over getting a risky revenge. We'll be home before you know it..."_

_Home. Your villa. Our honeymoon destination... it feels so much more home than anywhere has ever been._

_The London apartment we shared is gone - and rightfully so, it had too many painful memories for both of us._

_And that was the closest thing to a home I ever had..._

_I got attached to the villa... the mere thought that I'd never be able to go back had me so angry and sad._

_Not half as angry and sad as the thought that I could lose you though..._

_I crawl on top of you. I need to be so close to you that lying side by side just isn't cutting it. My body weight presses me down on your chest, and I feel your heart beat, strongly, reassuringly; feel your lips in my hair as you kiss me. I'm not sure if it's comfortable for you, but you don't complain, don't move, just keep nuzzling your lips against my head, whispering little things I can't hear, as I drift off to sleep, safe on my Tiger rock..._

 

 

A burden I feel I've been carrying finally drops away from me. I thought you were going to insist we had to leave the villa, and all because _my_ friend took it upon himself to kill you to win me. To hear you say that we can return means more to me than I can express at this moment... the tightness in my chest and jaw loosens, and I sigh heavily.

You seem lost in thought and don't comment. But after a moment, you're crawling onto me, and settling yourself on top of me.

You're all loose limbs and slow breathing.

And it's fucking perfect.

You don't respond when I kiss your hair.

Or when I whisper to you, "Kitten... you have no idea how happy this makes me..."

Or, "You're sleeping aren't you. Fine. I guess that means I make the rules. No leaving the villa for a week."

Or, " _FuckILoveYouJimI'mSorryYouIAlmostGotYouKilledI'mSorryYouHadToWorryIWouldNEVERLetAnythingBadHappenToUs_."

Or, " _IMeantWhatISaidJimNeitherOfUsAreAllowedToDieOrBeBadlyHurtThat'sAFuckingPromiseFuckILoveYouAngel_."

I continue to kiss your hair until I drift off breathing in your scent.

 


	6. Leave Us the Fuck Alone

_Somewhere in the night I must have drifted off you, because I wake up being the big spoon, my arm around your waist, my face near your back._

_It's light - the morning sun shines around the dark curtains. I look at the alarm - 11:32. Bloody hell. Glad I put the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door. It's very unlike either of us, to sleep so long in an unfamiliar environment. Shows that we were properly exhausted from last night's events..._

_I smile at that. Are we getting soft, Moriartys? Tired out after a few kills?_

_Though - it had been a long day... with Lady Death and all the sex *before* the running and killing... and then all the emotions that were tangled up with it..._

_Which reminds me - we have to get the Lady tequila, roses, and perfume. The best I can get. I don't believe in Saints and all that shite - but I don't go back on my word either. Especially not with one as formidable as her._

_You stir beside me, pull me closer to you by my hand, make a humming noise, move my hand to your morning erection. I grin - some things never change, do they, Tiger?_

 

 

I wake up to the feeling of you stirring against my back. I blink sleepily. You must have rolled off me as you slept.

I have no idea what time it is, but there’s light coming in from under the curtains - so I suppose we’ll be getting up soon and facing the day. Only - I need some time with you before we start determining any steps that need to be taken to put yesterday’s events to rest.

I look down at the location of your hand, and... it’s awfully close to some magnificent morning wood; maybe I should just let you know that’s there...

I pull you closer and then humming casually, draw your hand to the wood in question.

I hear you chuckle.

Aww... what a sound to wake up to.

I turn my head and see you grinning adorably. “Just what is so funny, Mr Moriarty?”

“Nothing. _You_.”

“Nothing funny about _me_. I’m deadly serious, and this is a serious matter. What do you suggest we do about it?”

You shake your head at me, but your grin grows wider.

“Right. That’s it. We’re taking matters in hand.” I roll onto my side, and press my cock against your hand.

You stroke me, snickering.

“Still laughing? I did mention being deadly serious, didn’t I?” I mock-glare at you and grasp your arse. “Oh god, you feel amazing, beautiful,” I groan as I fondle you.

 

 

_“So do you, Mr Moriarty...” I grin. Mmm, what to do with that magnificent erection... To be fair, you’ve earned a treat..._

_I slide down so my face is level with your cock, start licking, earning a pleased groan. A bit more teasing, and I put my mouth around you, push, making you moan. Mmm... sensitive morning Tiger..._

_I move your hand onto my head, press it down - I want you to guide me, fuck my face._

_I moan as I take you deep._

 

 

Oh...

 _OH_.

Now _this_ is happening... Usually first thing in the morning, it's me sucking you and making you moan...

OK, then! _Not_ complaining... this is... damn, this is so -

I groan with pleasure, my eyes closing.

You've moved my hand to your head, oh _god_ , so not used to that...

and now _you're_ moaning, and... _fuuuuuck_...

"Oh god... baby, you're amazing... oh _god_ , your _tongue_..."

I gently guide your head back and then slowly forward onto my cock.

I moan loudly, and the next time is significantly less gentle and slow.

 

 

_Yes, my dear... show me how you want it... let me give you the best blowjob you’ve ever had... my Seb, my love, my Tiger, mine, mine, mine..._

_Your fingers tighten and your moans intensify. I can’t speak if I want to do a good job, so I’ll just hum at you... you appear to appreciate it._

_I stroke your balls, your perineum, the inside of your thighs, your arse..._

 

 

God, your fingers are _everywhere_...

and _ohhh_ , the vibrations of your humming are making me lose my cool completely.

I'm fucking your mouth to such a beautifully obscene soundscape; the wet slick of your mouth on my cock, your humming, my grunting and moaning spectacularly throughout.

"Oh god... _god_... _Jim_ ," I groan. "I'm so fucking close, baby..."

 

 

_I'm not stopping my work to comment, so I hope that an affirmative hm-hmm is seen as representing approval. Come for me my husband, my hero, my Tiger. Come inside me, let me taste your pleasure..._

_I push my hand on your arse as a gesture that I want you to push, to thrust, to fuck my mouth until you come inside me –_

 

 

I'm so fucking turned on right now, pushing and pulling your head on and off my cock like I'd never dreamed I could do.

And I don't know what's different, because we've gone through more dangerous encounters and close calls than I could count - but there's something about this last one...

Maybe it's because I feel more bonded to you than _ever_ , more attuned to your body and your pheromones, like we're one being that's momentarily taking two forms. My impending orgasm is bearing down on me like a freight train. I'm gasping for air, and making sounds like I'm being gangbanged in a porno. Only all the 'actors' have your face.

"Oh fuck, oh _Christ_ , baby - I don't think I can -"

Suddenly I'm shuddering and howling out my pleasure, and it's like being hollowed out, forgetting everything that came before - there is nothing but this moment, all violent shivers and spurting and your beautiful, wet mouth on me.

"So good, baby," I groan, loosening my grip on your hair and panting for breath. "Oh - god - _fucking amazing_..."

 

 

_Wow - the sounds coming from you are astounding. I think I’ve heard you make every sound possible over the years - from mewls to roars - but now you’re so much freer, commenting while you’re still able, completely letting yourself go, not worrying about what I’ll think or say or do - and it’s marvellous. An unleashed Tiger is a force of nature that can only be regarded with awe and admiration._

_You’re pulling at my hair as your fingers clench in it, shuddering as your cock nearly chokes me, and I can’t express how much I love that; love your total surrender to your pleasure._

_I swallow every bit of you; keep you inside, keep sucking and moving my lips and tongue until you are incoherent, don’t stop until you are making pained sounds and pulling me off because it’s getting too much._

_You’re lying wide-eyed, open-mouthed, completely depleted, as I move back up, and I can’t help grinning like the cat who got the cream... and delicious cream it was._

_“Good morning, Tiger...”_

 

 

 _“I’ll say_...” I huff with amazement. “Good morning, Kitten... my beautiful, sexy, amazing Kitten... holy fuck, that was hot...”

I lift a hand to caress your hair, and then my arm falls back onto the bed. “Jesus, you sucked the life force out of me... I seem to have married an incubus. I should probably be concerned...” I yawn, stroking your cheek with my thumb. “But why start now? There are far more important things to be concerned about...” I roll up and push you onto your back. My hand moves down your abdomen and lower until closing on its prize.

“Mmm... what do we have here? I’d better take a closer look...” I grin and dive down to pounce on your cock.

 

 

_Ohh, Tiger... you don't have to reciprocate..._

_But you do, don't you... you're just too sweet to just let me hang... and you do love sucking my cock..._

_And you are *so fucking good* at it - I already was turned on by your amazing orgasm, and it doesn't take long for me to feel my own little death approaching, skilfully brought about by your miraculous mouth. I groan, dig my hands into the sheets - "Fucking hell, Tiger, fuck - you are *incredible* - Sebastian -"_

 

 

Hearing your groaning spurs me on and I suck harder. My hands grasp your arse firmly, and I take you deep into my throat.

Your keening orgasm makes me rumble with pleasure deep in my throat, and soon I'm hearing panting and whimpering as I continue to suck you. You pull me off you by the hair. I grin smugly at you, remove your hand from my hair, and push it down onto the mattress.

"Too much, baby?" I ask innocently, and lean over you. I dip my head down and kiss your lips.

"Considering everything that happened yesterday, it's been a _delightful_ morning. I have everything I need right here..." I kiss you again, and intertwine your fingers with mine. "But I wouldn't say no to a platter of bacon and eggs, and a pot of coffee to pour down my throat... Hungry, darling?"

 

 

_Fuck - fuck *FUUUUCKKKKKK*..._

_Oh god Sebastian your mouth - your mouth - oh my - I can't -_

_hngshnhmlghn..._

_My brain short-circuits, I can't do or think anything, until it's too much, you are too much, I pull you off; lie there much the same as you did not too long ago, trying to gather my mind from where it's scattered among the atoms of the universe._

_Being the insatiable Tiger you are, you're already on the next item on the agenda - food and coffee. Yes, I would welcome some... breakfast is well and truly past, so we'll have to order room service - what a shame..._

_"Yeah, I'll have eh - scrambled eggs on toast, and some coffee... You do the ordering," I wave my hand feebly towards the phone._

 

 

I grin at you, and roll over to the phone. I place our order, and then throw myself next to you. “Twenty minutes. I’ll just have to stop myself from feasting on your bones in the meantime...” I bite your neck, making you squirm and playfully push me away.

“SO, baby... anything else we need to take care of so we can go back home?” I ask hopefully.

 

 

_"Mmmm... sleep..." I mumble, oddly sleepy again after my magnificent orgasm._

_I drag myself to the edge of the bed, but my jacket is out of reach. "Get me my jacket - let's see if Ukraine has got back to Bane."_

_You get up, hand me the jacket, and I take out the phone. There are many missed calls, twelve messages, one from Ukraine - with an attachment. I open it. It's the invoice._

_"You're an expensive man, Sebastian..." I say, but I'm relieved. If we pay this, it means they're done and gone; job finished, heavy losses, charge more next time - except there won't be a next time._

_I pay the invoice via some complex routes that can't be traced back to anyone._

_The rest of the messages and missed calls are from Bane's men in the safe house. They're getting increasingly worried and frantic for him to call back._

_Now, I assume that he's not confided to his minions that this entire mission to rescue Moran was just a sick ploy to win his love; so presumably they believe that both you and he must have been captured or killed. Probably the latter, if he told them it was a hit on you. So they'll be laying low, and if they hear no news get back to London and squabble about who gets to inherit the Empire._

_That might actually be fun, but it would damage the business._

_"You better get in touch with Bane's men later - tell them he died during a gallant rescue or something, but he managed to save you; they go back to London, you are staying here for a bit. You'll also have to think of someone who can take care of things now your second in command is gone..." I sigh. I'm pissed off still, but also relieved._

_"I was *so* angry yesterday - not so much at Bane showing up at our house; I genuinely thought he was trying to rescue you, but at the thought of losing our home - the place where we had such amazing experiences together... I thought it was compromised, we'd have to sell it, and we'd lose it forever..._

_I can't wait to go home with you, my love..."_

 

 

I cover my face with my hand for the second time today, only this time it's to hide my tears.

But you're you and there's no hiding anything from James Moriarty...

"M'sorry, I didn't realize it was affecting me so much... the thought of losing our home..." I choke back a sob. "I feel like I would have never forgiven myself..."

I brush aside your reassurances that it wasn't my fault.

"I know, Jim... I know... It just shook me up more than I realized..." I sniffle. "The villa means _so fucking much_ to me. It feels like - I was reborn there. We went through _so bloody much_ there... So it's like the foundation for my new life with you. I know we won't be there all the time and we'll go back to London, and I'm fine with that. But I don't want to lose the villa. I want to go back as soon as we can..." I hug you to my chest and kiss your forehead. "God... I didn't fully realize how much had changed in the past couple of weeks, until we had to leave our cocoon..."

 

 

_"I don't like leaving our cocoon. Every time we do there's some disaster. Let's spend the next week curled up and cosy having quiet fucking days..." I sigh, stretching._

_"I really love our villa too. I think - it's the closest thing to home I ever had. The London apartment was - nice - but so tense. I was always *so* on edge there... we had great times, but also ones that - were really bad. And they haunted me._

_I'm sorry - I don't think I've apologized for blowing it up without consulting you. I don't think you mind too much - but I shouldn't do things like that. I think I'm learning, Sebbie. Bear with me."_

_You growl and I grin. There's a knock on the door - room service. You set up plates and pour coffee as I open the curtains to let the sun in. I'm glad we got fair weather again - it makes everything look so much friendlier, more hopeful..._

_You hand me a cup of coffee and wrap your arms around me. We stand looking at the sunshine on the net curtain, not speaking, just enjoying each other's warmth, sipping our coffee._

 

 

“Let’s eat before it gets cold, darling...” I kiss your hand, and pull you to our makeshift breakfast table. We settle in and start to eat. The food is good - we’re not in a particularly fancy hotel in the area we ended up, but after the day we’d had, neither of us gave us a toss.

“To be fair, Jim... no disasters happened when we went to the Santa Muerte temple. And we were trying to get away from an almost-disaster at home when we went for a motorcycle ride the first time...” I push a piece of bacon into your mouth and smile at you sweetly. “But cosy days sound good to me. And no, I don’t really mind that you blew up the apartment... but consultations about explosions aren’t a bad thing, sweetheart.” I wink at you and shove a rasher of bacon into my mouth. “Oh fuck, this tastes good... there’s nothing like killing piles of contract killers to work up an appetite, am I right, baby?”

 

 

_I'm glad you're focussing on the hired guns and not on your mate. I hum my assent and chew my bacon - apparently unlike the Lady Susan Moran, my mum taught me to not talk with my mouth full._

_"Consultations about explosions, noted," I say after I've swallowed._

_"And speaking of Santa Muerte - we'll need to take her some gifts." You look at me, and I see realization dawning on your face. Surprise first, then a big grin._

_"I didn't want to lose you. I resorted to the last hope of impotent people everywhere - don't snigger, you know what I meant. So - yeah. I prayed. Traded tequila for your life. And I'm not about to break my promise. She gets the best of the best. Because I did as well."_

_I bury my head in my plate of scrambled eggs._

 

 

I stop chewing so I can focus on not crying. Oh... you are so fucking sweet, Jim...

I reach across the table to squeeze your hand. “Thank you, my angel. Roses and tequila for the lady... the very best.”

You glance up and I grin at you, and continue eating. “And... speaking of the best... someone’s birthday is almost here...” I sing.

 

 

_"Birthday?" I look at you, stumped. Oh yes - I haven't thought about the date at all, but yes, it's my birthday one of these days. Not that I ever cared much - except when I did. I think once I demanded we make a big deal out of celebrating the day that James Moriarty entered the world - I must have been in a self-important phase. Most other times I just forgot about it. You never did, though... and always got me something really thoughtful and sweet. Diamond skull cuff links. An actual skull to go on my desk. Leather shoes made out of the skin of a guy who you'd shot after he'd insulted me. Human skin makes crap quality shoes, we found out - but it's the thought that counts. The guy had had a tattoo which was still visible on the shoes, and it made people shit themselves when I wore them. I smile at the memory._

_That means it's your birthday in a few weeks... I usually remembered. Got you a nice gun every time, as well as some other stuff. You always seemed inordinately pleased. I'll have to get you something *really* special this year..._

_Huh. Wait. We started talking about *my* birthday and now I'm thinking about you. I've really changed._

 

 

 _Shit_... it _is_ almost here... and I don’t have much time left to prepare. I already have orders in, but this latest incident really threw me off schedule. My lips twist into a wry, bitter smile. I can just imagine what Bain would have had to say - about me worrying that his psycho plan had interfered with preparing for your birthday.

 _You dumb fucking bitch... you are WHIPPED, aren’t you..._ I can see him shaking his head at me and smirking.

 _It’s called love, moron... but there’s plenty of delicious whipping, too..._ I smirk back at him in my mind and his image dissipates.

 _God_... is this part of the grieving process?

I see you staring at me, and I manage to shake myself out of it and grin at you. “Yes. Birthday. I’ll take care of everything, darling. But do let me know if there’s something in particular you’d like to do... hopefully nothing involving guns.” I drain my coffee and push my plate back. “Mmm. Breakfast good. Do you want to hit the temple on the way back home? Erm - not _hit_ the temple... you know what I mean... Or will you just give her an offering at home?”

 

 

_“I’d like to go to the temple... I’m not too sure how offering saints stuff at home works. Mam used to light candles... but I’m sure Adonia knows exactly how to handle it, and I don’t want to fuck it up.” Again I look away from you. I don’t know why it flusters me so, but I feel very self-conscious about my sudden bout of religion._

_It’s still all nonsense of course - but I made a promise and I don’t break my promises._

_We check out, stroll into town, get into an expensive-looking perfume store, where I explain that I want a high-class perfume for a very distinguished lady. The delighted shop assistant lets me smell several scents, and I navigate my way through her descriptions that sound as pretentious as wine tasters’ to a ‘spicy, musky scent with a touch of mischief, perfect for evening functions’. It smells delicious - I hope she’ll like it._

_We get some expensive tequila which the shop assistant assures us will make us happy without hangovers, so I’m sure she’ll be pleased about that. Finally we get a large bunch of roses. I feel like I’m about to woo some society chick - you joke about how I never got *you* such large bunches of flowers - and we take a taxi to ‘our’ town._

 

 

So, just to add to how bizarre the last couple of days have been... now we're _heading back_ to the temple in a cab, carrying expensive gifts for our death saint. We must look like we're going a-courting, with arms full of flowers and bags with tissue paper.

"I didn't think we'd be going back... and here we are... again," I say, amused. "I'm sure Adonia will be thrilled. Maybe Santa Muerte told her we were on our way.”

Indeed, Adonia does not look surprised when she sees us at her front door - only delighted and sly, as if to say, 'I knew you'd be back'.

She ushers us back upstairs, and I find myself walking behind you carrying roses and tequila for our lady.

 

 

_We enter the temple room. I'm glad it's only us there - I feel odd enough. Adonia says she'll get a vase for the beautiful flowers and disappears. I hear water running in an adjacent room._

_I look up at the Lady, unsure what to do. I don't kneel, alright Lady? I have the feeling you don't mind - you get me._

_Anyway, I want to thank you - I asked you to keep Sebastian safe, and he is still safe, so - if that's your doing, thank you so incredibly much. He is very precious to me. Please, if you can, keep him safe. He's your type - lethal, handsome, strong - and he likes you._

_So - as a token of my gratitude, and because I promised - I brought you some gifts._

_I hold up the bag with the bottle of perfume, not sure what's next. Fortunately Adonia comes in with the vase - I feel relieved. She'll know what to do. This is her daily bread and butter._

_She places the vase in front of the altar and smiles as you hand her the flowers. She removes the paper and elastic band, arranges the roses - they look beautiful._

_Then, still smiling, she silently takes the bag with the perfume out of my hand, folds back the tissue paper, takes out the box, opens it, and lifts the bottle of perfume. She undoes the lid and sprays some of the scent over the statue, then places the bottle on the altar._

_You hand her the bottle of tequila and she pours some in a glass that she also places on the altar, among other glasses holding spirits - the Lady likes her booze as much as you, by the look of it._

_She says a prayer, thanking the Lady for her blessings, asking her to look kindly upon her sons - us, I suppose - and to grace us with good health._

_Then she turns to us, still smiling. "You have seen her strength and power, then... I knew you would be back, but I didn't expect it would be so soon, and with such grateful gifts. I'm glad you recognized her influence in your life."_

 

 

“Lady Death? Well... I'd say we've been under the influence of darkness and death, one way or another, for our entire lives..." I smile wryly at Adonia. "Both of us tend to be sceptics about spiritual things... I can't speak for my husband, but I can honestly say I've felt more with your Lady than I have with anything or anyone else. So that's something..." I hesitate. "And - I'm glad the temple is here, so close to us - I have to admit, it's comforting. Please accept this donation... for the temple's expenses and for yours," I say and press a wad of cash into her hand. She barely lifts an eyebrow, only smiles graciously as she tucks it into her pocket. But then - given Santa Muerte's appeal to those who live on the edge, Adonia must have had criminal types making generous donations to her temple before.

I squeeze your hand and smile at you, feeling strangely lighter. Well, we can feel weird about this later or not... I for one am glad we came.

 

 

_"I don't believe in saints and stuff... " I say, more to myself than to Adonia. "I grew up Catholic, but I never believed in any of it. My Mam did. She loved the Virgin Mary. I always found it a load of superstition. And I still think so. But - I'm here, aren't I. So *some* part of me, somewhere deeply hidden, must believe that some of it may just be not entirely nonsense. It's probably the human urge to impose order on a universe we can't control. Our desire to influence those parts of our lives we have no say over... and the little imp of 'what if? It can't hurt to play safe...'_

_So when I was in a desperate situation, I prayed to the Lady. And the situation turned out for the best. And I know that was chance, and skill of those involved, and all that. But I made a vow to her, and apparently some part of me believes she heard me - and the first thing I wanted to do today was make sure that I kept my vow to the Lady._

_If I were a religious man, Lady, you'd be the one for me; no question. I'm not - but here I am, in your temple, bringing offerings. So - whatever little part of me hasn't been able to let go of that human compulsion for religion has been converted to Santa Muertism. Anyway. I feel like we understand one another. And - thank you."_

_Adonia smiles. I have the feeling she's heard it all before. I feel - comfortable, telling this to her. Well, to her Lady. Both of them._

_They say confession is good for the soul... though I doubt they were thinking of shy confessions of lingering religiosity._

_That's all you get, though, Lady. I'm sure you already know all the other stuff._

 

 

I listen with fascination. You don't divulge information about yourself - ever. Well, only to me over the last two weeks... But now you're sharing your views on spirituality and the universe with Adonia... you're talking about your prayers, and even mentioned your _mother_... I don't think she can possibly know what a big deal that is, but _it is_... It's less about your scepticism about spiritual paths, or the potential authenticity of the path of Santa Muerte... and far more about the trust you just placed in this woman by sharing of yourself. And perhaps that says more about how you feel about this saint, this temple, this priestess, than your supposed lack of willingness to take a leap of faith.

Because you just did, Jim. And I suspect it won't be the final time.

Adonia seems to understand all of this and says nothing about anything, just accepts our words. She doesn't try to convince, or promote.

So I feel safe in asking, "One more thing, Adonia... if I light a candle here for someone who died, will it... help their spirit along?"

She looks at me kindly. "Of course, sweetie. The Skinny Lady can help with all things for her followers, especially related to death. Wait here..." She goes to a table, brings back a black candle for me.

I light the candle, and speak to her inside my head.

"Santa Muerte - I had to send a friend to you yesterday..." I bite my lip. "And I need you to take care of his spirit. I didn't want to do it, but you know I would do anything in the world to protect Jim. No matter what. But I feel guilt and anger and pain and it's hard to know what to feel when I feel _so much_... please, Skinny Lady. Look out for Riley Bain and help him along to wherever he needs to go. He's like us - one of yours, whether he knew you or not. Please help him to find his home, at last."

I wipe my eyes, and put the lit candle down in front of her shrine.

Adonia smiles at me, while you look at me with concern.

We make our farewells. Adonia doesn't mention anything about when we may see each other again, simply throws her arms around us, tells it was lovely to see us, gives us each a kiss on the cheek... and calls us La Flaca's Boys.

I have a smile on my face as we're leaving and I have no idea why. I'm just glad we came here...

I sigh as we go down the stairs, feeling like we've finally resolved the events of the last day.

I take your hand when we're outside and kiss it. I don't give a fuck if anyone sees it. You’re my man and I nearly lost you - again. If I want to kiss your hand outside the temple of Santa Muerte, I fucking will.

I look at you and sweep you into a cinematic kiss on the lips. You look up at me in surprise and delight.

"Let's go home, baby..." I murmur, and we hail a cab. My heart beats faster the closer we get to the villa.

 

 

_I can see you are thinking about Bane, and I feel a stab of jealousy. But I don't act on it, so that's progress, right? I'm being a good husband._

_Though I don't see why you are having to pray for him. He wanted to kill me._

_Yes, but that was to help Seb..._

_Fuck help Seb. He wanted Seb for himself._

_Wouldn't you have done the same?_

_... Look. Since when do I have a conscience? I thought I was clear that any and all sympathy and sentiment were to apply to Seb alone. I can't go around empathizing with all and sundry; I'll never get anything done._

_So - sympathize with Seb then. He had to kill his friend._

_WHO WANTED TO KILL ME!_

_YES, that's why Seb killed him! But they had a lot of history together and it makes sense that he misses the man he used to know. He's dead, let it go._

_I grudgingly agree with myself. Do normal people have those arguments in their brain? I'll have to ask you one of these days..._

_As we get outside, you seem much lighter - that is good at least. You enfold me into an extravagant kiss in the middle of the road, which is daring, but pleasant - it does seem like that prayer has eased your mind, so I'll tolerate it for that at least and stop arguing with myself._

_Yes, let's go home..._

_It feels so good to near our place. I missed it, even though we've only been away one night. I'm so glad we won't have to leave it..._

_We stop half a mile off, walk the rest of the way. Soon we round the corner and see our villa. Your villa, technically, but then we didn't do prenups, so..._

_You stop me as I start walking towards the gate. "Let me do a sweep first, baby..."_

_I want to protest, but I know it makes sense. Except that I'm at least as observant as you are, if less good at keeping hidden, so I want to sweep too. You protest but I don't give in - I will not stay hidden while you go into danger again. It's the worst feeling in the world. Finally you give in and help me get across the wall - it's high and has shards of glass in it; there's no way I would have got across without your aid. You go through the bushes first, I survey the house, but spot nothing out of the ordinary. The problem is the cleaners - I know people have been here, but I can't see if they were on legitimate business or if they're sitting in there with a gun waiting for us to come back._

_When you've reached the side wall, I follow you. We split up; you go round the front, I round the back. Again, nothing suspicious, so we take a door each – you the front, I the back, sweep the entire house – nothing._

_I breathe a sigh of relief._

_“You better get in touch with Bane’s people and explain that he’s not coming back and they can leave. I’ll get in touch with Ukraine – those two guys who took the guys in the other car away know I’m alive. I’ll need to give them some incentive to not divulge that information to anyone.”_

 

 

I kiss you and head into the kitchen to make the call and grab a beer out of the fridge.

They seem incredibly relieved to hear from me, but unhappy about Bain, who I knew was a good leader. He was going to be difficult to replace...

I’m feeling maudlin again, and I instruct them to head back home and their instructions will follow. I pour the rest of the beer down my throat. Then I realize - I didn’t fucking make the fucking anonymous call to the Mexican police... yet. No, I was busy cuddling with my husband while my former friend and second in command was lying dead in a forest, far from home. _Jesus_ , Seb... is that the way to honour a fallen soldier?

He wasn’t a soldier at the time, he was a fucking assassin - using the Empire’s resources to fucking try to kill Jim, I argue with myself as I yank open a drawer and pull out a burner phone. He tried to put him in the ground, right to the bitter end... it makes sense that I had conflicted feelings... doesn’t it??

Fuck it. Put this to bed. I make the call, making myself out to be a German tourist who had gone hiking... and was far too distressed by the trauma of finding a dead body to be of much use other than to clearly give the location in between hyperventilating and weeping... seeing how well that worked last time with Mexican police, when there were bodies to report. I cut myself off mid-wail and hang up. I throw the phone in the bin, and wonder just how many sobbing police reports we are going to have to give about dead bodies in Mexico.

God, were we always going to attract so much trouble?

I sigh heavily and pull out another beer from the fridge. I throw myself on the sofa, put my booted feet on the coffee table, and guzzle my beer.

 

 

_I phone the Ukrainian guy, ask if he's in charge of the organization. He says yes. I ask him to give me the name and number of the guy in charge. He repeats that's him. I tell him to stop bullshitting. I tell him I'll come and find him and make him into shoes. He asks who I am. I tell him I'm Moriarty._

_He says they'll call me back._

_I hear you wail in the kitchen - oh yes, the anonymous phone call. Get Bane back to his disconsolate family. Yes, get him out of my Mexico..._

_Bane's phone rings. I pick up. A guy asks in Ukrainian if this is Moriarty. I confirm it is. He says I'm dead. I assure him I'm not. He asks what I want._

_I explain that his company were hired by a mala fide character whose goal was to kill me and kidnap Moran, knowing how dangerous we were, and that they'd probably lose quite a few men during the operation. I explain it was Bain himself who hired them and killed several of their men, hoping to take over the Empire with their help; I killed Bain, and paid their invoice._

_He doesn't seem surprised - probably already surmised something was off._

_I say that the Empire would like to stay friends with their organization - it's always good to have contacts. He seems very eager for that. It's nice to know my name still carries weight despite my year-long demise and Holmes' incessant whittling._

_Finally, I explain that it's in everyone's best interest if no one knows yet that Moriarty is alive. They have seen I am reliable and generous, and they obviously know how dangerous I can be when I'm angry..._

_He assures me that no one in their organization will speak the name Moriarty again until I have OKed it. I don't think I need to warn him that I will find out - my new friend Artem seems quite sensible._

_I hang up and head into the living room, where you are necking a beer and looking not very happy._

_"You OK Tiger?" I ask as I flop down next to you._

 

 

"Relieved to be home, glad we're both safe..." I grumble. "But that level of trouble can just leave us the fuck alone. I've had to call the police twice during our honeymoon about dead bodies! Are we always going to be trouble magnets?" I slide an arm around your shoulder and look at you mournfully. "I mean... if we were working that would be expected... but can't we have two bloody weeks without... home invasions and stab wounds and assassins showing up in armoured vans and helicopters? Or is this just what criminal honeymoons are like, and I just need to get the fuck over it?"

I bury my head in your shoulder and groan.

"Maybe we need a support group for crime syndicates," I say in a muffled voice. "We can whine about our lot in life, and give each other suggestions about getting out bloodstains and planning uninterrupted sex holidays... Oh! That's a service that Moriarty and Moriarty's Criminal Consultation firm can provide - along with the chamomile and counselling. We just have to figure this shit out for ourselves first... and _clearly_ we haven't."

 

 

_I lean my head on yours, kiss your hair._

_"Well, the first home invasion was kind of my fault. Or - not kind of. It was my fault. The second was blatantly your fault for being so irresistible that men come from halfway across the world with elaborate murderous plans to win your love. I mean, really. You could be slightly less perfect, you know. So - one each - let's call it quits. No more home invasions allowed. Also no more dead bodies. That suit was Brioni, I'll have you know. I'll never get the blood out of it. Ruined._

_Which reminds me - we should go to the place where I was locked up and torch it, so we don't get suspicious Mexican officers visiting. You up for a bike ride, Tiger?"_

 

 

I burst out laughing. "I'm sitting here complaining about our chaotic, blood-soaked honeymoon, and you invite me on a bike ride to torch the house where you were imprisoned. Seems strangely fitting... and scenic, too! Maybe we could stop for food after, make it a date? And if there's any chance we can pick up where we left off yesterday, I would be beyond thrilled with how this day turned out..." I sit up and pull you towards me to kiss you deeply. "Torching a Ukrainian safe house with you sounds downright romantic to me now..." I murmur. "Let's go be criminal psychopaths, baby...”

 

 

_"Right Tiger, it will be *fun*... We haven't set anything on fire in *ages*..._

_And then I promise we'll have quiet fucking days lazing about on our honeymoon. Just eating, sleeping, drinking, sex. A Tiger's dream come true..._

_Though we do have to go to Eduardo one of these days with a big bunch of flowers for Elena. It shouldn't be a hardship... they're nice; and I can't wait to see the look on their face when they see who I've married," I grin. I look forward to showing you off - you're so fricking beautiful, your skill is legendary, and you're *mine*._

_We change into biking leathers and put on helmets so as not to be too recognizable. You fill a jerrycan with petrol and we set off to the location of my brief confinement._

_It looks abandoned, still, and no one's been here since yesterday. We enter, pour petrol throughout the place, starting with the basement, douse the outside, and set it on fire, then ride away._

_I think that's all loose ends tied up. I find myself uncharacteristically reluctant to think too much about all this. This honeymoon has got to me - I *want* to eat, sleep, drink, and fuck, and not worry about stuff. What have you done to me, Tiger? You've switched off my brain. I didn't think it could be done._

_I look at you riding beside me - strong and majestic on your machine, your body in skin-tight leather moving supplely with the bends in the road. How could I ever just take all that for granted? Even risk losing it time after time, only to be met with a stainless steel stubbornness that equalled my own?_

_I'm overwhelmed by a wave of love, like some pink liquid pouring over and through me, and it's all I can do not to stop you and strip you and smother you in kisses. Nearly home, Jim..._

_Home. Our villa on the sea. Guarida del Tigre... Mi Tigre..._

 

 

In the end, it's ridiculous how much I enjoy myself - setting out on our bikes in our leathers, expertly setting the place ablaze, and riding off with a house fire in our wake.

My favourite part is how in sync we are, barely needing any communication to get this task done.

My other favourite part is how much we're eye-fucking each other - in our leathers, on our bikes, pouring petrol... And when I throw my leg over my bike and wink at you while flames are appearing at the windows, I could swear that gleam in your eye is you wanting to pull me off the bike so we can fuck right by the side of our beautifully executed arson. But cooler heads prevail and we peel away from the site.

As I suggested, we stop at the little food stand we discovered a few days ago to pick up dinner. With food containers neatly packed in our saddlebags, our bikes roar off in the direction of home.

 _Home_... I didn't realize just how much Guarida del Tigre meant to me until we'd almost lost it. But now we're riding under a clear blue sky towards our sanctuary, our love nest, our castle that shelters a diabolical crime king and his fearsome knight, and I truly feel the sense of coming _home_.

The home where we challenged our demons to ferocious duels and emerged blood-soaked and victorious...

the home where you sang to me in the kitchen and I asked you to slow-dance in the living room...

the home where you claimed me over and over again with your mouth, your whip, your knife, your cock...

the home where we cleansed ourselves of our sins of the past, washed them away in the sea, and you gave me your _name_...

When I first arrived at this place I was Sebastian Moran, still haunted by wounds and ghosts of the past. Now I am Sebastian Moriarty - your fierce protector and adoring husband, no longer chained to my demons - chained only to whatever the fuck you want to attach me to, your willing slave.

And as we park our bikes and remove our helmets, safe within our gates, we grin at each other. I grab the bags of food in one hand, sling my arm over your shoulder with the other, and we saunter into our villa like the badasses that we are.


	7. Getting the Hang of This Sex Holiday Thing

_Food... food smells good, but - there is a Tiger in leather - surely no one can expect me to eat food when there's a leather-clad Tiger right there..._

_I put the food in the microwave so it will stay reasonably warm and jump you. Literally - I throw my arms around your shoulders and my legs around your waist. "Upstairs," I say, and you carry me up the stairs, effortlessly, my strong hero..._

_"On your knees, bend over the bed," I command, and there you are, still head to toe in leather, obediently bent over the bed, the leather so tight across your arse - fuck you look hot..._

_I zip down and kick off my boots, open up my own trousers, free my cock, already erect, and kneel behind you, rubbing against your leather-clad arse - damn, that feels good..._

_I take off my jacket and shirt, then pull your chest upright, get rid of yours. Your back is slightly sweaty, smelling so delicious, so masculine, so feral... I keep rubbing myself against you, your arse in leather, your torso bare... so many traces of me on your back, in your neck... I breathe in your scent, zip down your fly, feel your erection straining against your pants. I pull both trousers and pants down, liberating your cock, and that magnificent arse - that's what I have my sights on now -_

_I push you back over the bed, grab the lube, lube you up, put some on my cock, and line myself up - "I'm going to fuck that gorgeous arse, Tiger - *hard* -"_

_I push inside._

 

 

I'm about to suggest we eat outside on the beach, when I suddenly have a Kitten plastered against me. Legs around my waist, hunger in his eyes... _Randy_ Kitten... _mmm_...

You're issuing orders and I'm following without question.

 _Upstairs_ \- as Sir wishes...

 _Bend over the bed_ \- Sir, yes, _Sir_...

Remembering the look in your eyes when I appeared in our bedroom in leather to strip for you... (was that only a few days ago??) I suspect things are about to heat up _quickly_...

You're pulling off our clothing, but leather trousers are staying on... I feel you rub against my arse, which grinds my cock against the bed and I am _so not complaining_...

Now you're rubbing against my back, and smelling me, and it's so fucking _animal_...

unzipped fly, trousers and pants yanked down...

Jesus, you're being so possessive and it's so _bloody hot_...

When you announce I'm going to be fucked hard and you start to push into me, I'm already breathing hard.

" _Do_ it, baby..." I whisper, feeling suddenly weak.

Then my cheek is pressing into the bed and my hands are scrambling to grip the bedspread as I get deliciously, aggressively fucked by you.

"F-fuck, Jim," I groan. " _FUCK_... _pound_ me, baby...oh, _Jesus_..."

 

 

_I'm more than happy to oblige, Tiger... You looked so hot in your leathers, look even hotter out of them, and I need to *possess* you, after being so afraid I'd lose you, after being exposed to the monster that kissed you when I was dead..._

_"You're mine, Sebastian Moriarty. *Mine*," I groan as I thrust into you hard._

_"*No one* else touches you. *No one* threatens you. *No one* fucking hurts you. Or they die."_

_I bend over you, lick your back, kiss it. "You are the most beautiful, lethal, sexy, dangerous man in the world... you could only be mine. No one else could tame the Tiger..."_

_I grasp your hips and pound you, hard. Every thrust resonates that word through me - mine. mine. mine. I notice the aggression I feel - I'm angry at you, for being desired by another, for being in danger. Interesting..._

_I may punish you for it later, if I still feel that way, but for now the possession is more urgent._

_And you're so fucking beautiful being possessed... obeying my orders without question or delay, submissively bending over the bed, letting yourself be fucked so enthusiastically - I love you so fucking much, Tiger... never leave me, Tiger... please..._

_... and the aggression moves into fear and despair. Jesus Christ. Emotions are bad enough without morphing into one another all the time. My possessive grip changes to a desperate clasping, frantically holding on to you, my love, my life, continually threatened from all sides by lecherous rakes and murderous miscreants..._

_I love you, Tiger, my Tiger..._

_"God, Seb, you're so... fuck... I love you, Sebastian, I love you, I love you..."_

_I'm nearing my climax and the fingers digging into your hips now signify neither aggression or despair, but pure, rapturous lust._

 

 

As you fuck me and rant about how I belong to you and anyone who touches me dies, a few things cross my mind - in the brief moments when I'm not gasping for breath or moaning too loudly to hear myself think.

One - Jesus, you are fucking hot...

Two - there's an anger there that goes beyond mere aggression... I don't know if you'll need to talk about or not, but you seem _pissed off_

Three - Jesus Christ, you are _FUCKING HOT_!!!

And then there's a wistful undertone to your voice...

God, I just want to cradle you in my arms and kiss you and tell you over and over again that I'm yours and you're mine, and there is nothing to fear, it will always be you and me, Jim. Until the end of time.

But I can't, because now you're nearing an orgasm which sounds like it will be spectacular by the way you're moaning and slamming into me, and this just makes me moan louder, and soon we're right back where we started before we were so rudely interrupted on our honeymoon - loud, sweaty, aggro fucking that has me howling like a beast.

"FUCK. YES. JIM!!" I shout, clawing the sheets. "I love you too, baby!!"

 

 

_You *better*..._

_... aaaand there’s the aggression again. Interesting._

_Well, we’re both used to aggressive orgasms..._

_And fuck, what an orgasm this is building up to be..._

_We’re certainly getting the hang of this sex holiday thing. I wonder how many orgasms we’ve had on average per day..._

_*Stop it* Moriarty. You’re not making a mental spreadsheet. You’re on the verge of coming inside your beloved husband - and fuck, it’s good - you’re so hot - so incredibly hot - your muscles, your body in skin-tight leather -_

_Oh *god*..._

_The sounds I make are otherworldly; I’m spasming as I feel the spurts of ecstasy push through me into you -_

_“Sebastian - fuck, Sebastian - oh god so *good*...”_

_That’s the extent of my ability to express myself in English. The rest is unintelligible grunts and groans._

_Fuck, you feel *amazing*..._

 

 

I was right... your orgasm is a thing of beauty. You don’t always let go like this, but when you do... I could practically come on the spot just listening to you, feeling you spasm against me, feeling your grip bruising my hips...

 _Mmmm_... I purr deep in my throat.

You collapse against me, and I close my eyes and exhale slowly. I’m still hard as a rock but I’m your good soldier, waiting for orders.

I feel you starting to soften in me, and you pull out.

“So fucking hot...” I whisper and look back at you hungrily.

 

 

_Fuck... I'm - god._

_I see you look at me with hunger - yes Tiger, soon, just give me one minute to get back to earth..._

_"Wow." I manage, as I turn around and lean against the bed. "God, Tiger, you're - magnificent..."_

_God, if your eyes could light fires I think I'd be a heap of ashes now... you're devouring me with those gorgeous pale irises, licking your lips, only your legendary self-control keeping you from jumping me._

_"Yeah. You in skin-tight leather - definitely not safe for work... fuck, Tiger. I am not going to say that you may have found a shortcut to sex... but if you ever wear that and I do *not* jump you, I'm probably dead."_

_I raise my hand, stroke the stubble on your jaw - a bit longer than stubble now, actually - is it still called stubble? It's bloody sexy, regardless..._

_"On the bed," I gesture. You pull yourself up, zip off your boots so as not to dirty the clean sheets, shuffle onto the bed._

_I drag myself up as well, wrap my arms around you, pull you close. You embrace me, kiss my hair, giving me a moment to enjoy just lying there with you, feeling your heart beat, your warmth, smelling your skin..._

_"My marvellous Tigger, with your hungry eyes... tell me, my exquisite love, how would you like your next orgasm to be?"_

 

 

"Your mouth," I say immediately. Then I laugh. "I'm sorry, should I have paused for a moment? Let me try that again... _your mouth_."

I grin. "I seem to want your mouth on me, baby..." I murmur, kissing your face all over.

This - what we have right here - _this_ is what I needed to protect. _Need_ to protect. Because the world is a scary place, even for criminal psychopaths… and it has a nasty habit of encroaching upon our love nest.

I curl my hand around the back of your neck, and bring your face down to mine. I kiss your lips fiercely.

" _Mine_."

 

 

_Oh, we're going there again, are we Tiger? Alright, I guess you've deserved it... You *did* kill your friend to be with me. And - well - I could object to the notion that James Moriarty could ever belong to someone else, but that would just be an empty protest. To all intents and purposes, I am yours as much as you are mine. I'm in charge - sure - but I could not survive without you any more than you could without me. We are symbiotic._

_I pull my face back after the kiss, look deep into your eyes. "Yours."_

_I watch your pupils widen at that - still unexpected?_

_Then I make my way down your torso, kissing your wounds, licking them softly - it's such hard work being mine, isn't it? No wonder that Bane wanted to *rescue* you... like you'd want to be rescued - if you choose to give your life to a sadistic torturous psychopath, that's your decision. Not a wise decision, but yours and yours alone to make. Really. I might have a thing or two to say about it if you chose *otherwise*... but that's not applicable, thank god._

_I reach your gorgeous cock, hard and eager for me, as always. I'll make this good for you, Tiger..._

_"Hard and fast or slow and long?" I ask, and lick my tongue around your tip._

 

 

I get a choice?? That's rare...

You must still be feeling affected by everything that happened... How could you not?

I feel so full of love for you - _more than ever_ which I didn't think was bloody possible.

Does it just keep getting bigger?? We've only been married for two weeks!

I stem the flare of panic I feel rising up in me. Love is not something to freak out about any more, I chide myself.

Your beautiful husband is waiting for you to tell him how you'd like him to suck your cock.

 _Jim Moriarty_ is waiting for you to tell him how you'd like him to suck your cock!!

So - tell - him - how - to - suck - your - cock - Moran. No, _Moriarty_.

Fuck's sake...

I chuckle, and beam at you. "I love you more than I possibly express in this moment. I would loooove slow and long, baby..."

 

 

_Oh? That was unexpected - I would have thought you'd be so desperate by now that you'd want it hard and fast. There we go, Moriarty - *talking* in a marriage is important._

_"One slow, long, blow job coming up, my love..." I grin, and lick a long stripe from your balls up to your frenulum, making you shiver and some pre-come leak out, which I lick up as I swirl my tongue around your head._

_I start again at the bottom - flicking my tongue over your perineum, your balls, making them contract, then licking slowly up your shaft from different angles. I leisurely lick spirals around your tip, before taking you inside, slowly, slowly lowering my head, slowly moving it up again, getting my tongue involved, then gently move down again._

_I could do this for hours..._

 

 

With your patience and precision, I'm a quivering wreck within mere minutes.

"Jesus..." I groan. "Oh _fuckfuckfuck_... Jim..."

My hands find their way to your hair, but not to guide you - you're doing a fucking _beautiful_ job.

You haven't been at it that long, and I'm on the verge of having a bloody meltdown.

Under the ministrations of your tongue, I'm gasping and moaning, pulling your hair, shivering deliciously...

"GOD, baby... it's so good, I _can't_ \- oh, FUCK - "

 

 

_Oh my *poor* Tiger, is it too good? Not going to be *long* and slow? Or I could keep you on the edge like this until you're begging... That might be nice, actually... I *so* like to hear you beg; you do it so beautifully. But you've more than deserved a treat... I'll keep going like this until you ask me not to, then._

_Slow movements, focussed, giving you utmost pleasure without increasing speed or pressure enough to push you over the edge. You are making the most beautiful sounds... Some words, my name, supplications to deities you don't believe in, the word 'fuck' features repeatedly... I love hearing you express your pleasure so eloquently._

 

 

Oh god, I underestimated how turned on I was, and how fucking good you are at this...

After an epic series of groans and curses, I look down at you, panting -

you seem pleased as Punch at my delirium. Also, it was a big mistake to look down at you - now I have an image of you sucking my cock and smirking at me, seared into my mind. And it just makes it hotter and harder to not just grab your head and start fucking your mouth.

" _Motherfucking Christ_... FUCK, Jim - hard and fast! _Please_ , fucking _PLEASE_!"

 

 

_I can’t help it..._

_“Oh but Tiger... you said slow and long, earlier... I’m confused, now...” I lick around your head, slowly, then take you in my mouth, softly._

_“Gnhgh - Jim - please -“_

_“Please what?” I pull off you again, lick a long stripe up your shaft._

_“*JIM*!!!”_

_The desperation in your voice is delicious, but I was going to be nice to you and not tease you, no matter how tempting._

_I get back on your cock and pull out all the stops - I know *exactly* what you like, what you need, what you want - I move my head quickly, keeping a steady rhythm, using my left hand to help, my right to hold your balls, tickle your perineum. Soon your balls tighten and the sounds coming out of your mouth are just delightful..._

 

 

JIM... I'm going to do what I swore I would never do, and murder you, darling - and I'll be sad about it, but it has to be done.

OH, scratch that - you're doing that thing with the - oh god, your _tongue_ \- right - fucking - there - _squeeze_ \- yes - yes - _OH FUCK YES_ -

JIM!!!

Violent shudders and shouts take me over and I have no fucking control of my body or my mouth. I'm cursing a blue streak and roaring and then coming in your mouth, my body jerking against you in a mad frenzy.

"Oh fucking Christ," I gasp. "Oh bloody hell, Jim. That - was - amazing... I don't know _what_ I was thinking, asking for long and slow - you nearly melted my brain..." I smile at you fiercely. "You are just the hottest thing I've ever seen... get up here, baby..."

 

 

_I suck and swallow and carefully get every last bit of your pleasure from you, then move back up to the head of the bed, grinning, falling into your eager arms._

_Both of us are still wearing our leather trousers, kind of shoved down - I wriggle out of mine and you do the same. I throw them on the floor - I've got so much more lax about these things - you're having a bad influence on me, Sebastian. And I don't care._

_I save the pillow from where it's fallen onto the floor - because *someone* tore off the headboard - and snuggle up to you._

_"Welcome home, Tiger..."_

 

 

I smile at you with teary eyes. "Welcome home, Jim..." I whisper, and press my face into your hair.

"I really am sorry about the headboard... I'll _try_ not to be such a destructive beast when we get a replacement. But no promises..." I tongue your earlobe, making you shiver.

 

 

_"Honey, the destructive beast is the one I fell in love with, and the one I will want to keep... if that means that the household effects need replacing every so often, so be it. We'll get a solid oak beam one, bolted into the wall... with handy hooks for fastening unruly Tigers to..."_

_You grin at that, as I am picturing that thing you said about furniture... hmmm... it would be a proper villainous thing to have a dungeon. Full of torture instruments for my beloved Tiger... or is that now more a 50 Shades of Grey thing; utterly lame and to be avoided? I'll have to check the pulse of the internet... I wouldn't want to be uncool..._

_"Shall we check if the food is still warm?"_

 

 

"Mmm... a man after my own heart," I chuckle. "Dinner and Game of Thrones? And then bed? After all the 'excitement' I'm going to want to sleep for a week..."

I get out of bed, and pull you up. We pad down to the kitchen, and while we reheat the food, I get myself a beer and pour you a glass of white wine. This time we bought an assortment of soft tacos - battered fish with a cilantro cream sauce, chicken with chipotle sauce, and a delicious brisket with a spicy-sweet barbeque sauce... and then churros for dessert. We're both oohing and aahing as we eat, and soon I need to get us more drinks. We start stuffing bites of taco into each other's mouths, and laughing wildly as sauce and juices from the meat run down our chins and onto our chests. It's good that we brought napkins with us or we would have made a much bigger mess.

Eventually we settle down enough to watch Game of Thrones, feeling slightly tipsy and completely happy - I lean against the sofa, with an arm slung around your shoulder possessively. You snuggle against me, with your head on my shoulder. I kiss your forehead and we begin the show.

 

 

_This. This is what I’ve always wanted, and never realized. I always looked down on normal people and their simple pleasures. Sitting down with their spouses, watching *telly*... how inane and banal. Letting their brains rot right out of their ears._

_No, a genius like me could use his time so much better. Planning ingenious games. Plotting to take over the world, or a significant chunk of it anyway. Getting more money. Playing people. Such fun..._

_But did I actually enjoy it? Not the way I’ve been enjoying the past few weeks, which involved none of the above. I relished the feeling of superiority. I was pleased when the pieces in a particularly challenging puzzle fell into place. When a particularly daring plan worked out._

_But I always wanted more. I was so pleased when I found Sherlock; finally a mind that could match my own - but even he got boring in the end. I just went through the steps because I needed to win - I wasn't enjoying it any more. Not at all._

_It was like every achievement became more of a disappointment. And I needed more and more intricate schemes to get even the slightest bit excited - to feel *anything*. That stuff with Sherlock was insane - and it just didn't do it. I’d thought I'd feel elated when I saw him jump - and it was just the closing of another boring chapter._

_But these past two weeks - they've been so different. I am not bored. I just do not get bored. It's mad. When I'm bored, I look at you, and I feel all these things - love, lust, appreciation, sympathy... emotions._

_Will emotions get boring too, eventually? God, I hope not... I don't want to imagine looking at you and feeling indifferent - but that happens, doesn't it? Don't they have this thing called the seven-year itch, where spouses want something different after seven years of marriage?_

_I look at your strong arm, scarred hand, holding me. Will I ever look at this and go 'I don't care'? Inconceivable... but then isn't that what all newlyweds think?_

_Well we're not all newlyweds. We're fucking forces of nature, and we'll be lucky if we survive another seven years, let alone get itchy. I don't ever want to get back to the bleakness and loneliness of my existence before - but then I don't expect that the emotions will disappear, so I shouldn't? I guess?_

_Stop *brooding*, Moriarty. You're enjoying yourself, and you're spoiling it by worrying about maybe not enjoying yourself any more at some point in the future. Cut it out and kiss your Tiger._

_I lift your hand, kiss the back of it, and snuggle a bit closer._

 

 

You seem to be deep in thought, but given the events of the past couple of days, it makes sense. I don't push - when you want to talk, you'll talk. I don't exactly want to broach the subject myself, in case there's any residual feelings of anger or jealousy towards Bain you need to work through.

So I try not to think about your overactive mind and the dark thoughts that may be swirling around in it.

Season 2 of Game of Thrones has been not quite as exciting as Season 1, but it feels like groundwork is being laid for something bloody and epic... so I can be patient. I take note when Arya is talking to a new character - a caged prisoner in a transport cart named H'ghar. There's something about him... I perk up when he offers to kill any three people she chooses. Aha. Assassin. With _reach_. Choose wisely, Arya...

"No no _no_!" I shout, startling you. "That fucker is _inconsequential_!! Choose Joffrey and make it painful! Jesus!" I turn to you. "What the _fuck_ , babe! What was she thinking??"

 

 

_I start when you suddenly start shouting at the screen. I was miles away. What?_

_My mind obligingly plays back the last bit of TV and sees Arya ask the killer to kill the torturer._

_"Yes, if you have three deaths and a powerful assassin, you should pick well. Or you could torture and shag the assassin and have all the deaths you want. But I guess that not even Game of Thrones would go there..."_

_I snuggle closer to you and try to focus on the TV again._

 

 

I burst out laughing. “Torture and shag the assassin... and then have them do whatever you want? However did you come up with this outlandish idea?” I nudge you. “It would _never_ work... Assassins are an untrustworthy lot and nigh untameable...” I wrap my arms tighter around you, and bite your ear.

 

 

_“Nigh untameable, except by short dark-haired killers...” I grin and dive on top of you, biting your neck and tickling your weak spot._

_“I know we slept way too long this morning and it’s not that late, but shall we retire for the night? This honeymoon stuff of shagging and sleeping is growing on me...” I yawn._

_“If we make it to bed without killing each other, does this count as our quiet day?”_

 

 

My laughter when you tickle me is not the manliest, but by now you’ve heard quite the range of sounds from me... especially in the last two weeks.

“Retiring for the night sounds like a dream... I could do with a lot more shagging and sleeping with you, baby...” I stand, pull you up into my arms and kiss you soundly. I look deeply into your eyes and brush the hair off your forehead... kiss you again... then taking you by the hand, I lead you up the stairs.

“A short dark-haired killer... intriguing! Where might an unruly assassin find one of those...?”

 

 

_"Oh, they find *you*... when you least expect it. You'll be peacefully asleep one night... and all of a sudden there's one at your throat," I say as I push you against the wall of the landing and bite at your neck._

_You growl, which changes into a Tiger purr, and we roughhouse into the bedroom._

_Oh yes. Bed is a bit broken._

_Together we push the bed against the wall so we don't lose our pillows, which then of course turns into a pillow fight. A particularly hard hit from you causes a pillow to *explode* and tiny little feathers to suddenly be *everywhere*._

_"Tiger!" I exclaim indignantly. "Has your antagonism towards crockery shifted to bedding!?"_

 

 

"I'm so sorry, babe... I don't mean to be so destructive..." I say contritely before winding up and hitting you again.

Seeing you stand there with an arched eyebrow and little feathers floating all around you has me dissolving into laughter, and I don't put up any resistance when you snatch the pillow from me. I grin at you, my shoulders shaking.

"Sorry, darling. No more. Promise."

 

 

_I'm tempted to take gruesome revenge, but there are little feathers all over the place and they appear to defy the laws of gravity as well as stick to *everything*._

_"Well done Tigger. Within only two short weeks you have made the once so richly and elegantly furnished master bedroom of Guarida del Tigre uninhabitable." I try to look stern, but your expression, combining contrition, mirth, cockiness, and a poorly suppressed grin, makes me laugh, which makes *you* laugh again, and before we know it we're both lying on the bed, shaking with laughter._

_Good grief. First pillow fights and now the giggles - are we fourteen-year-old girls having a slumber party? I believe we may well be..._

_A feather tickles my nose and I sneeze, which makes you laugh even more._

 

 

One moment we're having a pillow fight, and the next we're collapsed on the bed, laughing our arses off. We're both on our backs, giggling away and staring up at the ceiling. I look over at you, and you look so young and so enchanting, it takes my breath away. I squeeze your fourth and fifth finger and say "Hey" softly.

You turn your head to look at me questioningly, eyes bright and with a smile on your lips.

"You know what I just thought of? The last time I remember staring up at the ceiling with you - we were lying on the kitchen table. It was the night you came back..." I feel a twinge of pain and continue. "After I vetoed your declaration of no-sex, I threw you on the table and blew you and it was so _insanely hot_... then we lay back and just stared at the ceiling. Do you remember that, Jim? It felt peaceful and absurd and so goddamn beautiful, it made me _ache_. I'd never experienced anything like that before - especially with you." I turn and cradle your face in my hand. You roll to your side and stare at me.

"Now... I've had two weeks of that fucking gorgeous peace I feel in my bones when I'm with you. Is this just life now? Or is it because we're on honeymoon? Because I feel like we're just getting started... and I never want to let it go."

My hand tightens gently against your cheek. "I never want to let _you_ go, baby. I feel like I've barely broken the surface of who we are to each other, James Moriarty... and I'm ready to deep dive for the rest of my life."

 

 

_I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much as I have in the past weeks, but here we go again. You are just so heartbreakingly *sweet*._

_And the good thing is that I don’t care if I cry. It used to be unimaginable that I would cry in front of *anyone*, including you. Now I hardly even notice. I must remember that this change is only ok with you, not with others. Can’t burst into tears in front of a business associate. Though it might be funny..._

_“I remember...” I say softly. “I was *so* confused... god, it seems *months* ago, if not years! We were so tremulous with each other, so volatile, so shocked - and so in love..._

_Yes, I feel the same. I was so mad about you but so scared at all that new stuff - I had no idea what to do, kept thinking you were going to walk out at any moment... didn’t know how to deal with all those feelings, didn’t know how to be around you -_

_And now it all seems so natural, like we’ve been together like this forever... and that feeling keeps changing - I’m still madly in love but it keeps getting, like you said, more peaceful. It’s less frightening and more... pervasive? Like it’s seeping into my bones, like it just gets deeper and deeper, reaching bits I never knew existed. And it can get scary, like yesterday morning, where I feel I will just disappear, where I love you so much it just *hurts*._

_Do you know what I mean?”_

 

 

I stare into your eyes intently. "I know exactly what you mean," I say softly. "It still hurts, it's still scary... like... teetering on the edge of a heart-shaped abyss. It's so strange - it does seem like months ago..." I hesitate, kissing your hand. "And - I was so broken; I was sure I would shatter into a thousand pieces so many times. It's _inconceivable_ to me that so much could have changed in two weeks. But it did... _We_ did. It's not something I would normally think to say, but - I'm fucking _proud_ of us, Jim. It's been bumpy as hell, but -" I exhale slowly. "- perfect." I smile at you, tearily. "You're _bloody perfect_ for me, my dark angel... my sweet Kitten... my beautiful _Jim_..."

I press my lips to yours and for about the thousandth time since you came back to me, I reflect on my lucky stars in nameless wonder.

thank you...

 _thank you_...

 

 

_My Tiger... my Sebastian..._

_You were so broken, and it was all my fault... and that's the elephant in the room we haven't discussed yet. But maybe that's for the best... we're more stable now, both individually and together. Still, I don't relish the prospect - I feel so fucking *guilty*. But - I felt incredibly guilty before, and I survived. Feelings are - not getting easier, but I'm gradually learning that they don't kill you, no matter how much it can feel like that at the time._

_"Yes, it's been a bumpy ride... with a bit of roadkill here and there... but I wouldn't make the trip with anyone else but you. You are perfect, Tiger... I really don't know what I did to deserve your love, your loyalty, your friendship - but I am not going to question it. You are the only person who could possibly love me - and the only person I could possibly love. We are extremely lucky that we managed to find each other - and probably neither of us would be alive by now if we hadn't..."_

 

 

"Aw, babe... I could never take this trip with anyone but you, either... " I beam at you.

"It took me thirty-seven years to find you... and another five years to get you to put a ring on it..." I nudge your shoulder with mine. "Before you, I thought I was destined to live without love forever - and well, you saw how well I was handling life when you first met me. What did you do to deserve my love and loyalty and friendship? Everything, Jim? How about _everything_... You had me get my shit together, because you wouldn't have stood for anything less. You gave me a role and a purpose... not just that, but a sense of _a calling_...

I was meant for something great - to be _yours_ \- your weapon, your protector, your lover... and eventually your _love_ , but holy shit, I did _not_ see that coming... It pretty much slapped me upside the head with shock...

But don't fool yourself into thinking I'm some kind of good and noble being - I'm really not. I'm just fucking loyal, and I want what I want." I lean forward, staring at you intensely. "And I want you. I have from the moment I heard your _name_ , and even before - when I started to learn about you, you were a _presence_ on the edges of my life, and I felt myself wanting more. And the more time I spend with you, the more I want you... because you're the One.

My One and Only..." I whisper, and kiss your lips sweetly.

 

 

_Wow._

_I kind of knew that that was how it was for you - well - my narcissist side knew. Kind of._

_But hearing you say all this - god, Tiger..._

_I hug you as close as I can._

_"That's... amazing to hear, Sebastian." I say, my voice hoarse._

_"It's - the same for me. It really is. I don't think I would have lasted this long without you - no, I know I wouldn't have. When I found you, I was on top of my game - I had the whole world trembling before me. I had achieved what I had set out to do._

_And - it was an empty victory. I had all the money I could want, people to do whatever I said, and I found - there was nothing I wanted. Nothing I looked forward to, nothing I could strive towards. I just went through the motions - tried to think of smarter and riskier games, getting that brief high of the adrenaline of a close call, or the delight of having outsmarted the system - but then when it faded, I was alone and empty. My family were dead; I had no friends - I didn't want people, didn't need people - people were tools, to be used as required and then discarded._

_I didn't want people, but I didn't want *anything*. I think I would have gone one gamble too far, pretty soon._

_But then I heard about this magnificent ex-soldier who was the best of the best and I really needed him for my Empire. And fuck - he made everything a bit brighter. I looked forward to seeing him. He saved me in circumstances where I might well have got killed. He was smart, and sassy, and reckless, and lively, and he made me smile. I wanted him around - I, who never had been able to bear human company. And then we started shagging - and I found out what sex could be. I'd had men before - but they were cowering whimpering weaklings. Or stupid. Usually both._

_I stayed in one place for the first time in my life. I didn't want to move - somewhere felt like home, because it had a Tiger in it, with his guns all over the place, and his clothes next to the bed, no matter how often I told him to put them in the laundry basket, and his beers in the fridge, and the stink of his cigarettes permeating the atmosphere..._

_I didn't realize it at the time, didn't *want* to realize it, because I am above all that, but that Tiger gave me back my will to live. I wouldn't have lasted to the eve of my thirty-seventh birthday if it hadn't been for him. And now, *finally*, I am starting to appreciate him and show him my gratitude._

_You are my everything, Tiger. You are the reason I am here. I owe you my life, many times over. And more importantly, I owe you my happiness."_

 

 

I must have the soppiest look on my face, but I don't care. _IloveyouIloveyou_ and I can't help myself...

"Almost thirty-seven..." I whisper, and kiss you. "I'm delighted to have helped get you here, considering I owe you my life and my happiness, too. And you're my favourite thing on the planet - even better than weapons or booze or cigarettes. I won't say better than sex, because you _are_ sex." I kiss you again, and gaze into your eyes.

"I do have a couple of things prepared for your birthday... is there anything you'd like to do, baby? I'm sorry I should have asked you sooner... but there's been some distracting stuff going on the last couple of weeks..." I say with a wry smile.

 

 

_"I want a bronze statue, 4x life-size, of me on a horse. And a petard."_

 

 

"You may have mentioned that before..." I smile faintly. "but I asked if there was something you want to _do_... other than staring at a statue of you and a shiny petard."

 

 

_"You? I don't know - every time we think of having a quiet day, we get disturbed. I'll stick to a morning blowjob, an afternoon fuck, and an evening shag. Maybe some light flagellation in between."_

 

 

"Sounds dreamy." I grin. "Lots of protein, then... much water and coffee."

I can't seem to stop kissing you, and I press my lips to yours yet again. "Are you sleepy, darling? You have a full day tomorrow of shagging and flagellation and presents..."

 

 

_"I'm a bit... but not too much," I mumble against your lips. "I'm really enjoying just being close to you... I just want to hug you and kiss you and stroke you like some lovesick teenager. I mean, it'll probably end in sex - I know us - but that's not what I'm after. I just - love you so much... and I want to express it by saying it over and over, and by caressing you, and looking at your beautiful face..."_

_I kiss your forehead. "Look what you've done. You've turned a perfectly good psychopath into a soppy idiot..."_

_But you're looking at me with those pale eyes so wide and open and loving, and I can't stop staring into them..._

_"Besides, *somebody* made the master bedroom uninhabitable. We'll have to evacuate to one of the other bedrooms. I'll write a note to Mrs Álvarez promising her the culprit will be well and truly punished..."_

 

 

I laugh. "Does the culprit really need to be punished? We're on honeymoon, so a broken headboard seems apropos, at least... I think she'd be more concerned about the TV smashed on the patio... or the shot up patio furniture and coconuts... or the police coming to investigate four dead bodies in our kitchen? Hmm, baby?" I give you my most innocent smile, and lift your knuckles to my lips.

 

 

_"Oh, I'm pretty sure the culprit needs to be punished... I may even let Mrs Álvarez do it, so I don't have to tire myself out on my birthday... I'm sure she wields a wicket carpet beater..." I laugh at your disgusted expression. "No worries, Tiger... the only one who touches you is right here. And thank you for reminding me that the TV, furniture, and coconuts also need to be avenged."_

_A little feather tickles my nose. "These bloody things get *everywhere*... let's evacuate, have a shower, and get a new bedroom. I'm sure this one will be magically inhabitable again tomorrow evening. I must just remember to pay this week's invoice... You are a *very* expensive habit, Tiger. If I start deducting all this from your wages, I think you owe me thirty-three years of hard labour."_

 

 

"Fine... but the TV was all you, sweetheart," I smirk at you and get up. "Unless I'm being punished for making you grumpy in the first place?" I hold a hand out to you to help you up. "Well... I did say I wanted to fuck you in every room of the villa. I'm way behind in my goal, so this works out." I pull you towards the bathroom. "Expensive habit, am I? I'd better make sure I'm worth all that money, then..."

 

 

_"I only destroyed the TV because you had demolished every other breakable object in the room," I huff. "Might I remind you of the lovely vases of flowers that greeted us on our arrival? Alas... they scarcely had the chance to bloom..."_

_We get to the bedroom downstairs - the bed is less ridiculously large, but I'm sure we'll manage. And it opens straight onto the beach, which is nice, in case one wakes up with a desperate urge to get into the sea. We flop onto the bed and immediately are all entangled limbs again, pale blue eyes staring into mine._

 

 

"Such a stunning view in this room..." I murmur, gazing at you intently. "Are you comfy here, gorgeous?"”

 

 

_Very much... it must be the company," I whisper. "And conveniently close to the kitchen in case I need to get up for a glass of milk or something."_

_I stroke your hair - the light is different in this room, the bedside lamp has a yellowish shade, making your hair look gold, your face look younger... you look like when we first met, except the eyes are so different - full of fire still, but also full of trust and love. I can't believe I ever was afraid of this... it's the most beautiful sight in the world._

 

 

"A glass of milk, or... something to slather over your body... whatever the situation calls for," I murmur, kissing and chewing your neck. "So many hours to fill, tomorrow... in between your plans for morning, afternoon, and evening..."

 

 

_"Hmmmm? Did you have anything in mind, Tiger? An early birthday present?" I purr._

 

 

"Someone's feeling greedy for presents..." I smile into your neck. "I may have something in mind..."

I begin to kiss from your neck down to your chest. I stop at your left nipple, and suck it into my mouth, swirl it around with my tongue. Your sharp intake of breath is delicious. I flick it with my tongue, then let go and repeat with the other nipple. Then I slowly kiss my way down your abdomen until I get to your pelvis.

"What do we have here?" I murmur, rubbing my hand along your hardening cock. "Did my innocent kissing give you any ideas - of a carnal nature??"

 

 

_"Tiger, you haven't been innocent since before you were born. I bet you made lewd comments to your nanny and deflowered your babysitter. Your entire demeanour screams sex at any time of the day or night - *especially* if you start licking my nipples and rubbing my cock; I mean, I may be reading too much into this..."_

 

 

"If you saw what my nanny looked like, you would know that's just not so. And I had no babysitter to deflower... I had to look to my peers. _Ow_... I didn't know you then!" I rub my shoulder, grinning. "Plus, positively indecent age difference until you were well out of adolescence... But I'm getting distracted from the cock rubbing you mentioned, and that _will not_ do..." I stroke you and push your thighs open to kiss the tender flesh. "You're still reading into this, aren't you?"

 

 

_"Like my favourite novel... The Tiger Who Came to Moriartea... Don't snigger, that tickles," I giggle._

 

 

“Sorry... don’t make ridiculous jokes, then...” I burst out laughing, before stifling it. “Umm. Fine. Back to innocent rubbing and kissing...” I grin up at you, and shove your thighs open wider so I can kiss yet more tender flesh. My hand continues to stroke you, and I make a pleased humming sound in my throat. “Is there anywhere else you’d like to be kissed, darling? Nowhere indecent, please... ”

 

 

_Mmm... the inside of the thigh is so sensitive... your kisses send tingles through my nerves, pleasantly harmonizing with the stroking of your hand. My Tiger..._

_I think I surprise you when I say, "My mouth, Tiger... come here and let me embrace my amazing husband and kiss him passionately - I just need to hold you; I think I have a sudden attack of love..."_

 

 

I blink up at you for just one instant before I move up to your mouth.

"You do not have to ask me twice..." I say softly, taking your face in my hands. "I'm always on the verge of a love-attack..."

I swoop down to your lips, kiss you deeply.

"...if not drowning in one..." I whisper longingly, and kiss you again and again.

 

 

_Our cocks are pleasantly rubbing together, but it's your mouth I'm focussing on... I've got used to this, as much as one can get used to this kind of thing, but I no longer feel I'm drowning when this feeling overwhelms me... I know that it's alright, I'll be able to keep breathing, my heart will be able to continue beating, even while it feels like it's swelling right out of my chest, compressing my lungs so I can't breathe, my stomach so I can't eat... apparently all normal and not a sign that one is dying of love. But I do need you here when I'm feeling this... I do need to feel your chest against mine, your heart as close as it can get to my heart, our souls melting together. Not that I believe in souls - but if we had any, that's how they would be closest._

_I feel your tongue licking my lip, your sweet breath on my mouth as you whisper words of love and beauty that no one would expect from such a rugged soldier, and I stroke your golden hair, your perfect neck, your back, covered in marks, because for some weird reason you, perfect golden angel, let me live out my possessive, sadistic, domineering side, and you love it..._

_My heart swells even more, and it's getting painful. "God, Seb... if I love you any more, I think I'll burst... is that possible?"_

 

 

"Love-burst? Nah... I've never heard of any documented cases, it's just a frightening story to tell newlyweds..." I grin at you and kiss your nose. "I have felt the same way more times than I count, angel... and I haven't burst yet. Just into tears or laughter or orgasms, and sometimes one after the other... have we scored a hat trick? We must have done... I'm sorry, I'm being silly... It's what Tigers do so their Magpies won't feel distressed. I could juggle for you, but I'd rather just keep kissing you, if that's alright? Jesus, your body feels so fucking good, baby..." I brush my lips against yours, and move my cock against yours.

 

 

_"So does yours, Tiger... You know how incredibly hot you are, but your cockiness makes you even hotter..." I stroke the arm you're leaning on. I love your arms... they're so strong and muscular; and I love the veins lying on top of the muscles, the little blond hairs dusting the tanned skin, except where the scars are - skin untanned and hairless, but intact, which is what matters._

_I want to please you, make you happy - that's so unlike me that I don't recognize it at first. But when I do, I like that I can feel like that - that I can feel a genuine desire to make someone else happy. I don't think I've *ever* felt that. No wait, for Georgie. I loved to make him laugh and smile._

_(*Pain*...)_

_Oh yes... that happens._

_(*Tears*)_

_Oh fuck. I didn't want to spoil the mood, Tiger. I'm sorry._

 

 

I watch as you stroke my arm and look at it closely - I love it when you observe a part of me, up close and personal. I feel so admired, cherished, adored... you're running your hand over the hair on my arm in fascination. Your eyes look so faraway, and then fill with sadness and then with tears. What - happened??

"Jim? Sweetheart?" I caress your cheek. "What's wrong??"

 

 

_"Sorry, Tiger. I was just - thinking of Georgie. His birthday was just two days before mine - I wonder if Mam and dad only had sex on Valentine's Day... anyway - he'd have been thirty-five yesterday. He's been dead much longer than he's been alive... and - I sometimes registered it was his birthday in the past, but I never felt anything with it. But now..._

_He's the only person I ever tried to make happy. I tried so hard, I felt so responsible for him..._

_The only person except you, that is. I want to make you happy. As happy as is humanly possible... Because you make me so fucking happy..."_

_Good grief Moriarty, will you stop crying one of these weeks?_

 

 

"Oh, Kitten..." I murmur, kissing your face as you cry, my sweet Jim. " _Kitten_... you _do_ make me fucking happy. As happy as I've ever been in 42 years. _Yes_ , I know, almost 43..." I quickly amend, as I see you make the correction in your mind. "You make me happy just by existing and loving me - so just keep doing both and we're aces, as far as I'm concerned."

I gather you in my arms. "I'm sorry about Georgie," I murmur and kiss your forehead gently.

 

 

_"Yes, me too... I'm sorry, Tiger, I didn't mean to derail your train of thought... I liked where it was going... but I just feel - guilty, I guess? That I never really mourned him... I was furious more than sad. And I just - fled Ireland and never looked back. I feel like I neglected him... neglected his memory. I don't know how to mourn someone though - I mean - I know what the Catholics do and that seems a bunch of nonsense. But I also feel bad for not doing anything. Do you understand what I mean?"_

 

 

“Yeah...” I say slowly. “I do. I felt that way about David too, out there on the beach. Like - how could I not have mourned him, when I felt, still feel, responsible for his precious life being cut short? The guilt was such a terrible burden to bear all these years... a bit less now, but not fun to think about. But for Georgie, do you _want_ to do something? We could talk to Adonia, if you want? See if there’s something she could suggest?” I’m not sure how you’ll feel about that... You don’t ask people for help, ever.

 

 

_I only felt guilt when I was here, and it was overwhelming, but then I moved on to other things... it feels like I should have been feeling guilty for longer, that I am dishonouring Georgie by enjoying myself... yet I know that he would not have wanted me to feel bad..._

_Adonia?_

_Huh._

_I never thought about - I mean, I did think about doing something, some kind of ritual, but I didn't know any except the old Catholic ones and they feel so empty. But Santa Muerte... she doesn't fuck about. She knows - she knows me. I also bet she doesn't say suicide is a sin._

_Tiger, once again, you're showing your brilliance..._

_"See, that's why I married you..." I smile. "Not just a pretty face..._

_That's actually a good thought. She may have some idea that might actually mean something to Georgie and me. Probably not - but then at least I tried._

_Let's go there the day after tomorrow. I don't expect Georgie is in any rush._

_It's so weird - I know he's gone and I'm only doing this for myself, but I feel guilty towards him... ugh. Feelings are mad."_

 

 

" _Yes_ ," I agree. "Completely mental. OK, we'll go and see what we could do - and you can decide if that feels right." I think of Santa Muerte in her shrine, and a shiver moves through me. Like she's looking back at me from the image in my mind. OK, let's just put a stop to that _pronto_...

"I'm glad I'm not just a pretty face to you any more," I say wryly.

 

 

_“You never were, Tiger. You were a talented sniper first and foremost,” I say, cuddling up to you. “The pretty face came as an unexpected extra; and I wasn’t quite sure if it was welcome or not. It was pleasant to look at, but *so* distracting...”_

 

 

“Mmm... I absolutely meant to distract you, and drive you to distraction. You could say it was my mission statement - besides being your pretty killing machine.” I nudge you. “Although I did enjoy that, too. You gave me sooo many opportunities to take out my aggression on the world and be a sexy badass. It was such a _pleasure_ , Jim Moriarty...”

 

 

_“The pleasure was all mine, Sebastian Moriarty. Except when the sexual frustration got too much in the beginning. Bloody hell, that was hard. Pun not intended. Being with you all day and then just letting you run off to go rutting with some illiterate berk... can I be blamed for occasionally snapping and killing one of them? Or for keeping you so occupied that you didn’t have time to go rutting? And I having to go back home completely *frustrated*! The most powerful man in London and I couldn’t even get my leg over!_

_No, our later arrangement suited me much better... and *this* one is perfect.”_

 

 

"Any sexual frustration was the fault of a highly literate berk... you could have had me in an instant and you know it! In fact, I was only tomcatting so much _because_ you were dangling the possibility in front of me, and then not letting me have it..." I nuzzle your neck. "My flirtatious little tease..."

 

 

_“Flirtatious? Moi?! Hardly. Just naturally sympathetic and pleasant. Not my fault if people read too much into that. I was *trying* to be professional. Unlike *some* people, who just go off gallivanting in the evenings sticking their cock into anything that moves.”_

 

 

"Not _anything_ that moved..." I say loftily. "I had _some_ standards... of course they all fell short of what I _really_ wanted. But your sympathetic, pleasant arse was off limits, wasn't it - always enticingly juuust out of reach. And yes, you were _very_ professional - your surveillance, stalking and killing surpassed industry standards..." I catch your earlobe in my teeth and shake it gently.

"I notice you protested 'flirtatious' and not 'tease'..." I whisper in your ear.

 

 

_“Well... I could be a tease, Tiger, if you insist...” I grin._

 

 

I grin against your neck. “Was I insisting? I think you’re hearing what you want to hear, honey...” I murmur, nibbling your tender flesh.

 

 

_"I may. It's my birthday, after all," I grin. "You're just *so incredibly hot* when you're dying to get your hands on me... Which did *not* help when I was trying to keep my hands *off* you. You have this *look* you get... your mouth slightly open, your eyes dark, your pupils large, your entire body language just so *inviting*... damn."_

_I hop out of bed, open the wardrobe into which we've deposited our bag, get some cuffs out, dangle them from my finger._

_"What do you think, Tiger? Can I be a tease, with you tied to ehm... the beam in the corner, I'm not risking *this* headboard..."_

 

 

"I can't say no to a Kitten hours away from his birthday..." I grin, looking up at you. "Or _ever_... but especially then."

I stand up and stalk towards you. "OK, baby... make me give you the _look_..."

 

 

_Hmmmm..." I smile and lead you to the beam, tie your wrists around it, take a step back._

_"What a perfect birthday gift..." I smile. "My very own captive Tiger... a mighty predator chained down, for me to do with as I like..."_

_Fucking hell. You really are there for me to do with as I like. Thinking back to when we just met made me recall how frustrated I used to be, going home on my own, without you, knowing you might well be off fornicating with all and sundry - sometimes I'd not be able to restrain myself and monitor you, or thwart your escapades in some way or other. I remember one time you were just about to shag a girl, and I was so pissed off, I sent you a text to come for some job or other - and you *defied* me. Finished your copulation and only *then* joined me. I was livid. Not that I showed it. And even after all that, I just had to let you go home. Couldn't keep you in my flat, in my bed, in my chains, in my claws._

_But here you are. My Tiger. The most beautiful, talented, enchanting man I'd ever laid eyes on - mine. Completely mine. What a ways we've come - from you being my new star employee, to our first excursions into my bed, to the indomitable team of the Spider and his Sniper, to - this. Husbands._

_"The most handsome man in the world - mine. As it should be, of course... but still, it never hurts to take time to appreciate one's privilege..." I muse._

_"I'll just be a moment..." I say as I walk out the door._

 

 

Cuffed to a beam, I smile at you wickedly. “Yes, it’s important to chain Tigers down... otherwise god knows what they’ll do to you...”

You stare at me for a long moment, musing in your dominant Jim way.

And then walk out the door.

Oh god, what are you getting, and what am I in for!

I look down at little Seb. “I think we’re in for it, dearest... brace yourself and don’t get too excited yet. He wants to _tease_...”

My cock twitches in response. Traitor...

 


	8. Quite the Fucking Psycho

_I look less eye-wateringly good in biking leathers than you do, but I'm sure it'll do the job. And also... ah, yes, good idea, Jim. I'm full of good ideas. Quite handy to be a genius._

_I grab a small speaker for my phone and walk in strutting it to Moves Like Jagger. I put the speaker on the nightstand and cross the room, to where you are tied up, your mouth slightly open - yes, *that* look..._

 

_I dance in front of you, looking into your eyes, grown big..._

 

You say I'm a kid my ego is big

I don't give a shit and it goes like this

 

_I start singing along to the chorus:_

 

Take me by the tongue and I'll know you _\- a quick flick of my tongue over my lips..._

Kiss me 'til you're drunk and I'll show you all the moves like Jagger

I've got the moves like Jagger

I've got the moves like Jagger

 

I don't need to try to control you

Look into my eyes and I'll own you _\- I'm pointing my fingers at your eyes and then mine – hey! your eyes were nowhere near my eyes..._

with them moves like Jagger

I've got the moves like Jagger

I've got the moves like Jagger

 

_I'm not taking anything off - just showing off my moves. I love dancing, and I know you love watching me dance. And this song is perfect for the hip thrusts, the occasional suggestive crotch grab, showing off my pert arse in the tight leather as I'm moving away from you..._

 

 

I stand still, chained to a beam, waiting for you.

What could you be planning?

What could you be getting? Something to torture me with?

And then...

Oh.

OH GOD...

All thoughts flee my mind...

Mind goes blank...

You're in leather...

You're dancing...

You're going out of your way to be a tease...

Oh, fuck... I don't know if I'm going to make it.

I watch your hips,

and your crotch,

and your arse,

as they move in the most breathtaking ways...

is there music playing? All I hear is white noise in my head...

a whimper escapes me.

so beautiful...

 _so fucked_...

 

 

_Whimpering *already*, my dear Tiger? mmm..._

_I *so* love being admired, being desired. Especially by one as hot as you._

_When the song is over, I let the music play - next one is One More Night. I dance to the cupboard, get out a blindfold, walk over to you, put it on you. I'm pleased to see the sheen of perspiration on your forehead, the large pupils looking at me before I obscure them, hear the slight panting._

_When I've blindfolded you, I start dancing around you, letting leather-clad limbs touch you, feathery, light, from all sides, sometimes not even touching, just whispering past you._

 

 

Oh god, you are _sooo_ enjoying this...

I thought it would be physical teasing, which I'm used to after so many years of your games... but to see you flaunting yourself at me in leather... _god_...

And now I can't _see_ what you're doing, but I can feel whispers of your touch and it's _bewitching_ me, making me strain against my cuffs, and moan.

Bloody hell, Jim...

 

 

_Moaning already... *so sweet*..._

_The next song is Animals, which is perfect for some more direct contact. I embrace you from behind, rub my pelvis against your bottom, then dance around and rub my bottom against you. Little Seb seems very intrigued by the proceedings, as does big Seb, who is groaning audibly over the music. I touch you full-body now, rubbing myself against you, letting you feel the cool leather._

_Then I unzip the jacket, scratching the zip over your skin. I move away from you, take off the jacket and let the sleeves whip your chest, before I drop it on the floor. I'm wearing a silk shirt underneath and start dancing against you in that._

 

 

Oh god, I thought watching you dancing for me in leather was hard enough...

but things are getting harder by the moment, and I can't see a blessed thing. I can only feel you _rubbing_ against me, all over me...

Oh... jacket's off...

"Oh, god... _keep going_..." I hear myself growl.

_Please..._

 

 

_Growling now... I should make a chart of Sebastian’s sounds vs his excitement some time. From the innocent soft moan to the full-bodied roar._

_I dance against you with the silk at the top and the leather at the bottom - are you enjoying the different sensations? Are you well and truly worshipping me? You better be, Sebastian... I’m doing all this for you..._

 

 

"Oh fuck, Jim... you know I'd rip that shirt from you if I could... take it off," I groan. "Please..."

 

 

_Ah yes, the good old begging..._

_“Not quite yet, my Tiger...” I whisper, move away, zip off my boots, then my trousers. I’m wearing thin satin pyjama bottoms underneath, start my full-contact dancing again._

 

 

At the sound of unzipping, I perk up. Now I'll feel your flesh against me, and I'll be that much closer to -

"What? You're _killing_ me..." I moan. "Why so many layers? Aren't you getting warm? Jim??"

 

 

_“Nah, this fabric is all natural and breathes,” I purr. “Do you like it Tiger? Do you feel how *smooth* it is?”_

_Now I’m no longer wearing leather I’m more mobile - I lean against your side and lift up my leg, let it slide up and down your legs._

 

 

“Yeah, really fucking beautiful...” I gripe. “I want to feel _you_ , baby... just skin...” I wheedle as you move your satin-covered leg against me. Actually, it does feel nice, I think grudgingly... but... it’s covering the _best parts_ of you, and that will _not do_...

“Please, baby?” I purr.

 

 

_“Oh I don’t know... I have hardly started teasing...” I smile._

_I let the song finish while I move against you with nothing but the thinnest softest fabric between me and you, then I remove your blindfold._

_I step back and enjoy you devouring me with your eyes as I dance, undoing button by button of my silk shirt, my erection clearly visible in my pyjama bottoms._

 

 

“Oh god... baby...” I gaze at you, enraptured by your body and your dancing. “You’re so _fucking beautiful_... are you sure you don’t want to let me out of these cuffs?” I croon as I strain against the cuffs again. “I’ll be so good... I _promise_...”

I stare at your erection, and lick my lips.

 

 

_“I’m sure I will let you out... eventually,” I smile, letting the silk fabric cling to my skin as it slides off my chest._

_I move back to my captive Tiger, embrace you, skin on skin now, our erections nearly touching, separated by sleek satin. I lick a stripe in your neck._

 

 

Shirt _off_... yesss... one step closer to naked Jim.

Which is one step closer to Sebastian coming long and hard. If naked Jim allows it, of course.

Depends how much of a tease the birthday boy wants to be.

Like I said, I'm fucked. I just hope it's in the good way, not the 'trying to sleep with a painful erection' bad way. Now your chest is sliding against me, and your erection is soooo close to mine... My head hangs forward, watching to see if...

You lick my neck, and my head snaps up. You're so close, within licking distance. But I don't want to be punished for it, and denied what this could be leading to - I want you _so much_.

Your eyes are so close to mine...

"Can I lick you too, baby?" I ask raggedly.

 

 

_"Why not..." I purr, offering my neck to you. You lick, then move in closer for a lightly sucking kiss which you know I *love*..._

_I put my arms around you, let myself enjoy the sensation, then move away again when a new song starts._

_Hip thrusts, cock strokes, bum views... and then the satin trousers slowly gliding down, down onto the ground. I step out of them and stand in front of you completely naked and erect._

 

 

And there it is... the most beautiful cock in all creation.

And it's all for me. It's just technically out of reach for the moment...

God... my mouth is actually watering.

"Jim..." I moan. "You're so fucking beautiful..."

I'm not straining at the cuffs now, just kind of hanging from them in surrender as I stare at you longingly.

 

 

_"How desperate are you, Tiger?" I ask, as I walk up to you, stroke your jaw. So beautiful... "You look so good in chains, just waiting on my pleasure... your cock all hard and leaking, so eager for me... "_

_I walk to the nightstand, stop the music, walk back, stop a few steps away from you, move my hands over my torso, caressingly, turn around, rub my hands over my buttocks, turn again, stroke my right nipple until it's hard, then the left, then move my left hand down, stroke it slooooowly from the base of my cock to the top, closing my eyes and arching my neck, licking my lips._

 

 

How desperate?? I moan involuntarily as you walk away.

And then my mouth opens as I watch you start touching your body. Oh god, everywhere your hands go, I so want to be touching you... when you touch your nipples, I'm breathing hard... and when your hand closes over your cock, I make a noise deep in my throat.

"Very desperate, baby..." I say hoarsely, my throat suddenly so dry. "Very fucking desperate..."

 

 

_“Tell me, Tiger. It’s not a game - I’ll let you out and fuck me anyway, in a bit. But - tell me what you see, what you want. Tell me what you think when you look at me.”_

_Yes, alright, I’m hungry for compliments, so sue me. I’m a narcissist. But you are so incredibly beautiful and hot, and seeing you wanting me is the sexiest thing in the world, and I want to enjoy it more... know that you look at me and genuinely desire me and think that I am beautiful too..._

 

 

You want me to extol your physical virtues; I'm happy to oblige you... the problem is, my mind went blank when I heard "I'll let you out and fuck me anyway, in a bit". It's still bouncing around my head like a pinball game, and now there are accompanying questions: 'You'll let me fuck you? How long is a bit? Should I go from behind or face to face? Standing up against a wall?' And now there are images, _so many images_... oh god, stop picturing it, idiot! Or say it loud at least... instead of daydreaming while a naked, erect Jim is waiting for you...

"God, you look so fucking hot-" Oh. Beautifully done, Oxford scholar...

"I'm sorry Jim, my brain tends to shut down when I focus on you... because no one is more gorgeous than you, and no one has ever looked hotter... I really mean that. God, I could just look into those big, black eyes and get lost for hours... and stroke that beautiful white skin... Do you know what sets me on fire, Jim?... your _fucking arms_. You are _so much stronger_ than people think, and even I forget sometimes. But just watching your muscles move..." I groan, and close my eyes. "And don't get me started on your beautiful arse and your fucking gorgeous cock." I open my eyes and stare openly. "None have ever compared to yours..." I say softly, then gaze into your eyes. "You're a fucking work of art, darling. A statue of a god come to life... there are moments when I'm so swept away, I almost feel like I shouldn't look at you directly! But how can I help myself? And it's true what they say about looking at god... in these moments you _annihilate_ me..." I murmur, and stare longingly at you. "But if loving you means being annihilated by you over and over and over, then so be it. It's what I live for... and what I was made for."

 

 

_Your first words make me glow as expected - but then - oh, Seb..._

_Wow. That’s some metaphysical stuff... and I know what you mean; I’ve seen that look on you - you may be the one who looks like a god, but you do look at me as your god... and fuck if that isn’t right up my narcissist alley. But where before I’d take this as well-deserved in a good mood, or unthinkable in a bad one, now it just makes me want to run up to you and wrap my arms around you and cry with love._

_Maybe the latter is not advisable to keep the mood... but I’m doing the former before I have a chance to think._

_“If that’s what you’re like with a shut-down brain, I don’t want to hear you with a fully working one, because that just about killed me... I love you, Sebastian... one more thing, before I unleash the Tiger...”_

_I lean close, bite your earlobe, whisper “How do you want me?”_

 

 

“Fuck.." I whisper. "You're bound and determined to have my brain go offline, aren't you?"

I shake myself out a little, as much as I can in restraints. Right, Sebastian - how do you want him??

"On your back," I hear myself say in a hoarse voice. "I want to look into your eyes when I take you..."

I gaze at you intently. "And when you come... I want to have a first-row seat, you beautiful little fucker..."

 

 

_Enough ego-stroking for tonight, I guess._

_I get the key and undo your cuffs, lead you to the bed by your dog tags, and fall down onto it, pulling you on top of me, kissing you, wrapping my legs around you._

 

 

It is unbelievably fucking hot to be led by my dog tags - by you, and you alone. The first time you did it... I actually went weak in the knees.

My knees aren’t feeling much stronger now... and I make a purring sound in my throat as I’m pulled by you to the bed... and pulled down onto your body.

I’m feeling downright dreamy as I kiss your sweet lips, and when your legs wrap around me, I groan. “Fuck, Jim... how is this getting hotter? And how do I keep falling deeper in love?” I kiss you softly and with longing, and stare into your eyes. Then I grasp your thighs, pull them more firmly against me, and kiss you deeply, slipping my tongue into your mouth.

 

 

_“Yeah, it is getting hotter, isn’t it... I think it’s because we’re letting our guard down more and more? Just... relaxing into it? Trusting each other more fully, letting ourselves go...” I mumble in between two kisses, then give up on the psycho-analysis (that’s a good one, though, I’ll have to tell you later) and focus on the kissing, the stroking, the grasping. I didn’t make you too desperate, clearly; you’re taking your time, kissing longingly, lovingly, languorously..._

_I moan softly against your lips as our cocks rub together._

 

 

 _God_ , hearing you moan makes my brain feel like it's _melting_...

And then your cock rubbing against mine... _fuck_...

"Mmm... makes sense," I say and kiss you. "Clever Kitten," I whisper, and kiss you again.

My fingers dig into your thighs, and I push them back firmly.

I slide between your thighs and gaze at you.

"Do you want me, baby?" I murmur, and nuzzle your neck. "Want my hard cock inside you?"

 

 

_"I most certainly do, Tiger..." I purr. "Nothing as good as Tiger cock... did you know they're in high demand in China and Southeast Asia, lauded for their healing properties? I am very familiar with the curative properties of a daily dose of Tiger cock myself. I've never felt as good as when I started regularly taking it... There's something to alternative medicine after all..."_

 

 

I throw my head back and laugh. "High demand, you say... I better not see anything on your laptop about the black market for wild animal parts... or I'm locking your arse up. You'll be my love-prisoner, and my cock will be safe. Besides once you have a daily dose for an extended period, you don't want to go without." (Only I guess you did go without... for a year. Fuck - don't think of that now...)

"So..." my voice lowers. "Are you ready for your dose? I have an excellent one right here..."

 

 

_"Oh don't worry, I'm well and truly addicted," I reply. "I've just been noticing some odd side effects - like not being able to think clearly, and having a warm feeling in my heart area, and ehm - a quite persistent erection... do you know if that is anything to worry about?"_

 

 

"Actually... these are signs of increased libido. It's a robust response to all the Tiger cock you've taken in..." I lean over to the nightstand - looks like you already brought lube into the room, my sexy genius... I open the cap and generously slather my cock and your entrance. "I recommend you don't worry, and continue with hearty doses. Or increase it if you want - couldn't fucking hurt," I growl, and I pull your hips up and towards me. I smack your arse and grin at you. The head of my cock pushes into your entrance and I exhale long and slow. Then I move my cock in small, slow, lazy circles to stretch you out.

"Ready to be dosed, darling?" I breathe and push in slowly. I feel your muscles close around me and tighten, and I let out a groan. "Oh _god_... you feel _so good_..."

 

 

_"Ready..." I moan. I'm pretty sure though that it *would* hurt to increase the dose. Your dose is large enough as it is..._

_But you feel *good*, and I've been wanting this, and I can look into your eyes and see your face contract with pleasure, your pale blue eyes looking at me like you can't quite believe what is happening - I love that look on your face. You never really had enough of a poker face to be able to hide how much you *love* sex, but I wasn't usually looking you in the face - it was too personal, too dangerous; easier to keep you facing away, ignore you, leave you to take care of yourself in privacy. And it was probably a smart move if I tried to avoid feelings... because there is no way I can look at you looking like this and *not* melt into a giant puddle of gooey love hearts... You're looking at me like you're amazed at how good this feels, like you're not sure you've ever felt anything comparing to this in your life, like you're not sure if you'll be able to process all this delight, like I must be a god if I'm giving you these sensations... Pupils so large, looking into my eyes... I love you, Seb..._

_"I love you..." I whisper._

 

 

My eyelids flutter closed at the sight of you, at _your words_... My head falls back and I breathe deeply. Jesus... sometimes it's almost too much.

I open my eyes and stare at you, transfixed. You're a fucking vision, and you're fucking _mine_.

"I love you too, Jim," I groan. " _So much_..."

I push slowly into you, move back, let your muscles adjust, push deeper. "How long do people go on honeymoons for, babe? A week? Two weeks?" I pant. "I feel like I'm just _getting started_..."

I raise your hips as I surge forward, pulling you against me. "Oh god..." I moan. "You're so hot, baby..."

 

 

_“Since when do we care about what *people* do? Our honeymoon lasts as long as we want... Twenty years, if that’s what we feel like,” I moan as I’m relaxing, accommodating you... that gets easier too; I’m not suppressing discomfort, just breathing through it, just enjoying the idea of it, the looks of you, until I start to enjoy the feeling proper._

_And you’re so good... I have nothing to compare you to; I’ve never let myself be fucked expecting to enjoy it by anyone else. I was definitely planning to never let myself be fucked again when I acquired you... little did I know how fucking amazing it could be._

_Your cock is divine; it makes me feel filled up in just the right way; your every move enhances the delight... I moan underneath you, pull you closer, I want you as close as possible, I want to see your eyes screw up with rapture, I want to feel you shudder, I want to hear you roar in ecstasy in a manner to rival your wedding ring..._

 

 

“Twenty years?” I breathe, transfixed at the thought. “Jesus... that’s so _fucking hot_...”

I drive myself into you, making us both moan. I stare down at you as you pant. “Oh god, Jim... do you have any idea how much _I want you_... even as I’m fucking _buried_ in you,” I rave. “I just _want more_...” I groan, pull back, drive myself into you to the hilt.

I dip my head down to devour your lips, while gently grinding against you. Something tells me this is going to be a good one... and I want to start off your birthday with a motherfucking _bang_.

 

 

_I gasp and my eyes close as you push all the way inside me - that feels so incredible, slightly painful but mostly just ecstatically *good*. I raise my hips; move until the angle is *just right* - you pull back again, move in, and a shiver pulls through me. Your eyes look into mine, so full of lust and longing and love... and that's another thing that changed; you're no longer afraid to show that, no longer hiding how much you love me. And it feels so scary to be loved; to have that kind of responsibility for another's feelings, but so incredibly empowering and warm and wonderful as well... god I love you, Sebastian..._

 

 

I bury myself in your arse again and again, continually leaning in to kiss you. When my eyes aren't shutting in ecstasy, I'm gazing at you longingly. I love how compact and lean you are, and how _big_ you make me feel... how you love my muscles and my strength... I do make a show of it sometimes, I'll admit. I have an arm around your shoulder and a firm grip on your pelvis, and I pull you against me as I thrust. _Yes_ , I'm your big - powerful - soldier, I think to myself with mounting pleasure as my pace increases...

"My sexy - beautiful - psychopath - " I pant, squeezing your arse as I bring your pelvis to mine. "So hot... getting - close - Kitten -"

 

 

_"Who are you calling a psychopath, Moran..." I half-growl, half-pant. "You're a fucking great psycho yourself... my magnificent murder machine..."_

_I dig my nails into your back; I can feel you getting harder, stiffer, even bigger, and know your release is close - and find myself longing for it, as well as not wanting this to end. God, I have changed... you silly Tigger, you've made me into someone I never have been... and I have no idea what I'm going to do with him. He's yours now... you take care of him... I am sure he's in good hands. The best..._

 

 

“Fuuuuuck...” I groan, as you growl at me and dig your nails into my skin. Well, you must be right... anyone who gets turned on by their lover complimenting their murder skills mid-fuck is most certainly a psycho. I laugh as I fuck you harder, and yank your head back by the hair. With the other hand, I grasp your cock and begin to stroke.

“Oh, baby... you’ve got me bang to rights,” I croon. “And coming from you, that is a _bloody compliment_...” I lick your exposed neck before biting down on it hard. From the gasping and moaning that fill the room, I know orgasms are bearing down on us hard.

“I live to be your magnificent murder machine...” I murmur, as I plunge my cock into you over and over.

 

 

_Fucking - hard - hair-pulling, restrained, possessed - cock-stroking - oh fucking *yes* -_

_and then you bite my neck and the sound coming from me is unworldly -_

_I let everything dissolve except *sensation*, my brain momentarily on pause, *again*, like it's the most normal thing in the world, like that's just a thing I do now, letting my body experience fully without my brain going off on tangents._

_Or is it just because I let *you* loose; let you immerse my body in so much sensation that my brain doesn't stand a chance? Well - no, it could take over, but it would be *so* much less pleasant... best to let it just doze off while the body experiences..._

_the body..._

_I never really appreciated the body. It was a vessel for my brain; there to be kept in functioning condition so the brain could move around and take action. Annoying when it malfunctioned with stupid nuisances like injury, hunger, or cold; necessitating an interruption of dedicated cogitation to attend to inferior physical needs. Sex was kind of one of those, though in a slightly special category because it involved playing with people, and that made it more fun. And then with you, it got a few extra dimensions, even though I vehemently tried ignoring those. But now, allowing those in..._

_*all* those dimensions... all those senses... my entire body filled with you, electrified with you..._

_I don't see why I ever thought this was in any way inferior to anything cerebral... it's primordial, essential, the core of life -_

_"Fuck - Seb..."_

 

 

" _Jim_ -"

My muscles begin to tremble.

"Oh, fuck - Kitten - " I moan and feel desire mounting higher and higher, then hover for a shivering moment before releasing and bursting into pleasure... I cry out, jerking into you... pulling you against me hard... feeling my seed spurt into you.

"Oh - Jesus - " I pant. I stay inside you for a moment, and continue stroking you.

Then I slowly release my grip on you, and pull out gingerly...

"Come for me, baby," I growl, before pouncing on your cock and sucking you hard.

 

 

_Your orgasm is always a thing of beauty; but especially now, now you’ve been let off your leash and fully let yourself show all your feelings. Your face contorting, your body trembling, your hands pulling me closer as I feel myself filled up even further, your hot pleasure pouring into me, and I *love* it - love love love seeing and feeling and hearing you come. I never used to pay too much attention, but truly the Tiger orgasm is one of the most beautiful sights in nature._

_You slide out of me and immediately dive onto my cock; and oh fuck - oh fuck Tiger, no, almost too intense - I buck underneath you, groaning, clutching the sheets._

 

 

Are you trying to get away from my mouth? Nnnno, not quite... but you're being deliciously fighty...

I gently slide my hands over your hips, and dig my fingers into your skin.

"Do you need a break?" I whisper against your cock, and delicately lick the head.

 

 

_"No - No, keep doing what you're doing; it's probably illegal in any civilized country, but fuccck... Tiger your mouth - shut up and give it to me..."_

_You snort and dive back onto my cock, and my mind is reduced even further; no coherent thoughts are happening at all, my entire being is focussed on sensation, and what sensation I am treated to... even with my genius I can't even begin to try to describe your mouth, so I won't... I'll just lie back and enjoy... well... I say lie back... writhe and moan and oh god oh fuck - *Tiger*..._

_My hips buck upwards into your mouth, my mouth makes a sound that I can't describe, lest I describe it as a *mewl*, my back arches, all feeling in my body concentrates in my balls for a split second and then is released in violent rainbow pulses of ecstasy as my pleasure pushes its way into your mouth..._

_*Tiger*..._

 

 

I moan as you come into my mouth hard... I don't know what it is about you coming that practically makes me come, myself. I'd always enjoyed giving people pleasure... it made me feel smug and satisfied and like hotness personified. But with you - it's always been a whole other level, right from the beginning.

With you I never knew if I was going to be thrown out, killed or punished... or totally ignored. But coming - coming was a _truth_. If you came, I knew I did something that you enjoyed.

You admitted to me that you were extremely stingy with sex acts with previous men... and with me you got so carried away with how good it felt, that it was often just sex for the sake of pleasure. This was like having a very bright and shiny medal pinned to my chest. And a crown on my head, and a sash reading "Best of everything Jim Moriarty needs"...

Yes, you would totally be withholding enough to deny yourself an orgasm if it messed with my head, or sex entirely, if it punished me. So it was a bloody big deal when you threw aside mind games and domination, and just let yourself come to orgasm. In my hand, in my mouth, in my arse... it didn't matter. I just needed it. I needed what it told me - that you found me, and what we did together fucking _hot_...

Jesus, our relationship was fucked up... that's why our connection now means so much to me - no. _Everything_ to me.

I'm your husband, and you're mine. I would do anything for you... I'm the only one who has given you orgasms for five years, and the only one who ever will...

I flop down next to you, and run my fingers through your hair. "You're so beautiful..." I murmur. "You came at midnight! Happy birthday, baby..."

 

 

_Eventually the purple fireworks fade enough that I can see something. I am aware of my breath, heavy, trying to gather oxygen to transport to exhausted muscles, a sensation on my scalp - your fingers -, your voice..._

_Happy birthday?_

_Happy birthday... happy birthday to me..._

_It is a happy birthday. It's the happiest birthday I've ever had..._

_My eyes fill with tears, and I turn to you - you embrace me, make a shocked noise, but no-_

_"No, Tiger, it's good; these are happy tears... I was just thinking that it's already the best birthday I've ever had - I'm not under threat, I'm not alone, I'm with someone who loves me and who remembered my birthday, and who I'm allowing to love me... fuck, Tiger, last year I was alone, the years before that - if you acknowledged my birthday I laughed at you, if you didn't I got mad - I was horrible... and the years before that - I don't even want to think about..._

_I remember turning eighteen... I completely forgot, until I was walking home late at night - I had had a good night, I was getting to know some of the right people, was learning I could manipulate them quite easily - and suddenly this girl walked by with a balloon saying Happy Birthday and I realized - it was my birthday. It was quarter to eleven, so I dove into the next pub and bought a bottle of whisky - drank one full glass there, took the rest home. I woke up covered in vomit the next day, but - that was a good birthday._

_Sorry Tiger, I'm rambling - that's what you get with old men..."_

 

 

I listen as you run through the shitty birthdays you've had, feeling awful. I mean, I had some terrible birthdays when I was younger, but in my adult years they tended to involve a lot of drink, or shagging, or both.

"Old men, huh..." I say drily. "I'll probably forget you said that, so do be sure to remind me, won't you?"

I kiss your lips. "I'm so sorry you've had shitty birthdays, Jim. And yes! You were manipulative and downright horrible -" I kiss you again. "But that's in the past now. So be prepared to have good birthdays from now on... I can't promise they'll _all_ be wonderful, but - you know I'll do my very best to make them good for you..."

I prop myself up on my shoulder and grin at you. "Starting tomorrow! I have a few things planned so maybe we should sleep and be well rested... are you ready for bed, baby?"

I think not knowing what will happen tomorrow will drive you crazy... I keep myself from laughing out loud. This is going to be fun...

 

 

_I really have changed. In the past, I would have deduced what you had planned, would have decided whether I liked it or not, would have thought of how to respond. Somehow that response was always nasty - I couldn’t very well appreciate the thought and care that you’d put into your gifts, could I? Next thing you know I’d be grateful or something._

_But it’s not only the appreciation that’s changed - I also have not deduced what you’ve got planned and I’m not going to._

_Silly Sherlock once said that he couldn’t switch it off - no willpower, that boy. Of course you can switch it off; you can switch everything off. Just like it’s possible not to think of a pink elephant, if you don’t want to. Will._

_Anyway. I’m not deducing. It’s so incredibly tempting, but I’m not. It’s nowhere near as tempting as waiting to see your face light up when you’ve genuinely managed to surprise me. And after all these years of me being a twat, that’s the least you deserve._

_“Alright my beautiful husband... let’s go to sleep. Think you can get through the night without dismantling the bed?”_

 

 

"Well, I won't dismantle it in my sleep, or anything... it's just when we're fucking that you might need to worry..." I smirk at you, and lie back against the pillows.

I look at you and open up my arms. "C'mere..." I say in a lazy, seductive voice. "I want to lie with you in my arms all night and wake up with your naked body pressed to mine..."

You slide into my arms and snuggle against me.

I'm sure you've already guessed what your birthday surprises are, but you don't say anything - which I appreciate.

"I'm so looking forward to tomorrow, baby," I whisper into your ear. "Get some sleep, I'll be right behind you..."

I wait until your breathing evens out, and then I close my eyes.

 

 

_It's delicious to fall asleep in your arms... my nose breathing in your scent, my head resting on your shoulder, feeling so held... the sound of the waves coming through the louvre doors... the warmth of your body heating up the safe space underneath the blankets..._

_I don't dream._

 -------------------------------------End of Book Six------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed Crime and Punishment, check out the next book in the series:  
> A Sea of Troubles  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/18262154/chapters/43214666

**Author's Note:**

> Playlist:
> 
> The Only Time - Nine Inch Nails  
> Flesh - Simon Curtis  
> Bloodletting - Concrete Blonde  
> Poison - Meg Myers  
> Crucify - Emma Hewitt  
> Dissolved Girl - Massive Attack  
> Slept So Long - Jay Gordon  
> God's Gonna Cut You Down - Johnny Cash  
> No Reflection - Marilyn Manson  
> Fondu au noir - Coeur de pirate  
> Killer - Boys Noize  
> Stubborn Love - The Lumineers  
> Now or Never Now - Metric  
> Somebody - Depeche Mode  
> Role Reversal - Confide  
> Moves like Jagger - Maroon 5  
> One More Night - Maroon 5  
> Animals - Maroon 5  
> Strict Machine - Goldfrapp


End file.
